How to poop silent?

This is a serious question guys. I have to drop a huge one and I know it will sound like an animal dying.

Problem is, my flat mate's room is right next to the toilet and she keeps her door wide open.

Before you say "try coughing" I cannot cough that long and loud. It's physically impossible.

Guys, if you wanna save a life and go to heaven now's your chance, I can't hold it much longer.

#WhereWillYouBeWhenDiarrheaStrikes

How to poop silent?
Question number 2 (pun unintended): Ladies, would you still be into a guy even after you heard his animalistic nature in the toilet?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • There are a few options here, you could turn on the shower, or you could sit just on the border so the poo when it comes out instead of just falling it'd slide down, or you can make a base of toilet paper inside the loo though if it's too big it might still sound a bit, this one is more for pee, and I still would be into the guy, we're all humans

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Maybe run the sink or shower.

    If your shower head has adjustable spray settings , put it on the loudest ine.

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What Girls Said 21

  • Turn the water on and if she heard it then no big deal lol
    Yes pooping is human so ofc I'd still be friends

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  • Hahahaha! Just put toilet paper in first. A lot of it. Then do your business. :]

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  • Do you have a hair dryer in the bathroom? Try to turn that on that maybe that will drown out the sound?

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    • 3mo

      It wouldn't bother me if I heard a dude make those sounds since I know it's something you can't help.

  • Lol@this question
    0. o the fuck yo lol
    I'll awesome the second question
    No I'll lose interest right away lol

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  • Play loud music

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  • Something that works wonders for me (ummm, for my brother, because girls don't poop) : put toilet paper inside the WC, at the surface of the water. This way, when you do it, there will be no sound.

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  • Put some loo roll in the toilet before you use it and it will stop the splash sound. If thats not enough then maybe turn the shower on while you go.

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  • through toilet paper inside the toilet. I do this a lot of times. And if you want to get rid of the smell fast flush the water pooping not after cleaning your ass

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  • Turn on the shower, lol your question made se laugh.

    And yes I still would be.

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  • Lmaooo yes I would! I'd probably ask him if he need water or a pep talk lol. And maybe try running the tap or catching the fecal matter in your hands with tipi. Before it drops lol

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  • Scream the whole time.

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  • go to 7-11

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  • I laughed so hard

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  • Priceless question 😂

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  • You can maybe try to turn on the faucet to dull the sounds.

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  • Pretend you're taking a shower.

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  • cushion the blow with toilet paper xD oldest trick in the book

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  • poop with door closed

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  • Put toilet paper on the water

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  • I hate how the toilet water slashes up my butthole

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  • Hahaha yes my boyfriend lets it go and I just laugh 😂 But in all seriousness, turn on the shower! Maybe it'll drown it out!

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    • 3mo

      The toilet is separate from the shower 🙊

    • 3mo

      Duck walk over and do it! It's the only option!

What Guys Said 15

  • just go we all poop even girls man up and go.
    you live together shit happens like this if you do it first it mite make her more comfortable when she needs to go.
    you could be helping her out.

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    • 3mo

      I love how you think. Making the world a better place, one poop at a time.

    • 3mo

      it's the only way.

      im sure it won't be as bad as my friend that calls you to get more paper if it's low or run out when she in there or takes you with her if you are out somewhere because she afraid or scared to go it alone.

  • Poop with pride man!!! Shell find it hot and be like a man was just in there. Proud of his shit xD

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  • There's no way out. You're just going to have to let it all out...
    http://i.imgur.com/jwlH9IS.jpg

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  • try truing on the shower or something

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  • You can't poop silent no matter how hard you try, turn the shower on and a radio. If you can't do that then be like a bear and take it to the woods😂😂

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  • How would anyone else knows I'm a regular pooper?

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  • You live together, if she says anything tell her to fucking deal.

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  • OMG, laughing so hard that my sides hurt

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  • This question is not for the internet and is tmi what the fuck is wrong with you nobody needs to hear that shit

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  • Play music

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  • Hahaha 😂
    Use your hand to stop it going in

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  • Put up a silencer up your ass.

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  • give her earplugs

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  • Put on some music with a lot of base.😂😂😂

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  • flush the toilet then shit as fast as u can, then flush again when finished.

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