Have woman ever considered that men do not want to get married or have kids because it is unfair to men?

hi
well i will start by saying this is just a question i am wondering about but every one of my friends complain about how men do not want to be with them or have kids and so on but here is the thing have any women ever considered that men do not want to get married or have kids as they have next to no say or rights and then they have to pay a butt lot of money by law so why would they do something so unfair to them
so i ask what do u think is the law unfair to men and fathers in the marriage and child department


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Most Helpful Guy

  • To answer your original question I as a man want to get married and have kids someday and I won't be with a person that doesn't want those things.

    I think to truly say that the law favors the mother you'd have to do a legitimate study. Years ago yes the mother was favored because of the traditional gender roles. Women are more caring and nurturing and men work and bring home the bacon. Its 2016 folks, now I think we have a fair amount of Judges who rule 50/50 even though you may go find numbers that support that the courts favor the women. Youd have to go case by case and often times you'll probably find that the husband either cheated or just simply left the family.

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    • oh so the man getting no say in the child s name and not being able to know anything about the child or where they live unless the mother consents is fair to u

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    • Women pay too. There are father's out there who get full custody and get child support

    • but only after years of fighting and the mother has to do something so bad the courts has to take action or the mother will most likely get the kids 95% of the time

Most Helpful Girl

  • Erm... yeah, I think MANY women have thought that. It's hardly a secret that some people think that way.

    Fuck em, we aren't living in the 1900's, women can earn money and support a family, perhaps he should stay home scrubbing toilets and changing babies. I'm sure LOADS of women would love that dynamic, then he can claim alimony when the marriage ends... except we don't live in the 1900's either, and nowadays most families have to have two wages coming in... so how are these men paying more? Or is it that they will pay when their marriage dissolves... maybe they shouldn't let that happen in the first place.

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    • or maybe women should stop trying to control everything and think well men may be more will to be equal in this is they get a EQUAL SAY AND TREATED AS EQUALS not as just atms

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    • @takemaker its not that most women try to control the relationship, what is scary about it s that the law gives women the means to take control of all of it. there is nothing you can do as a man.

    • @anonman32 that is what i am saying it should not be like that it should be 50 50

What Guys Said 11

  • I think about this a lot and how women don't seem to understand what kind of risk it is for a man to get married. For a girl, getting married can cause emotional problems but then it's over. For a guy, he can end up paying child support, he can lose his home, end up having to pay for the ex-wife to stay in it. He can be imprisoned if the wife gets a mark on her somehow and blames it on him.

    In short, marrying the wrong woman can make you have to give her all your money and end up in jail while never getting to see your kids. And lately marriages have been going in that direction.

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    • i agree with that and i do say that is why men do not want to get married or have kids cuz of how unfair it is to them

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    • @AriadneSky The legal system is tilted towards women. Unless you want to hear a long story about why don't even say otherwise because the legal system fucked my whole family up and many others, it's so commuted to women. I learned about government corruption when I was 10 years old and my family was pitted against each other using phony paperwork. You have no idea. None.

      And it doesn't end at marriage/divorce.

    • i am so sorry for what u have been through and i agree with u

  • No. The law isn't unfair. Once a child is born, the father has every right as much say as the mother in what happens to that child. My daughter is the happiest thing that's ever happened to me and I was a very, very reluctant father.

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    • but if the mother did not put u on the birth certificate u would have zero say until u paid a lot og money in court to get the same rights the mother has that she gets for free and automatically and even then u get not say in the child's name or any right to see them any more than every other weekend and u have zero rights to anything before the baby is born like being knowing anything or being at the ultrasounds or birth so how is that fair to men

    • If the mother doesn't put the father on the birth cert, I suspect she's guilty of a misdemeanor. The dad should therefore have some leverage. The visitation isn't preset. The court decides. You're right that it'll involve substantial expense.

    • which is unfair to the father

  • i think that if you want to start a family than that both partners should decide together about family matters. i think it is indeed unfair that the law gives all the power to the woman and leaves the man powerless, i mean it is even legal for a woman to abort her baby without telling the father that there is even a child. the least a woman can do is to tell the father that he is a father. i think many men run away but there is nothing else to do. you have to be so careful with women and sex nowadays, besides a condom all contraception lies in the hands of women and if there is a child because of sex then everything is in her hands as well. there is nothing you can do as a man, you must comply with what the woman says. how is that any different from the 1800s where men used marriage to control women? i thought we were supposed to be emancipated now.

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    • i agree it should be equal

  • I prefer not to have kids because of how hard it is to raise a kid, also not everyone can do parenting right. I don't have any problem with the mother having more of an authority. Personally I don't have any unfair law issues, I just don't want to take any risk.

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    • so u like not legally having a say in ur child's name or where they live or what school they go to or even if u go on ur own child birth certificate as u need the mother consent to go on there and even then u get next to no say on anything and then say u get divorced u end up paying ur ex

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    • I wasn't aware of that. Thank you for letting me know. I just added one more reason in my "why I don't want kids" list.

    • yes there is a lot of things the mother can do that if the father did he would be arrested for

  • I don't buy all of this unfairness towards men nowadays. As long as you don't marry a psycho, you're fine.

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    • ture but the law should be equal

  • As a guy i understand why more and more men choose not to get married because in end if everything goes badly it has a huge negative effect on us.

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    • i agree and that is why i am so lucky to be a women

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    • really i will have a look thank u

  • I don't want to get married or have kids, because... I just don't want to. Fairness has nothing to do with it. It's just not a lifestyle that appeals to me.

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  • Yes. The law is unfair to men and fathers in the marriage and child department. Marriage is stupid.

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  • no, every law was designed to control me because i'm reckless.

    it kind of worked...

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  • In a society so hell bent on divorce rather than pulling up their big boy and girl panties it would be lunacy and financial suiside to have children with the vast majority of men and women now a day.

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  • Yup women have done their best to screw up dating and relationships. Now guys just want to bang and run. Women expect more than they offer and so their value beyond their body has dropped to almost nothing.

    Have fun with that shit ladies.

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    • thanks dude for that so i have no hope of finding a guy to have a family with then but i agree

What Girls Said 8

  • I think some guys genuinely are afraid of being forced to pay too much money for child support.
    I think some guys are just looking for a way out of commitment.
    Some women want marriage because they love a man and it's a part of her culture to get married and have kids.
    Some women want marriage because they want to screw a guy over in a few years, a few pregnancies later.

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    • but we would not have any of that if the law was equal and it was 50 50 on everything like say two people have a kids the mother dose not get all the say but only 50% of it and the father gets the other 50% and they have to agree together on things like the kids name and where they live

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    • oh sorry about the grammar it is just i need a new keyboard as some of the keys do not work right and yes it should be equal

  • When married Women usually end up working and doing most of the house work and child rearing. Wen would have to pay f they male more and many do

    if people don't want to get marred they shouldn't. who cares. i dont know why everyone makes such a big deal out of it. so many joists about how someone does not want to, or will to get married, as if its a threat.

    if they dont want to so be it. tats life. carry on. though i think its all lies. men get married 3 times as often in a lifetime as do women. this is not the behavior of a sex that eschews marriage. but talking like they have it i guess is supposed to make them seem hard to get and in demand.

    in my opinion. think the 'disadvantage' goes to women not men. more demands are put on them in the marriage. much more.

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    • but in divorce they get almost everthing and when it comes to kids they get all the say so how is that fair

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    • And anyhow obviously men think marriage is 'fair' enough. they are doing it several times more often than Women.

    • i know women need to be in control of their body but u can not use that reason after the baby is born can u for the mother to get all the say and the father gets none and where are all the men that want to get married as i sure as hell have never met any or heared of any

  • I consider that I want children and to be married, someday.

    If the person I'm with, doesn't, they're not the person for me and I'll end it.

    * Don't get me wrong, there's no hard feelings. Just not the person I'm meant to be with.

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    • i am asking why do women get all the say by law and the men get next to none and i am asking do women see that this is the reason men do not want to get married or have kids as they get no right or say

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    • lmao. You've got to be a troll.

      If you don't understand HOW MUCH work we go through, not only during but after the baby is born; you were not properly educated.

      Just ask a relative, if you're not a troll.

    • no i am not a troll and do u have kids cuz i do i have a little girl well almost she will be here soon so yes i do know what it is like but it still dose not justify why women should have more say than the man after the baby is born

  • Sure have. If anything should go wrong with the marriage, it's the men that usually get the short end of the stick unfortunately. They end up having to pay more money to their ex-spouse and don't see their children (if there are any) typically. With that in mind, it's not a wonder that more and more money don't want to get married. If they do, it's completely understandable to want a pre-nup before going into it.

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    • i agree and they do not even get a say in the child's name to as that happened to my friend he had a child and the ex did not even let him help pick out the name and the law lets her do that so unfair

    • Well, that's a specific case and can be true for others. If I ever have a child or children, you can rest assured that I'd like my boyfriend or husband, whatever he may be, have a say in the name.

    • same here but some women do not think like that say in the case they are not together the father gets no say legally which is bs as it takes two to have a baby not one

  • The father of the child has as much right to the child as the mother and when it comes to paying for stuff everything should be paid down the middle. What your descrising is like what goes on between single parents not married couples with kids.

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    • yes i know but why is it so unfair to the father then they are not with the mother when is should be equal and why dose the law support such unfairness

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    • That's tough, I know here the court can't do anything if the name isn't on the birthcert unless they have a DNA test

    • where do u live as i am in the uk and they do jack shit here unless the mother wants something from the father

  • Well I don't want kids and I don't care about marriage. So yeah

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  • Most men on gag claim they want kids

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    • then they are clearly young or do not know the law

    • They are delusional

  • To each of their own. My relative's husband left her because she didn't want kids. I guess both men and women want families, and some men want it so bad that they leave their SO if SO don't want it.
    But I think that marriage and kids are unfair to women. We get stuck with pregnancy and all the work. Men have it easy

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    • but us women get all the say and benefits unlike men whose only right is to pay

    • If working from 9am to 10pm is easy, then I'd rather have the difficull life of a mother.
      XD

    • @AleDeEurope lol

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