Have you ever felt the urge to start working really hard and become successful because of someone else?

More like because of someone who has hurt you.

Updates:
3mo I didn't mean change for others. I meant the hurt as an way for you to achieve the goals you had for yourself.

So if you wanted to be a doctor but you were being lazy and then you get that heartbreak and suddenly that pushes you to achieve your goal

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Technically yes... but as time went on I stopped caring and did it for me.

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What Guys Said 16

  • MANY people respond to disappointment in their personal lives by 'throwing' themselves into their work or studies, and I'm sure many of them would look back later and say that was a turning point in their success, in terms of money and status.

    But I also think they simply neglect to clear up the emotional issues involved and therefore the emotional pain ages it difficult for them to ever achieve happiness in their lives. Often they are suspicious of their s. O. And don't ever connect, really emotionally.

    Money ad success don't bring happiness... that's not some urban legend.

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  • Yes, pain can be a very good motivation and life changing.

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  • I've never felt that type of motivation from emotional hurt, but I have felt motivated by other means.

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  • I was in love with a friend of mine a year or two ago, and knew she didn't feel the same way and that it didn't matter anyway because of my situation. That helped motivate me to lose 25 pounds and get in the best shape of my life, but when my situation didn't improve, I ended up gaining it all back, but at least I'm not so hung up on my friend anymore.

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  • Not really , I don't give a fuck about what people is doing or having , god bless him I don't care , I work hard for my self satisfaction that's it

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  • lol.. no

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  • Absolutely! If anything, that's the perfect place to focus your thoughts! It's conservative as hell, and you'll feel good about it at the end of the day. It's exactly what I do and I'm now a bit of an optimist

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  • Not really no.

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    • 3mo

      My success and my drive come from me alone, I've never really felt the need or urge to work really hard at something because of someone else success.

      I've always worked really hard for what I want in life and that's not going to change any time soon.

    • 3mo

      That's not what I meant with my question but I see :)

    • 3mo

      You might try saying what you mean next time then so it's more clear for us lol.

      And of course ^^

  • LOL i know how you feel but dya know what there is nothing wrong with wanting to get on but its also as important to not let envy strip you of your identity concentrate on you but have goals by all means!

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    • 3mo

      It's not envy :p

      But more to do with concentrating on me as you said.

    • 3mo

      Well in this world of social media people have never been more informed on others, but people are uniuqe and its a fine line between sharing everything and keeping a bit back just for you

  • it happens to some people.

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  • Nope. Never.

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  • Yes.

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  • Just escaping from the loneliness

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  • No If i want succes, start working hard.

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  • The question got unnecessarily serious right after the description.

    I'm gonna say no I'd want to do it for my own welfare no one is gonna work hard for me. Unless it's someone that loves you.

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  • Yes, very much almost as if I was competing against her new boyfriend

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What Girls Said 9

  • OMG that's me RN I don't want to be mediocre no more and gain more knowledge and power💪🏽 I want to bring the old me back, the teachers' pet in HS😭 I was smart back then ugh.
    But I ain't quitting I will be running for Tunisia's presidency in 2030's 😂
    You never fail until you stop trying 💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽

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  • 'start working really hard'

    HAH

    you lost me there. I have never felt the urge to 'start working really hard'

    what even is that?

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    • 3mo

      read the update perhaps

    • 3mo

      Yeah same reply.

      I mean, I'm working harder this year than I ever have, but I'm still being told that I'm not good enough. So screw it.

      I'm not good enough and I do nothing right.

      So why try?

  • Eh. No I haven't felt that urge even though maybe I should? I don't feel the need to be better than anyone else. Just the best that I myself can be. There have been folks that have hurt me unjustly but I call them on their bullshit and that's usually enough. If I'm real pissed and feeling energetic I'll plot some revenge

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    • 3mo

      It's not in the sense better than anyone else but more about yourself. That certain heartbreak or whatever you want to call it pushes you to give your best in life. That's what I meant.

    • 3mo

      I get you. I can't say that I've felt that particular motivation before

  • Yes. I used the energy in feeling sad and depressed, and kind of turned that into energy that made me start working really hard.
    It's all about using that energy.

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  • I've felt the urge but never actually attempted because I'm lazy and that's not my thing. This guy who likes me is really athletic and I've never been in shape in my life and so I was kind of intimidated by that but then I was like nah I hate sports and anything that involves moving my body I'm good.

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  • Working hard does not make you rich. Nobody is going to reward you bountifully because you work hard. Forget that approach.

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  • No not really the only thing I got is competitive with my cussin

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  • Yes, and I did. I was in love with a guy who cheated on me with girls that were extremely attractive. It made me feel like complete s***. I felt ugly, worthless, etc. The fact that I was a college grad and already successful didn't matter. Like I could never compete with the girls who was seeing behind my back. I left him of course. Then became obsessed with my appearance. I spent hours at the gym, watched countless videos of hair and makeup tutorials on YouTube, spend tons of money on trendy clothes and shoes, and got a new job making 3x what I was before. I'm now engaged and the guy that cheated on me sent me a friend request on Facebook last year. I pondered whether I should accept it or not... I eventually did. Mainly because I forgave him and didn't want to hold a grudge. But also because, I'll admit, I wanted him to see me now. And he told me how beautiful I was, how proud he is of me, yada yada yada. He then asked if we could get together and talk. I said no. And it felt great.

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    • 3mo

      Would you have felt any worse if he cheated on girls uglier than you?

    • 3mo

      @Toad-1 hmmmm, I'm not sure really lol. All I know is my self esteem plummeted after seeing the girls he was with. And I was never very insecure before that happened.

  • Yes, definitely, I felt at the time that there was nothing I could do to make this guy desire a relationship with me, that he was so high above me, I would never be good enough, even though he has a paralyzed arm and is very short... and clearly wasn't a kind person, at least he wasn't kind to me. It was awful because I REALLY liked him. I worked really hard, mainly because it was a distraction, I was afraid to take time off work, maxed my vacation and worked on the weekend too, the pain of rejection was too much, I didn’t want to be thinking about anything but work.

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