Boyfriend does not want to be in the delivery room?

hello all
i am 36 weeks pregnant but the main reason i am posting on here is my boyfriend (baby's father) just told me that he will be waiting outside the room until the baby is born then he will come into the room after the baby is cleaned up and i am holding her. It is really making me sad as i will need his support as i am having our baby and i have always though that the father of my baby would be in that room with me like all other fathers are supporting me.

so i am asking how do i convince him to be in the room and for us to meet our girl together?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • What a pussy. Tell him to man up and give his pregnant girlfriend the support she needs to give birth to HIS child

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    • i keep telling him that i need his support and i want him in the room so we meet our baby girl together and i so he is at his child's birth but he says he does not want to intrude on a very special and intimate time of mine

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    • It's okay honey I'm happy to help 😊
      And you're completely right, he doesn't deserve to his daughter on the day, he can't even be bothered to be there with you. I really feel for you, I do. I wouldn't even keep him updated, again he doesn't deserve it. I'd just let him know when your about to leave the hospital (so he can't rush up there) that his daughter is healthy but your going to stay with your mother for a bit, then don't reply after that for a while.
      After everything's done, just have a wee think about everything and see if this is the type of man you really want to be with, but don't focus on that now, you don't need the extra stress

    • thank you and i am thinking of not even telling him she is here until i am at my mothers and had time to bond with her which my be weeks but then i do not want to stop her seeing her father

What Guys Said 5

  • There is actually a sound reason for why men SHOULDN'T be in the delivery room - and it is within your own interests. You see, if a man sees the whole gruesome process, something might kick off in his brain and make him involuntarily NOT want sex with his wife ever again out of fear of making her pregnant and having her go through the whole thing again.
    You have to understand that men are not conditioned to biologically and mentally understand the process of childbirth like women do, thus they come ill-equipped to deal with it.

    This is not a guarantee of course. But it is unpredictable, just like PTSD.

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    • i like to think that will not happen to him and me and i very much need his support i do not think i will be able to relax unless he is in there with me

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    • Precisely what you have to tell him.

    • i do but he just says the same thing and he says he does not want to intrude on a such special and intimate time of mine which i find dumb as it is our special and intimate time not just mine as it is our baby

  • You have to understand, hearing their wife in pain is too much for some men. Im also sure you know, its fairly common to discharge you bowels during labour and some guys just can't handle that shit (excuse the pun lol).

    How about having your own mother in there instead?

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    • that is the thing i do not want anyone but him in there as that would make it stressful for me as i see the labor and birth as something only the mother and father of the baby should have the right to experience

  • I feel the same way. I don't want to see anybodys babies being born. Not mine or anyone elses. This whole father in the delivery room thing is a really modern idea. Used to be they didn't even let the fathers in until after the birth anyway. I feel this is a time for female bonding as only another female can really understand what your going through. Mothers, Aunts, Sisters all great for this situation, and that's how it was traditionally done.

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    • but it is not just my baby being born and i need him in there for support and it is a time for the father to bond with the baby not just the mother and for the new family to bond together

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    • yeah well if he isn't going to let your mother go, than he has to. What is he thinking? just leave you in the room by yourself?

    • i do not know or understand why he thinks he has no place in this and thinks he is intruding on a very special and intimate time

  • you dont, if he's disgusted by blood or giving birth you can do nothing about it

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    • but i would think he would want to see the birth of his daughter and no he is not disgusted or anything as he has watched videos and everything but he still does not want to be in the room

    • He doesn't need to stick his own head into her vagina. He can stay at the top part of the bed and focus on her face.

    • he's seen videos but the real thing is different iam sure everyone has seen people getting blown up or cut in half in videos but seeing it first hand is going to be much harder.

      As for being there and focusing on his wife... well not much difference really he's still in there hearing and seeing everything and perhaps he prefers not to hear or see all that.

  • Tell him to grow a set, get in there and support brah

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    • i do tell him i need him in there but he says he does not feel it is his place to be in there

    • If my girl was havin a baby, i'd be in there each their own i guess..

    • but i need him in there with me as i will not be able to relax knowing he is just outside and not with me as our baby is born

What Girls Said 5

  • He needs to set aside his own feelings and be there for you. I understand that it's hard to see someone you love in pain, not to mention all the bodily fluids and such, but I can't fathom why he would even consider making you do this yourself.

    Tell him you need him, you don't want to be in there alone, and he can stay by your head if he wishes. But abandoning you until it's all over is not an option.

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    • i tell him he needs to be in the room to support me and his daughter plus so he is at the birth of his child but he says he feels like it is not his place to intrude on such a special and intimate time of mine

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    • we did pick the name Caroline with her fathers last name but i am unsure if she should get her fathers surname now

    • Aw sweet Caroline 😍

      I wouldn't give her his last name if I were you. I mean I don't know how he is normally, or how his support has been throughout your pregnancy, but right now he's being blatantly unreliable.

  • Not a lot of guys feel comfortable. And in truth not all dads be in the delivery room. Maybe it is a bit too much for him. Some people can't handle it, and you need to respect it. I know you feel sad, but you need to be very thankful. Because you know the other problems single mothers deal with.

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    • but i am not a single mother we are still together and having this baby together and but he was the only one that was going be in the room as i see it as a special time for us as a family but it looks like i will not get that

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    • @Asker Once again, I'm very sorry this is happening. Is there somebody else that is willing to be with you when the baby comes?

    • well my mother but when i bring having her in there up to him my boyfriend says she should not in the room

  • What a wuss. He's the father so he should be in there with you, comforting you. It's the least he could do.

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    • i agree he is her father and i need his support as he is the only one i want in there

  • If he's feeling like he'll be grossed out he can always just stay at the top end of the bed, away from the baby being forced out of you.

    I'd be very upset and hurt if my partner told me that, I would totally expect him to be there for me. It's your baby, both of yours. You made it together and with his support you can bring her into he world together.

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    • i have told him over and over i need his support but he just says that he feels like it is not his place to be in there with me and i do not know why he says that

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    • I somehow doubt that.

    • what do you mean

  • maybe he's scared of blood and stuffs but i personally think that a man should be present in delivery room

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    • same here but he says he does not want to intrude on a very special and intimate time of mine

    • tell him it concerns him too

    • i do but he says he feels like he has no place in the room for the birth and that it feels like he is intruding on a very special and intimate time that he thinks he has no place in

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