My friend committed suicide back in 2010, and im still not over it?

Anyone been in a similar situation? What does it take to get over this bullshit. I don't think what she did was selfish, but i blame myself for not being there enough, i tried my best to be there but sometimes i just simply couldn't.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Hey, I have a word for men who know when, and how, to let themselves break down and be "weak".
    That word is... "strong".

    Homework assignment for you, if you're game:

    • Grab a notebook.

    • Think about this: What, in life, do you appreciate more since tragedy struck? To what, or whom, do you give extra TLC? What parts of your younger, dumber self did you shed?

    Probably a long list.

    Write it all down. Write it in story form. Write verses that don't rhyme. Hell, even write random words that might not even make sense when you look back at them, if that's all you can muster.

    Then keep it somewhere.

    Every now and then, pull it out and look at it.

    That list, is her.
    By your side.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'll share a story of something I saw that happened when I was in the Marine Corps a little later in PM. Not about to announce it over here.

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What Girls Said 16

  • In high school, my government teacher wanted us to put together a card for a fellow classmate who was "sick" It didn't take a very long discussion for us to piece together that he attempted suicide. Another classmate said she remembered him joking about himself committing suicide and several other classmates confirmed. We all tried to get him to talk prior to his attempt but he would just say it's a joke and not to worry. We were all heartbroken. I went home crying the day.
    I don't think you ever get over the death of a friend. And that's ok. Don't blame yourself. It was her choice and she would hate seeing you blame yourself. I would know because I was suicidal in 7th grade because of being heavily bullied. Nothing people told me would've stopped me. I didn't try anything because I was too scared. I eventually stopped being suicidal because I thought I was being selfish and forced myself to get help.
    www.bandbacktogether.com/.../
    psychcentral.com/.../
    lifehacker.com/how-to-cope-when-a-loved-one-commits-suicide-1663171935

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  • A suicide is very tragic and the people around the one who commited it always feel guilty. She or he chose to take away the life given to him. Many people suffer, but they don't commit suicide. They have hopes, dreams, beliefs, they do their best to resolve their problems, and put their life in the hands of God. Sadly, you can't undo what's done. Remember her and pray for her to be well wherever she is. Have a priest mention her. Visit the grave, clean it and put flowers on it. Or talk about him/her till you feel better.

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  • I don't think it ever gets better. One of my best friends attempted suicide last year, and while she lived she left me with the guilt. She had actually had told me that she was suicidal, and I foolishly thought it would get better. I didn't really think it was as bad as it was until I got a text from her saying she'd just been released from the hospital because she'd attempted suicide. We live in different states, and I'm not sure if I can look at her when I see her next and not break down in tears.

    I think there are some deaths that you never get over. My mother never got over her best friend dying and my coach never got over his brother dying (I, being the idiot that I am, mentioned him and watched him tense up and get "The Look")

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  • I don't think anyone really get over someone dying. Especially a tragic death. And it's even worse when one blames themselves. Which by the way you shouldn't. You can't prevent something you had no idea about. im sorry for your loss OG. All I can say is be strong and hold on ☺️

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  • It's something that will always stuck with you unfortunately. My dad killed himself when I was a kid and I've never gotten over it. It does eventually get easier, but it's something that will likely always be on your mind.

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  • Maybe talk to a professional about this.

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  • It's such a twined up situation with suicide because if you believe everything happens for a reason then what's the reason for it? Maybe you need dig deeper into your child hood or life to find why you feel so responsible. Maybe you need a breakdown? Just let it happen! Talk to someone about it, write down something, going to the gym and taking care of your health helps. Actually look up Tony Robbins he will help you so much especially as a man. Good luck buddy

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  • I lost a family friend of mine to suicide. I'm not saying I'm never caught up thinking about the memories, but you have to try to continue living your life. She may not be here, but you are. And the thing that's kept me sane, is realizing that maybe they aren't here physically, but they are living their lives through you

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  • You can't blame yourself. You can't be there 24hrs a day. It will take time to adjust. Just take it easy on you. Blaming yourself only knock you down and doesn't change anything.
    Just remember her and do something, even a little thing to pay tribute to her.

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  • Oh gosh, I'm so sorry...

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  • I'm sorry to hear that sorry about your friend

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  • You really ought to consider speaking to a therapist to learn how to cope with your grief and also how to move forward.

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  • I'm so sorry to hear :(

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  • I don't think suicide is selfish. I think she was in a lot of pain and just couldn't see any other way out. I think that's a feeling that we can all relate to to a certain degree. You don't need to blame yourself because you didn't do anything wrong. She's not your responbililty. If someone had made up their mind that the only way out is death, I don't think there's anything else that someone can do.

    I'm sorry this happened :(

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  • Its not your fault, in any way.
    Getting pass something like that is hard, especially when you think about things you could have done differently, or wonder why it even happened in the first place.
    The key is understanding that nomatter what could have been done, it can't be done now. You can't go back and fix it. This makes most people feel helpless. a lot of these are scary feelings, but its a step to acceptance. Allowing it to hang over you is only harming your life.
    Getting over it isn't forgetting your friend, or what she went through. Its ok to move past it she won't be upset.

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What Guys Said 5

  • I lost my best friend in 2009 in her being murdered. Not the same thing but I wish I was there. I could of saved her life.

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  • I've attempted suicide twice.
    There wasn't anything you could have done to prevent it trust me.
    She is at peace now if that is any consolation

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    • Well thats shit dude, did you get hospitalized?

    • No, I covered it up as well.
      It was two years ago and my parents didn't find out till a few months ago when I let it slip in an arugment.

  • I'm in the same situation, personally i don't think I'll ever get over it ever. My friend died of meningitis

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  • I think people who kill themselves are brave and we're suffering. Go talk to a counsellor I did recently and I feel a weight off my shoulders

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  • To be honest I don't know if you will ever be over it honestly you may have to talk out relax we a therapist or do something that keeps you calm, I definitely can relate in some way.

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