Tell me some hilarious one liner jokes?

To cheer me up 😩


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Relationships are just like algebra. You always look at your X and try to figure out Y.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.

    😂😂😂

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What Guys Said 20

  • Roses are red.. bitter anons are pink.. bitter anons are blue.. I'm not very poetic but I'd sure like to fuck you.

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  • My German girlfriend likes to rate my sexual performance on a 1-10 scale, and last night I was doing pretty well because I put it in her ass and she screamed nine nine nine nine nine!

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  • A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

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  • Sometimes when i close my eyes , I can't see.

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  • What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?

    Nothing, you've already told her twice.

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  • Are you a Nice girl or Good girl?: NICE girls blush when they watch porn, GOOD girls smile cause they know they can do better. @smmyskittles something tells me your a good girl 😉

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  • What is a mans idea of foreplay?

    30 minutes of begging

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  • I put the STD in stud
    Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van
    If I could be an enzyme I'd be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes

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  • One that I heard from somewhere... can't remember where:

    Seeing is important, because if you can't see, then you don't know what you are looking at.

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  • What did the tree say to the sky?

    I'm not touching you.

    Get it?

    No. You probably don't. That's okay. It's grade A stuff; not made for lesser men.

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  • Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably crap!

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  • Warning- sick sense of humor

    2 seals walk into a club
    Ouch

    Whats the best thing about having sex with twenty five year old girls?
    there's twenty of them

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  • Boy meets girl, boy gets girl's number, boi never calls gal. Gal gets sad. Lyk if u cry evrytim

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  • Strong people don't put others down. They lift them up and slam them on the ground for maximum damage.

    http://onelinefun.com

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  • What's the difference between me and my couch? My couch pulls out... HA! Goteem!

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  • whats a wombat?

    its for playing wom

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  • If Hitler were to attack Turkey from the rear end, would Greece help?

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  • I have friends. ^killme

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  • toc toc.
    yes?
    fuck you.

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  • Radio Eriwan was asked: "Is it good to sleep with an open window?"
    Radio Eriwan answered: "Generally yes, but with a woman it is better."

    What is chaos?
    Questions about the economy will not be answered.

    Are you allowed to criticise the political system?
    Generally yes, but living in your own house is better.

    Is it true, that the media are censored?
    Generally no, but we can't answer your question in details.

    Can 70 year old women have perky breasts?
    Sure. When doing push-ups.

    Is sex always dirty?
    No, only if done right.

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What Girls Said 4

  • My father has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo

    I refused to believe my road worker father was stealing from his job, but when I got home, all the signs were there.

    I don't always make oral jokes... but when I do they suck.

    A blonde, a brunette, and a red head fall off a building. Witch one hits the ground last?
    The blonde, she had to stop to ask for directions.

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  • Are you a light bulb? cu you turn me on. HOT DAMN

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  • Woah woah woah, don't talk to ur na na like dat.

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  • slow down sugar. I'm a diabetic

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