I'm just looking for some tips on how I can feel better in my own skin. I find myself comparing my looks/personality to other girls who I think are better than me. I'm black and I'm surrounded mostly by white students, not sure if this has anything to do with it... But my confidence has dropped since I started middle school and I'm hoping to raise it back up as I enter 8th grade. Thanks 😊
Most Helpful Guy
I don't mean to be offensive, and I don't want to hurt your feelings, but why would you compare yourself to the others, that are white? I don't mean this to be in any way a NEGATIVE racial thing, but if you are black (gods, I hate that, and that we still see skin color!! But our society does, so let's work with it!!)
You ABSOLUTELY CANNOT, compare yourself to the White girls, and you shouldn't want to!! They are who they are, and you are EXTRA SPECIAL UNIQUE, being the one, among so many that are the same!!
Take some time, and google Rosa Parks, Malcom X, Martin Luther King Jr, and maybe some like Oprah, and ground yourself in YOU and your heritage!!
Build your own personal confidence, knowing about these people that came before you, and respect them, and respect yourself!!
Skin color shouldn't matter, but as long as it does, and people still see 'that', you need to be confident in THAT SKIN, and RESPECT YOURSELF, and all those that fought, before you!!
Racism will only end when we stop seeing skin color, and start seeing the person!! Be the PERSON they see, and know that there were a lot of GREAT people that would be right beside you, encouraging you, in anything that you do!1
Most Helpful Girl
Its difficult to not compare yourself to someone else, even if its the conventional advice for this. Its even more difficult to constructively compare yourself to others, but can do a great deal of help. It might take you asking yourself "why do I compare myself to this person?" "What do I think this person has that I don't?" If you envy another girl because of her style, then you could try emulating it. I'm not saying the answer is copy other people, but trying out new things like that can help you find new things that can improve your confidence, or show how tedious and not worth it some things are to emulate (perfect skin, perfect hair, perfect eyebrows, who has the time for that?). And at the end of the day, even if it is a bit negative, you could always ask "What do I have that they don't" Because the chances are that someone is comparing themselves to you, and wants to be just as pretty as you are. :) I hope this helps, middle school sucks.1