Make a story regarding this post on texts from last night, funniest gets MHO?

Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/Texts-From-Best-Nights.html


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Most Helpful Girl

  • "Aye man! Come join us." My friends beckon me over when I walk into the party. Shitty trap music thumps loudly from the "DJ" and his stereos while people grind and make out and smoke weed.

    The smoke of this dank kush fills the room with a sickly sweet aroma, layering the air around us in a heavy fog, giving everyone in here a small high. I join my two friends, Donald and George.

    "Whats up guys?" I ask, grabbing the beer George extends to me.
    I take a sip and watch all of these ratchet hoes attempt to flirt while drunkingly trying to keep their balance against whatever unlucky- or lucky depending on how you look at it- guy they have trapped in their predator-like attempts.

    Donald speaks up first, "You got here late so almost all of the hotties are taken and hooking up already. Besides that there's been two fights."

    George says, "Yea, I filmed it so you could see. Both fights happened consecutively and took about 9:11."

    As I watch the fights on Georges phone, I drink my beer. After getting bored i decide [stupidly] to do some shots. Our "DJ" continues playing trap music that makes me want to shoot myself, and I get black out drunk.

    Shot after shot after shot while hoe after hoe hits on me. Donald wouldn't talk to any of the Mexicans, and George kept denying he slept with any of the girls there.

    The three of us played strip beer pong with a few girls, and being in my drunk state ended up losing the most. Down to my simpsons boxers.

    After that fun game and drinking some more beer, we played truth or dare. I of course chose dare.

    George said, "Wear this top hat and run around outside asking people if you look like you could be on the penny."
    I thought the dare was idiotic.

    "Fine." I said and left, scaring people and almost getting punched in the face twice.

    I ran back to Donald an[d George and sighed.

    After a few more turns, Donald and I made a 1,000 dollar bet that George won't go up to one of the hot girls and grab her breasts from behind- as a dare.

    Surprisingly, he did it and I won.

    When gloating to Donald about my small loan of 1,000 dollars, I continued to drink while Donald helped George with his broken nose.

    The next thing I know I'm waking up on the floor with more than 1,000 dollars, a top hat and stripped to my boxers.

    I have to get work to some wall Donald wants me to help build later today. Sigh.

    The end.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • What the fuck man XD

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What Girls Said 1

  • I awoke from a nap I didn't know I had taken, my blood pounding in my temples and sending me reeling backwards when I tried to sit up too quickly. I clutched my forehead in pain and took deep breaths. Something large slid to the floor and hit my crossed legs. I picked it up and realized that a fancy top hat sat in my hand. "What the fuck?" I spoke aloud to myself, head still in hands.
    "Oooh shiiit dude, you're up! I thought you were a dead homeless guy," A skinny guy who slightly resembled Jesus spoke up from behind me. I jumped in shock, not even realizing that I was in someone else's house. I turned to face the guy and he tossed something in my direction and said," Oh, uh, here's your wallet, man. My bad."
    "Where the fuck am I? What time is it?" My hands rushed to my pockets and I patted my legs down in a panic. I found no pockets, but I was glad to be clothed. I peered down at myself and wondered where the hell I had gotten simpsons boxers.
    "You're in the zone, maaan," Jesus guy responded. "Also, here's your phone. Again, my bad, brother." He tossed my phone at me and I caught it before it crashed into my face. Fucking great, I was stuck in the house of a stoner who was far enough out of it that he thought I was a dead guy and tried to take my shit.
    I wouldn't find any help in that place, so I got up and rushed out of the house. The cold air chilled my half naked body, and I remembered that I was in nothing but boxers. The panic of a naked-in-public dream over came me, and I rushed into a nearby alley way. My only means of escape would be to call for a cab and hope there would be no questions asked.
    I opened up my wallet to make sure I had enough cash for the ride, and I was shocked to find that my measly $20 had accumulated into whopping $1,020.
    I heard a door open and close, and I clicked my phone on quickly. I had to leave before some poor neighbor kid saw me in my naked stupor.
    I had expected to be greeted with my usual home screen, but instead a strange video was on the screen. Curious, I pressed play.
    "Homer, over here!" a woman called out on screen. The camera spun to get me in the frame. I instinctively covered my mouth in shock when I took in the image. I was on stage with a stripper pole, two donuts on my chest as a costume bra and one more in my mouth as I grinded against the pole. Women surrounded me, tossing cash in my direction.
    "I'm a sweet donut over here, Mr. Simpson!"
    Suffice to say, I never got drunk in a strip join again.

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What Guys Said 0

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