Be honest, don't worry about being modest, you can answer anonymously. Do you ever feel beautiful/handsome?

I read that apparently only 3% of women feel beautiful, & that was heartwrenching to read…

but on the other hand, I know that women in particular are pressured to be humble and modest.

I don’t doubt that most women have many insecurities, but I also think that many women may feel ashamed to express what they like about themselves, due to social pressures to be modest.

Like, I think I’m beautiful sometimes, but I probably wouldn’t say that to someone who was surveying me.

I also tend to downgrade my accomplishments too. For example, I'll write an essay that I think deserves an A (and does end up getting an A), and my professor asks what grade I think I should get, and I'll be humble & say a grade lower than an A.

I don't want to appear conceited, but the fact is, I do feel more confident than I let on.

Does anyone else relate?

Do you ever downplay how you feel about yourself, your looks, and your accomplishments, in order to appear modest and humble?

  • I feel very beautiful/handsome
    5%(2)10%(8)Vote14%(6)
  • I feel pretty beautiful/handsome
    26%(10)21%(17)Vote16%(7)
  • I feel somewhat beautiful/handsome
    18%(7)12%(10)Vote7%(3)
  • I feel a little beautiful/handsome
    5%(2)7%(6)Vote9%(4)
  • I don't feel beautiful or handsome, but I don't feel ugly either.
    18%(7)17%(14)Vote16%(7)
  • I feel ugly.
    21%(8)26%(21)Vote30%(13)
  • I feel ugly, but pretend that I feel beautiful/handsome/hot.
    7%(2)7%(6)Vote8%(4)
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
Many of you aren't answering my question about whether you downplay, or (the opposite) exaggerate your self esteem & body image.
I have a feeling women may be more pressured to do the former whereas men may be more pressured to do the latter (avoid admitting insecurities etc)
Anyone?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't, it's a pretty even split... I often just feel average or non-interesting but not ugly. But occasionally I feel very good looking. I don't really think about this when I interact with others though, it does not really have an effect on my confidence level.

    I tend to downplay my achievements when talking to people as well, or I have doubts about their legitimacy, and I have been trying to err on the side of being more arrogant than I would naturally be, which ends up coming off as just "normal" I think.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I answered C.
    Most of the time, I will feel average but sometimes, I do feel beautiful. And that's not necessarily when I'm putting on makeup up and dress up well (ben if that helps). Sometimes like yesterday, I'm just going to the beach with my boyfriend, I have no makeup on but I feel so good and when I see the way my boyfriend looks at me, in those moments, I truly feel beautiful.

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    • Do you feel like you have to downplay, or in contrast, exaggerate, your self esteem when with other people?

    • I think that most of the time, I'm pretty true to the way I feel but I also have my down moments like everyone. In those moments, even though I feel like crap, I'll pretend everything is normal, that my self esteem is the same so I exaggerate it.

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What Guys Said 23

  • It really depends on the day. Sometimes I pretend to ignore my flaws, and think "hey, look at that dude in the mirror, good looking chap right there". Then I wake up from fantasy land, and realize that it only works on a very very specific angle and lighting.

    And because I'm quite down to earth and don't go to fantasy land a lot, most days I'm ugly.

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    • Do you exaggerate your self esteem when with other people?

    • It depends on their personality. I consider myself quite shy. I don't make friends easily, unless I'm forced to. And lately, I've found out that it depends on the personality of the other person. I can change the way I act accordingly to how comfortable they make me feel around them.

      And sometimes I may be overconfident, because they give me that feeling that I can be that way ( which may be the way I feel deep down when I forget about my flaws)

      But this last part about feeling comfortable around someone is extremely rare. Really rare.

  • It depends on the day; generally I just feel average

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    • Do you feel like you have to downplay or even exaggerate your body image when with other people?

      I ask about exaggeration because I think that men might have the opposite problem than I'm describing.
      Whereas women may be more likely to feel ashamed expressing confidence, men may be more likely to feel ashamed expressing insecurity.

    • My issue is I'm a very tough critic of myself. So, I honestly feel that I don't downplay myself. I don't think I'm super attractive just okay physically

  • I only feel handsome when I wear my suit and tie or some other formal outfit. Other times I feel bad about how I look.

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  • Not beautiful, but not ugly so i guess realistic? A little more handsome in a suit with my hair done properly.

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  • I generally feel average and once in a blue moon handsome - My achievements when they happen I am proud but very quickly as time goes by, I get bored with them like within 10 minutes.

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    • Do you feel like you have to downplay or even exaggerate your confidence and/or body image when with other people?

      I ask about exaggeration of confidence because I think that men might have the opposite problem than I'm describing.
      Whereas women may be more likely to feel ashamed expressing confidence, men may be more likely to feel ashamed expressing insecurity.

    • No I don't think so - I never think about my confidence or body image, what you see is what you get - I feel if I talked about whether or I not I thought I was good looking, it is not going to change how I look and if I talk about my achievements, it is just bragging, I admire people who quietly do things , self confidence is who you are not what you say you are.

  • I used to have low self esteem had hired a therapist and it was mostly connected to not having my father that much in my life... Women too. But i eventually built self confidence and realised im pretty good looking and am a catch. It definitely had to do with mostly downplaying myself... But some people from the same sex messed with me when i was emotionally down. And the women i liked didn't liked me so it didn't help and i never really had a father figure in my life so i learned a lot on my own so the whole situation was bad all together.

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  • Alternates between E, F, and G. I guess Ocassionally D.

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  • I do everything I can to NOT let compliments or admiration into my psyche, because I don't wish to become conceited. I've seen what internalizing "I'm beautiful / I'm sexy" often does to people.

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  • Umm 😶
    Yep I can relate a bit
    Average is the word for me

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  • I will admit I am fat, but I do still have quite a bit of muscle. I kinda feel a little below average. Everyone describes me as a big teddy bear.

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    • Do you downplay, or in contrast, exaggerate, your confidence around other people?

    • I am very confident around people. That being said, I am still trying to lose weight.

  • I ain't ugly but im not sexy either. Im aight. im kinda chill about it. Someone can say im ugly but i ain't. But some times i just look and do some stupid shit.

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  • of course

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  • I'm ALWAYS beautiful.

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  • I feel ugly most of the time.

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    • Are you honest about your feelings to others, or do you exaggerate your self esteem?

    • Ofcourse I don't go around telling others how ugly I find myself. Why would I do that?

  • I don't like downplay.

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  • I feel ugly and I'm open about it, too.

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  • I know I'm ugly don't need no website to tell me that.

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  • yes everyday im a 10

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    • Do you downplay your confidence around other people? Or do you proudly assert your confidence?

  • Very very handsome 8)

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    • Do you downplay your confidence around other people? Or do you proudly assert your confidence?

    • Don't care what people say about me

  • depends on my mood
    but i feel average most of the time and ugly when i have bad haircut

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    • Do you exaggerate or downplay your self esteem around others?

    • well i can tell you i can't understand myself
      im kinda super shy guy so i never exaggerate my self around others and i never downplay my self esteem
      but sometimes i feel like im unwanted undesirable when i notice that no one noticing me but thats normal i guess

  • i feel so ugly it hurts, because girls never give me any attention of any kind, they ignore me, talk to other guys around me, but never talk to me as if i dont exist.

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  • I don't feel ugly, I AM ugly ahahahahah!

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    • Do you exaggerate your feelings of self esteem when around others?

    • No, I don't need to, I have an average self-esteem and I joke about my own lack of beauty. Being not attractive is just lacking of ONE of the many qualities one can have, and this shouldn't ever let someone down. Do I wish I was handsome? Of course! Do I mind being not? Well, whatever, I still know I tend to result funny to most :)

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What Girls Said 13

  • I always feel pretty. I just don't consider myself anything other than pretty. Like, if I didn't like my body and myself by now it would be pretty absurd XD

    It is GOOD and OKAY to be happy with yourself. It's even better if you share that happiness with others so they can be happy with themselves too ;)

    Humility is a good quality. It's important to know your limits, but if you don't reach for things, no one will hand them down to you.
    images.tvfanatic.com/.../know-your-value.gif

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  • I feel average most days. I know I'm not hideous, but I don't feel gorgeous either. There are moments where I'm like, "Huh, I look nice today," but those moments seem to be fleeting.

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  • Sometimes I feel beautiful and sometimes I don't.

    It correlates with whether I've recently gotten complimented or not, unfortunately.

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  • I feel hella ugly on most days bc "tall girls suck", "freckles are gross" and "skinny girls are disgusting". But sometimes when I wear pretty clothes and go out with my friends and people compliment me I feel better about myself. :)

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    • Do you exaggerate your feelings of confidence when with other people?

    • You mean like cockiness?
      Not at all, I actually hate that behaviour in others and hence wouldn't portray it myself. Company makes me feel better in general though, I just love humans.

  • I chose A and I really mean it.

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    • You're right about that too!

    • Do you downplay your feelings of confidence with other people?
      For example, I remember telling my therapist once, "I feel beautiful," but then I got embarrassed at my arrogance & backtracked. I was like "well... what I meant was..."
      I forget what I said to justify my feelings of confidence, haha, but the fact that I felt the need to assuage my feelings of confidence was telling.
      Do you ever feel that way? Like you're afraid or ashamed to express feelings of confidence?

    • It's good to know your own value

  • i feel ugly

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    • Do you exaggerate your self esteem with other people? Or do you freely express your low self esteem?

    • why should i exaggerate things? i am not one of those damn attention seeker who want to get attention from everyone by fishing compliments... i have confidence issues that's it

  • Sometimes I feel acceptable and sometimes I feel sexy but not very often. I've never felt beautiful though.

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    • Do you feel like you have to downplay, or in contrast, exaggerate, your self esteem when with other people?

    • I do try and act confident around people and that does fool quite a lot of people. So yeah I exaggerate how confident I feel about myself, even if I don't feel good I act like I do. Fake it til you make it I suppose.

  • It depends on the day.

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    • Do you feel like you have to downplay, or in contrast, exaggerate, your self esteem when with other people?

    • I usually down play 😝

  • I feel like I need plastic surgery and hours and hours at the gym

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  • I dont feel pretty at all

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  • totally depends on the day!

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    • Do you feel like you have to downplay, or in contrast, exaggerate, your self esteem when with other people?

  • Nah I'm disgusting, makeup just makes me feel less ugly lol.

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