Today was possibly the worst day in quite a while.
It hit me REALLY hard, how truly useless I am.
There's no such thing as "you're not".
Honestly, I am so stupid. I'll never get a job.
I'll have no future. I hate everything about myself. I hate my family. They're not violent or abusive or anything, but they never understand what I feel and a small little kid talking to them about this kind of thing, they just laugh and ask if I'm feeling ok.
And no "treatment" will ever solve this. This is no simple matter to be solved by popping pills into me and expecting human emotions to just float away.
I'm only being realistic here aren't I?
It's making me mad how all the solution is is "treatment"."treatment treatment treatment". No. I don't feel that any "chemicals are missing from my brain". I'm only facing the reality of what I really am. I'm sorry. I just had to vent. I haven't been able to stop crying though. I start writing about myself in my diary too and the tears just naturally flow. Any ideas how to stop? It's 5 am, I should really sleep soon before they get actually wake up and realise I'm not asleep yet..
Most Helpful Guy
My dad didn't listen to that. He literally pulled me out of bed, and gave me a kick in the ass!! He said he had a job interview lined up, for a summer job, and if I didn't get the job, I should come home, pack my things and get out!! HE SEEMED SERIOUS!!
I did get the job, and looking back, I think he made sure. But he knew I needed that 'THREAT' that I thought was real!!
He never hugged me, or let me cry, or anything!! If I was crying for anything, he would just say "Stop that crying, or I will give you something to cry ABOUT!!"
Tough LOVE, but in his way, that's how he knew, from his father, and his father's father.
Sometimes, it can be useful, and motivating, and for some people, the CHALLENGE, alone, can motivate them to be better, and do what they can, even when they are unsure!!
Using that as a guide, I would say some things, to you, that maybe you won't like, but maybe they might help!! I'm old enough to be your father, but I am not, but I want you to listen, and trust me, OK?
Stop feeling sorry for yourself!! I don't know you, but I DO KNOW, that you can't be as bad as you say, feeling sorry for yourself!!
Stand up, and be confident, in YOU!! YOU are the ONLY ONE, on the WHOLE PLANET, LIKE YOU!! That, alone, is FCKING AMAZING!!
Stop complaining, and whining, and figure out what you are good at!! Yeah, you can try, and fail at different things, a DOZEN times, but maybe the NEXT THING is the ONE!! That thing that YOU do, AMAZING!!!
Thomas Edison tried for YEARS, to make a light bulb, and he kept failing, over and over!!
Did he give up, and accept it? NO!! He finally figured it out, and he said that 10,000 attempts weren't 'failures' but many ways that didn't work!!
Make YOUR life WORK!! Imagine what you want it to be, and make it happen!! It might take time, trial and error, but NOBODY is EVER 'Stupid'!!
You don't have to listen to the others, and believe what they say about you! How do they know? Maybe they are the 'Stupid' ones, not seeing what you can do, and be, and become!!2
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Most Helpful Girl
This is coming from someone who has dealt with depression. You need to change your mindset. Do you know how selfish you are being? Do you only think about yourself? Think of your family and your peers for once. Your parents work hard to get you a future, and you're not going to appreciate it and work hard? How about the friends who need you to be there for them? Do you really think you're hopeless? People work so hard for you, so you won't be. So be thankful, and work hard. Get yourself the future you need, because others have gotten half of it for you. You can soar, as long as you change your attitude. Dude, even Kim Kardashian is successful. Anyone can be successful. So stop thinking you're depressed. I'm not saying you aren't. I'm just saying you should hurry and turn yourself around, so you'll have less regrets in the future. Don't waste time crying. Use that time to prepare for your bright future, or it'll never come.0
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