Do you think its true that whoever cares the least in a relationship has more power?

Do you think its true that whoever cares the least in a relationship has more power?

  • Yes it's true
    69% (40)78% (29)73% (69)Vote
  • No it is not true
    31% (18)22% (8)27% (26)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yeah, because they have nothing to lose as they are not emotionally invested. The more emotionally invested you are, the more vulnerable you are. The more vulnerable you are, the less power you have.

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    • 3mo

      Are you in a relationship now?

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    • 3mo

      so what do you think, who has more power? :P

    • 3mo

      Hmm... it varies. Sometimes I have more power and sometimes he does.
      But I think that's a good balance for us, as in certain situations one of us has more experience than the other or something.
      But power is not necessarily something we hold over one another.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Thanks for A2A!
    Didn't vote because it depends. Take this as analogy:
    thecornishlife.co.uk/.../...o-20141021181414-1.jpg
    Ultimately, it's the same thing. It is just a matter of perception. People think that the person who didn't care has more power because he had nothing to lose while the other person who invested a lot will be severely upset because of misfortune. This is not true at all. That "don't care" person didn't lose anything? No. He lost an amazing partner. While that other person is in fact, fortunate to lose a jerk like him. Now this person can move on and invest in a better person who would really reciprocate in the relationship.

    Okay, some people might say that "don't care" person had more power as he ended the relationship and the another was always vulnerable, but it's not always true either. It maybe true that the caring person ended it herself as she was done trying? And you cannot deny the fact that the caring person will certainly find another one while that "don't care" person has to change himself eventually in order to have a stabilised relationship.

    So, who had the power? You already know at this point.

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What Girls Said 22

  • No.

    I'm looking into a possibility and I care less.
    * * How often does a girl get to say that? * *

    I genuinely like the guy but not as into him as he is me. Yet, I don't hold the power. Dude knows he wears the pants when it comes down to it. ;P

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    • 3mo

      In a meaningful sense, or just in a play sense?

    • 3mo

      @redeyemindtricks - For the 'power' thing? Bit of both. He encourages my brat behavior from time to time because it amuses him. Yet, he can rein me in when need be.
      ...
      ...

      The interest thing? That's serious. He's more into me than I am into him.
      I do like him, but I'm not willing to 'invest' myself.
      Letting it happen on it's own to see if it's just fun or if it has potential to be serious.

    • 3mo

      Yeah, see, it kinda sounds like you *do* hold more power here (look at what you just wrote yourself, about being unwilling to "invest"). The difference is that you aren't *wielding* that power... but you have it.

      I think, honestly, that the ONLY way for the more invested person to hold power is if she/he is tirelessly willing to use that investment to manipulate the shit out of the other person.

  • IF you have enough self respect, you won't stick around with someone who doesn't care as much as you do, giving them ZERO power.

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  • hmm that's a good question, you know to some degree I'm going to say yes because the other person who is more invested would be doing everything they can to keep interest going and get the other persons attention, I mean I would hope the person would get frustrated and throw in the towel and say you know what I'm done with these games, but on the other hand no they aren't more in power because they aren't giving themselves any favors they are only making themselves look like jerks who have cold heart.

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  • Generally speaking yeah. But he/she didn't want to deal with that sort of emotion/treatment, they'd walk away from the relationship entirely.

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  • Err I want to say no, but my recent relationship that I ended everything was about me (or at least I felt like it), he always wanted to make me happy and keep me that way, he love/s me very much so everything he did for me he meant it. But I didn't care or take it seriously, he's always chasing me and its sort of pushing me away even more. So I guess, you could say I had the power? But I dont want to sound like a bitch about it, because that wasn't my intention.

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  • maybe (:

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  • I'd say so, yeah.

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    • 3mo

      so what do you think, who has more power in your relationship?

    • 3mo

      Oh, definitely him. Dude just brushes everything off, I'm pretty sure he doesn't have the energy to care too much about stuff :P

  • Of course... but if they're a good person they won't abuse it.

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  • Yes but I think this type of people have been hurt in the past. So they are like doing it for 'protection or shield'

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  • i think its true... the one who cares less knows that the other one is emotionally dependent

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  • I guess so

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  • Yeah, I think so.

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    • 3mo

      so what do you think, who has more power in your relationship?

  • Generally true, yes.

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    • 3mo

      so what do you think, who has more power in your relationship?

    • 3mo

      I think we both have power-but sometimes I get apologies during 'arguments' that I probably shouldn't.

  • Yes but their also the least happiest and shouldn't be wasting the other persons time.

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  • Any relationship that is based on power or has anything to do with power is not a relationship at all

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  • Yes of course

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  • Healthy relationships aren't about who has more power over the other. Stop watching Sex and the City.

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    • 3mo

      I'm not...

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    • 3mo

      I hate to say it but, they are either idiots, watch Sex and the City, or have never been in a healthy relationship. Given the nature of this website, at least two of those statements is true for the majority of the userbase.

    • 3mo

      Awesome

  • I think that's true only in relationships where one partner likes his/her partner more than the other way around.

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  • Yeah. I agree

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  • Its true

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  • Yes it's true bcs he or she controls the feelings of the more caring partner

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  • Yes, absolutely.

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What Guys Said 18

  • I hate to admit this, but yeah it's true and I've seen it work for me inadvertently. Every relationship of mine that ended up actually working out and lasting more than a month, where when I was with girls that I was more unsure about early on and not madly in love with day one. I do feel that this changed my behavior and in some indirect way gave me the power in the relationship that lead to my ultimate success.

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  • The strongest negotiating position is always being able to walk away and mean it.
    That only assumes the other person actually cares though.

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  • Yeah, that and whoever has the best alternatives if you were to break up.

    The person who cares more will have less leverage and will probably put more effort into pleasing the other as well as make more compromises.

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  • I don't think it's true. The moment someone starts playing games like that or isn't "emotionally available", I'm out.

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  • lol no, being an insensitive sack of shit is not gonna bring you anywhere.

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  • It's a sad truth I've known guys that treat women like shit but they some how feel like he cares for them even when they find out he's with multiple girls, and some guys will try to emulate that behaviour just to experience being with a girl, hence the reason we have so many douche bags running around. #thanksfeminism

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  • They have no power... If you're not in the mix, you're stopping anything powerful from ever happening...

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  • Its true, if one want to think of a relationship in terms of a power struggle (which I don't )

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  • If you don't care about someone, don't be in a relationship with them.
    It beats the point of having a relationship.

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    • 3mo

      it's not that you don't care, but you don't care about your partner as much as your partner cares about you, thats what we are talking about here

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    • 3mo

      relationships work like that quite often lol

    • 3mo

      Not for long.

  • The most powerful negotiating stance in a relationship is the ability to walk away and mean it.

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  • Yes it's true

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  • Yes, because they have less to lose if there is a break up. It's important to not give a crap.

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  • Based on experience, yes. The girl struggles to get my attention because of it.

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  • Not always but in most cases yes

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  • Yeah because it doesn't matter to the one who cares the least, the consequences aren't felt.

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  • Yup, it's true.

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  • Yes that is correct man.

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  • I think who ever leaves the relationship first has the real power, you can be in a relationship with an insensitive fuck but if you have the balls to get up and walk away from that shit then ultimately you're the one with the power.

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