I'm specifically talking about children who were abused as children and once older specifically look for abusive relationships. Not anyone who started in a nice relationship that went bad and stayed hoping for it to get better, but someone who was abused as a child and wants to be in an abusive relationship.
I'm more interested in studies, articles, and educated opinions as opposed to personal opinions or thoughts on the subject. Listing sources is extremely encouraged.
Most Helpful Girl
In my experience, it's what they are used too. You can feel comfortable with bad situations too. When I was going through abuse in a relationship, I was almost addicted to my sadness. It felt so comfortable because it was what I was accustomed too, even though it was a negative emotion, I still craved the feeling because it felt like home. Also I think they want acceptance. The abusive person I dated is very similar to my father, who has never accepted me or changed his narcissistic ways for his family. Going into that relationship, I thought I could get it right this time. I thought I could save them from themselves and become accepted by a person who rejects everything. I wanted a second chance, but I definitely learned my lesson. I think I was also drawn to the nostalgia of it, as a kid I always thought the abuse was normal as well, I see it negatively now but at the time I didn't see it this way. I would just believe his words but not his actions because he's my father. Witnessing and experiencing abuse was my childhood, which is the time that shapes you, so of course it affects your future. Also people that are abused usually feel like they deserve it and they need to stay with someone like that. They are traumatized. I think eventually (at least for me) when/if they practice self-love/acceptance that they can break free from this and realize that they deserve much better.0