Should I let go of college or the baby? Which one is important more than the other?

Being pregnant at 19 isn't as easy as i thought it'd be. I've been thinking about my situation and i got that i should choose between these two! Let go of the baby for college or say goodbye to college and stay home for the baby. The baby's father promised me that if i choose to stay home he'll support us and we won't need anything, if i choose college and get rid of the baby i will hate myself for it for the rest of my life. Is it worth it? He asked me to think about it and take my decision and then tell him but i can't think alone so.

  • College life
    27% (10)61% (14)40% (24)Vote
  • Your baby
    73% (27)39% (9)60% (36)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • College is your future, it opens up careers that you will need later in life to make a living, and you can always make another baby down the road.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I know I'm the minority here but you're sooo young, having a baby will change your life. You more than likely won't be able to attend college even after the baby is born, once you have a baby your life isn't yours anymore it's your child's life. I've got a toddler and child care is so expensive that I can't work can't go to school. Whose going to watch my child for free every day all day while I'm either working or attending school? My Moma is sick and can't watch my child all my family and friends work plus I'm getting a divorce. It is really hard. I'm not saying give your baby up but are you really ready for this? And sister men don't always stick around or have your best interest at heart. Think long and hard about this. Children are wonderful yes but also lots of hard work. I live for my child I do but eventually I'm going to try to better myself for my child but for now I'm stuck. It's hard. It really is. I'll be praying for you and my best wishes to you which ever you choose to do.

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What Guys Said 6

  • can't you go to college and have your baby?

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    • I can but i guess it's not that easy, right?

    • Ya will be harder with a baby, but might be worth it, depending on the degree you get. You could also wait a few years to go to school, so long as you don't get pregnant again in tha ttime.

  • Why not both? Your parents can take care of the baby while you're going to college

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    • They have their jobs too

  • Pay for daycare?

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  • Your baby you could do dome online college it isn't gonna come for 9 months

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  • Why on earth would you ask other people what to do? Can't you think or decide for yourself?

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  • If you have a good relationship with the father and you want to stay together and he's cool with helping, then I'd say go with the baby. You said yourself that you'll hate yourself forever if you choose not to. That's a long time. You can always go back to school later if you want. Good luck!

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What Girls Said 20

  • You don't have to do either. Go to college and still have the baby. There are plenty of colleges that offer daycare services while you focus on your education. To give up either if you are not willing to pay the emotional, mental and psychological consequences of not have them. College is difficult for most people, and for some having a child can be a bit easier. But everybody is not the same. Both are challenging life changing circumstances.

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  • I'm not all for letting go of either. *Usually* people who wait to go to college, don't go.

    - So, if you postpone it, you might not ever go. That you'd regret.

    However, letting go of your baby? I would never encourage that. That's your baby. I mean, for me, that's a huge thing.

    - - It IS hard, but you CAN do both. If he really wants to support you and your child, the best thing he can do is try to support you while you go through college.

    * Do you have grandparents? They usually love baby sitting. lol, mine spend every second they can with my cousins (5 and 2, I think).

    They babysit them everyday while my aunt and uncle work (week days).

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  • If there was a way to still get your degree (night school after the father comes home from work?) then that might be an option too. You said you'd hate yourself for giving up your baby so I think you answered your own question. Working on a degree seems like a good plan in case the father doesn't come through and you have to get yourself a job. You'll do better with a college degree.

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  • Let go of college.

    A human life is far more important and like you said, you say you would hate yourself if you got rid of the baby. Besides, the baby's father says he'll support you and you won't need anything anyway. Even if college is important and you do like going there, it is surely not worth getting rid of a human life for.

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  • Your child. There is soooo much help available to parents out there when it comes to education. And your kid is something you never get back. You don't even realize how much you bond with your child during pregnancy until they are taken away from you.

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    • I feel bad

    • Well it's definitely a choice you have to make, but if it were me I would always choose my kids. In fact I have and its been hard, but the joy and happiness they bring is unreal. There is nothing like it.

  • nothing is more important or as pivotal in your life as your college education, it will quite literally make you or break you, but that doesn't mean that you have to give up your baby, you or your family can find a way, i'm sure even your parents would understand and try to help you have both, it will be much harder but if you really care both of them then i'm sure you'll succeed

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    • Everyone's voting that i should let go of the baby for college in the poll.

    • only you can decide that, but i'm sure you'll find a way :)

  • College is important. Can you work with both? It's not going to be easy, but that education is necessary in many places.

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  • Keep your baby. You can always go back to college when the baby is a little older if it is too much for you to do both right now.

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  • You can have both... It will just take some flexibility, and you may have to put off college for a few years. You'll likely regret giving up the baby more.

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  • Can't you keep the baby and still be in college? Or just postpone college at least?

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    • I can but it's not that easy

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    • My parents have their jobs and my boyfriend's parents are pretty far from us and i can't ask my friends of course because they are busy with their lives. It just me and him and the decision that i should take

    • I still think you can do both though. Pay someone to babysit. Ask help from the dad since he said he's willing to support you. Not an easy decision to keep both but you won't regret it! It'll only be hard during the early couple years, but it'll all pay off.

  • How old is the dad? You could go on certain schedules for college by the way. They have 2 and 3 day college weeks where I live.

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  • You can go to college and have the baby... It will be more difficult on you that's for sure.
    I finished college while having 2 kids do its not impossible to do.

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  • Choose your baby if you'll hate yourself otherwise.

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    • My boyfriend said i will hate myself for letting go of the baby if i did. I really hate to choose between these two

    • He doesn't know what'll make you hate yourself. What are you more scared of losing?

  • The answer is obvious, isn't it?

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    • I shouldn't leave college and just get an abortion?

    • Why do I bother to such stupidity?

  • You can do both but if not then keep the baby. You can always go back to college later.

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  • You can do both It won't be easy but its possible. Have you talked to your parents to get their advice, it doesn't matter if you are 19 or 25 being pregnant while trying to work on yourself is never easy

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    • Who can i do both when I'm just 19 years old? This is a huge pressure on me.
      But can you do both?

    • Maybe try online classes

  • You will be able to do both

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  • From a young Mother to another...(got pregnant at 22), I had to do the same thing (put my life on hold) to take care of my baby. It was the best decision I ever made. I know I started back College a little late (late 20s) but I'm about to graduate and couldn't ask for better (just turned 30).
    Wouldn't have it any other way.

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    • Was that easy?

    • Stressful. Life changing. Hard. At the same time a test of my maturity and patience. I learned to love in a way I never knew was possible. It was beautiful and a learning experience.
      One a child is born you come second. All of the "I wants" becomes selfish thoughts. It is a sacrifice.
      But you're still young enough to eventually go back to school and get ur life together like I did. It's only the beginning not the end.

    • *Once a child is born

  • There are a lot of options for people in your situation. You don't necessarily have to get rid of your baby to go to college. If you have family who can take care of your child while you are getting your degree that would be a good option. Being completely dependent on the father is almost never a good option. You have to plan for the long term, and a college degree will help you take care of your child long-term.

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    • He's asking me to stay at home for the baby and also told me that i will regret letting go of the baby if i did. This is confusing and i feel bad for some reason.

    • Well in the end it isn't his decision. He is asking you to sacrifice your future so that he can feel better. The fact that he is encouraging you to choose between your future and your child is a sign that he is not the most reliable person to invest you and your child's lives in. You can have both a college education and a family other people have done it.

  • both. life is not easy. try to get as much support as you can. best

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    • cong. on your first baby. you have our support here :)
      be a happy, healthy mom for your baby. keep us posted.
      how many weeks are you?

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    • best of luck to you. i am here for awhile and if you need anything...

    • Aww thank you so much you're really sweet

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