Why are women so unfair to fathers when it comes to picking who will be in the delivery room?

i am just wondering why women just completely disregard a mans feelings when it is time to pick who is in the delivery room like say the mother wants her mom there and the father wants his mom there but the mother just tells him no and just has her mom there without even taking into account the fathers feelings at all and every one i ask say it is the mothers day and experience and she can share it with who ever she wants and can share it with her family all she wants but they seem to forget it is the fathers experience too and maybe he wants to share it with his family to like the mother can but he cannot due to unfair laws
what do you people think should father have a 50% in who is in the delivery room (under the assumption the mother and father are in a happy relationship together)


0|1
10|5

Most Helpful Girl

  • When I give birth in the far future the only person in I'll be leaving in the room would be my husband ain't none of our mothers coming in. We will film the brith and they can watch it in their own time. However if the mother is bringing in her mom I think the father should be aloud bring in his.

    0|1
    0|0
    • but some women just tell the father no and then bring her mother in anyway paying no mind to his feelings i find it unfair i mean at least talk about it and decided together

    • Show All
    • i am kind of new to this site so i have no idea how that works sorry

    • i just see if i did not weird you out or anything if i did i am truly sorry i was just trying to be nice and maybe make a friend as you never know unless you give it a chance right

What Guys Said 5

  • It is up to the woman having the baby. Her emotional well being is paramount at this time.
    Obviously the baby's mother has to be there. The father should be there also. Beyond that, it is strictly up to the woman who is going through the birth.
    It makes sense that she would want her mother there since her mother has "been there" for her for many, many years. Her mother-in-law? Nah. Usually there is not great bond there.

    4|0
    0|0
    • but why if the women is allowed to share the birth of her baby with her mother but the father cannot share it with his mother if it is both the mother and fathers baby so it should be their experience so they should both be able to share it with their family and not just the mother of the baby being able to share

    • I already explained that. When the father is the one giving the birth, he gets to decide.

    • but why if the baby is both the mothers and the fathers

  • Personally, I don't think any of the grandparents should be there. I consider it very disruptive for the couple and their common experience of giving birth to THEIR child. I believe that it should be only the mother (obviously) and the father. That's it. No grandma, no grandpas, no best friend, no aunt, no cousin... just the mom and the dad and the baby. The baby's grandmas and grandpas will all eventually get the chance to see and visit the baby. But THIS should not be the moment for them. This should be an exclusive and solemn moment for the parents and their child (once it is born).

    I also think it's very important for both parties (husband and wife) to discuss these kind of things several months in advance. There should not be any fights or misunderstandings once the woman goes into labor. I will certainly talk about this kind of stuff with my girlfriend early on. I do not want any third parties in the delivery room. In fact, I do not want any third parties at all to visit our baby during the first week. I believe this time should be left to the couple and their new child. I would be very annoyed if my parents tried to visit us during that first week (I don't think they would however because they're very respectful about these things). After the first week, it becomes appropriate to invite the grandparents and let them see the baby. After 2-3 weeks, it becomes appropriate to show the baby to your close friends and/or extended family members. This also reduces the stress for the baby.

    0|0
    0|0
    • i completely agree with you

  • under the assumption that they are in a happy relationship i think that both should be able to choose who is there except if the the people to be there have in the past been hostile to the woman giving birth.

    0|0
    0|0
    • so what do you think should happy if the father dose not want the women mother in the room but she does it anyway as people seem to think it is all her call making the birth of the fathers child a day of being uncomfortable and resent not joy cuz he got no say what do you think of that

    • Show All
    • yeah thats terrible, that such inequalities can exist in a world today is just savage.

    • i agree

  • Yeah, the farther should be there too.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Show All
    • i agree it should be fair and equal

  • Yes,

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 9

  • That would be fair, however, I believe the mother's emotional well being takes priority. If her mother-in-law's presence is going to distract her or stress her out, then that's what matters. The only people who should be in that birthing room are people who are going to calm and nurture the mother while she's in labor.

    0|0
    0|0
    • what if the not having the mother in law in there stress out the father making him see the day of his child's birth as a day of resent and unfairness as the mother got to share the birth with her family but he did not get to share it with his

    • The mother's stress level takes priority as she is pushing a human being out of her body. The father and everyone else's job is to help her.

    • so then the father should be able to say no i do not want your mother in the room and women has to respect that as it is baby to and the mother in law should not be there

  • Absolutely not, it's her choice. Who wants uninvited spectators to come see you shit yourself, scream and bleed profusely from your vagina? It's a very important the mother isn't put under any unnecessary stress. Invite them to wait in the hospital but not into the room if she's not happy with it.

    2|0
    0|0
    • but it is the fathers family so why is the mothers family more important

    • Show All
    • I told you, I'm not explaining it again. It's really fucking simple.

    • so the mother can do what she wants even if that would make the father uncomfortable and he may not be able to support the mother as he would not like his mother in law so making is uncomfortable for the mother too

  • I would assume that it's because sometimes there are just some people who you don't want to scream, bleed everywhere, shit yourself and push a 6 or so pound baby out of your vagina in front of.

    1|0
    0|0
    • but why is it fair the mother gets to share the birth with her family but the father cannot share it with his family how is that fair

  • When I have my children, I would like for my mother to be in the room in addition to the father of the baby. I wouldn't be comfortable with his mother there. It has nothing to do with trying to exclude his family. He's not the one pushing the baby out. He's not the one that will be exposed.

    0|0
    0|0
    • so what if the father says i do not want your mother in the room what then

    • Show All
    • I. would like to think that my husband would understand me wanting my mom there.

    • i am understand if you asked and he said yes but i do not understand if you asked and he said no but you had her there anyway that is what i find unfair it should be a joint decision meaning if one of you say no then that person will not be in the room (assuming the mother and father are together but if single the mother can have who she wants)

  • Meh if you've never felt pain like that or similar it's hard to understand. Personally I would want the least amount of people there that I need. If it would be anyone, it'd probably be my mother because she's a doctor and this is just (well at one point it was) her day job.
    But you're going through extreme pain and putting a lot of trauma onto your body to get a watermelon out of you. You'd want someone there that can really support you an get you through it. If your SO can't do that well or the way you like it? Talk to them and kick them out, you're having a baby lol it's not easy.
    The general rule is also that you keep family away for 3 days after a good natural birth so that everyone can recover and are ready for the flood of excited people who are gonna wear you out.

    0|0
    0|0
    • so it is fair for the mother to share the baby's birth with her family but the father cannot share it with his making the day a bitter and full of resentment plus unfairness for the father as the mother got to have her family but he could not have his how is that fair

    • Show All
    • Which is understandable, but sometimes things aren't fair and the people evolved don't have equal say. Which sucks, but it makes sense. She gets prioirity care and say for a reason

    • i get that i just think that they both should get 50 50 so if she says no then they are in the room and it should be the same with father if he says no then the they do not get to be in the room

  • the woman needs emotional support among other things and if the father can't provide that to the mother or she doesn't feel 100% comfortable with him there then he's got to go. Childbirth is about the baby's and mother's welfare.

    0|0
    0|0
    • but if the mother has the right to share it with her family the father should have the same right as it is his kid too

    • Show All
    • Again the mother needs to be comfortable in the birthing ward for the safety of the baby as well as her own.

    • i get that and i agree but i think they should talk about who is there and pick together is all

  • i think the father should be there too... its his baby too

    0|0
    0|0
    • i know that i was asking do you think the father should be able to invite his mother into the delivery room like women do with their mother for the birth

    • yeah cause the child will be her grand child (now that depends if the guy's mom is in good term with the mom to be)

    • but why does the father need consent to share the birth of his child but the women does not seems a bit unfair to me

  • Oh sweet baby jesus. Not you again. The woman can choose whomever she wants.

    3|0
    0|1
    • what is your problem and i can she you have never heard of being equal you man hater because why should the mother be able to share it with her family but the father cannot if the baby is both of theirs

    • Show All
    • oh that sounds like her she is just a big troll sometimes. she just thinks because her day was a lawyer she knows the law. sorry for her behavior but the things i am trying to say is that is should be more equal and i do understand that it may not be possible but we have to try right

    • sorry i mean her dad was a lawyer

  • Having a child isn't a public event. Just because he bought my dinner doesn't mean he can invite whomever he wants to watch me take a dump.

    0|0
    0|0
    • but he did not make the dump with you and that dump is not a child you both made and if the mother gets to share with her family and the father cannot share with his you make the day full of bitter feeling and later resentment from the father due to not being able to enjoy the birth of his child with his family like the mother can so unfair

    • Show All
    • no different, my mom first because if i need someone there thts who its going to be.. delivering a child is not a spectator event. If i don't need them there, then they won't be there just because they wanna be part of a "joyful" event. Watching a baby burst out of a vagina isn't going to inspire all of the joy you seem to want it to... it'll be the same baby in about ten minutes time. They can wait for their inspiring moment of overwhelming joy.

    • but why do you get to share it with your mother but the father cannot if it is both yours and fathers baby you both should be able to share the birth or at least not have someone their you do not want see the birth like if the father did not want his mother in law in the room the girlfriend or wife should not have her mother in there so they both get a say

Loading...