Realizing that no girls have ever really cared about me?

Pretty much every girl I've ever been friends with and have had crushes on haven't really cared about me. I just realized that literally no girl has ever texted me first to ask me what's up or how I am unless I haven't talked to them in literally months (because I realize they're a shitty person/friend). I have plenty of good guy friends but girls I know are just acquaintances. I seem to give a lot more than I get from them, and have started putting little to no effort into my relationships with girls because they seem to be borderline parasitic and just take take take. Whether it's my emotional support, academic support, or whatever, they take it and they never give that back in return if I ask for something. It just seems a lot easier for me to do my own thing than have girls waste my time. Maybe I'll meet someone who will actually like me and want to spend time with me but I'm done putting in effort for people who don't care. I do have a huge crush on this one girl right now and have had it for a while because she seems sweet and thought I was attractive at one point (could tell by her body language, hair play, and what not) but I realized she never texts me first and thus doesn't give two craps about me either, so I think I'm gonna put that to bed. I wish I could find a reason to text her, but knowing that she doesn't care and literally has never texted me first unless she needed something from me, there doesn't seem to be much of a point to try.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • To be honest, there are a ton of people who are just careless... And eventually your bound to find that one person who will care for you more then anyone. For exemple, I had many crushes but they easily wore off cause apparently it wasn't a real crush. Now though, I have this one crush that I can't stop thinking about day and night and it still hasn't wore off... That just goes to prove that you'll eventually fall for the right one cause deep down you know their good for you... Hope this makes sense and cheers you up

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    • Right. For me though, I'm kinda done for a little bit. If it happens for me great, if not then that's fine too. I've been alone for 21 years and I don't think being alone for life is all that bad. So far it seems like relationships are way overrated because the women I've been surrounded with are harder to deal with than they're really worth quite frankly

Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm the same way as you describe in your post. It's crazy that there's more guys that have had the same experience with girls as I have.

    I always been shy and serious, snd because of tough life experiences it resulted with people say that I somehow come off uptight and distant due to my seriousness in which I developed due to this notion that I somehow felt ignored and that I have "a sour face". had that personality all through high school and my twenties and now thirties. I always have struggled to be talkative with girls, I always have struggled with interaction with women due to that shyness and in an attempt to interact with a girl that I find attractive I have always found myself tounge tied with nothing to say to her, wanting to interact and talk to her so bad but coming up short with words and empty handed. Or in most cases not talking to them. It's sucks but I'm kinda moving out of that now. I'm taking to girls now more than I ever had, I met girls that were not good for me that I wonder how could I find the "one" among all this women who overlook me for others and missed out chances thanks to insecurity and not much confidence in myself. I'm there still fighting. Hits and misses. Successful interactions and times I wish I would have approached but just couldn't do it. Sucks but life goes.

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    • Sounds like me haha. I don't think I'm necessarily serious, but past experiences have definitely discouraged me from making moves. Maybe in a few years things will change, but I need a little bit of a break from the whole potential dating scene

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    • Dude I thought of the same thing.. wow now I don't feel weird anymore knowing another dude thought and said the same thing.!

      The dating to me is mid next to low chance but I'm hanging in there..

    • 3mo

      Thank you for most helpful!

What Girls Said 2

What Guys Said 4

  • It's really hard, are you ready to quit forever though? Such as following ideas such as that of MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way)?

    Or do you still have any other second thoughts about relationships and a future with somebody?

    You just can't be too clingy and needy with the ladies, that gives them the power and once you put them on the pedestal. I still think that you can always just focus on what you actually still have control over and focus on things like self improvement and then if in the you do get into a seriously committed long term relationship somehow only treat it as an important learning experience and nothing more than just a bonus to your life's experiences. No relationship is guaranteed to last forever, just keep that in mind.

    I think the reason they can take advantage of you is because they see you as a nice guy or something. It's an easy target for them to get you to do things for them and then give you the cold shoulder when you ask them in return for something you need.

    But like I said, don't really focus on dwell on the unhappy feelings, life's shorter than we think so just go out there and have fun, you don't really need a partner, relationship or anybody as they can't really complete you and truly make you happy. Happiness comes from within ourselves.

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    • I know. I'm not unhappy, just frustrated when I want to be with a girl and it doesn't pan out because the ones I like don't like me. Lately I've felt more horny than normal and I eventually want the opportunity to be with an awesome girl, but my past experiences have made me feel otherwise. I'd rather have fun with my real friends and do things I know will make me happy and have a good life. And maybe a girl will come in it, maybe not.

    • That's pretty much it. No guarantees. They either feel desire for you or find you desirable to them or they do not. Simple as that. You can't force attraction since you can't force them to feel, think, or act the way you expect and want them to feel, think, and act for and about you. There are plenty of other Single people, and I think mostly are guys on this planet. I think relationships are really just overrated anyway. If your end goal in mind is really to have a family of your own some day and that you really want to be a dad then those are the only real valid reasons that you should never quit no matter what.

      But if that is something you find to be completely undesirable for any reason, then it won't really matter either way. I personally think it's much harder to really be in those type of relationships or a marriage where both the guy and the girl have clearly made up their mind about being a couple that will never want to be parents.

    • Exactly. I don't know if I want to be a parent or not, especially if I can't even make that first step into a relationship with a girl who actually likes me. It's hard to not feel a little bitter, but I think keeping expectations virtually nonexistent is the way to go. That way it is a more icing on the life cake than a significant part of it

  • You have been dealing with what I like to call bitches, they only look for their benefit. I'll let you know this, some girls are just shy and scared to text you if they like you. Don't mix the two up.

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    • When we first met she was really flirty and we had mini staring contests from 4 feet away haha but then she went from wicked interested to not interested at all in the blink of an eye. Maybe at school next year I'll cave and tell her what I think of her, and see what happens. If I get embarrassed and brutally rejected so be it, but at least it'll be off my chest.

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    • Good luck man! Not to be so negative, but I think I ought to just lower the heck out of my expectations with women. That way I am practically numb to a letdown, and if something good comes along then it'll be more of a pleasant surprise rather than an oh finally kind of thing, you know?

    • Naw fam keep your head up a little bone in your back will give a better chance.

  • You don't care about a person who doesn't care about you. Fuck them. Get rid of them asap

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  • I feel you man

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