Am I gay because I was aroused from being molested?

I was molested by my stepfather as a teenager. I hated it, but I became aroused sometimes during the rapes. As an adult, I'm mainly attracted to women, but I have occasional gay thoughts.

Am I gay?

Second question, not in the poll: should I tell my girlfriend about what happened?

  • Yes you're gay
  • No you're not gay
  • Not sure
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Most Helpful Girl

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What Girls Said 3

  • Okay so I think you're probably bisexual. Bisexuality has a spectrum which means you can be attracted dominantly by one sex and just a little bit to the other. For example I am attracted to men but I too have lesbian thoughts sometimes. It's a spectrum so I believe fewer people than they think are actually either completely straight or completely gay.

    I'm very sorry about what happened with you and I hope you're doing well now. Your gay thoughts may be linked to the assaults, a type of trauma maybe? Being aroused can be linked to the situation instead of the sex if the person.

    I think you should definitely tell your girlfriend if you are close to her and trust her because that will only make things easier for you, you will get support from her and that is very comforting. I'm sure you are a very strong and brave man but everyone needs that support, a person they can trust.

    • Oh by situation it sounds like I said you enjoyed the rape THAT NOT WHAT I MEAN T AT ALL I'm sorry. What I meant was that the way the body responds has nothing to do with what you're feeling in your head. It automatically responds to the situation. It happens in many rape cases I've read about

  • No you are not gay. Your rape has nothing to do with your sexual orientation. A body will eventually and naturally become aroused in any sexual situation, even one as horrible as rape. Just because you as a man had an erection or a woman being wet if that was the case doesn't change whether you are straight or gay.

  • It doesn't mean you are gay. It's very normal to get aroused during rape. You're body can't tell the difference between arousal and fear. It's normal for straight guys to have gay thoughts sometimes. If you trust your girlfriend enough to tell her then tell her about it if you want to.


What Guys Said 3

  • Opening up is not a wrong thing, it's a brave thing to do.

    • In addition, don't open up to the wrong people.

      So in case you don't trust your girlfriend a 100% and think she can accept it, don't go for it.

  • Yes you're gay or maybe bi

  • Not gay and yeah you could tell her if you trust her, she may understand and feel sorry for you