So tonight I agreed to marry a 54 year old man and blew my a large chunk of my savings on an impromptu shopping spree. Does that officially make me bipolar?
Most Helpful Guy
I'm not a qualified specialist so I can't give quality advice on bipolar vs not bipolar. However, based on the knowledge I do have of bipolar disorder...
-- Includes mania stages with things like impaired judgement, impulisive/risky behavior
-- Can manifest late teens or early adulthood
-- Often is genetic/runs in families
So if this was kind of a mania episode, this does fit the bill, especially with your mom being bipolar and all.
What do you do now?
Well, I think the worst you can do is freak out over this situation. Rather, stressing over the bipolar-vs-non-bipolar issue will just make you go crazy-- it won't help. Relax. Eat a snickerdoodle (if you like snickerdoodle cookies).
You may not be bipolar and your mind may be playing tricks on you. The mind often does that, and will even pretend to enact symptoms, even if they aren't really there. It's like how webMD always says "cancer." It's too early to say. For all you know, you could have been overly excited by the prospect of marriage with it not stemming from anything but that. I think the bigger issue at hand is the engagement.
What to do now?
My personal advice: Squash this before it goes too far. I saw that you said you love someone else. Coming from his perspective, I'm imagining how it would be being told near the day of the wedding "I don't love you" vs being told before I bought the ring "I don't love you." Both will hurt, but I'd say being told before things take off would be better. The longer it takes, the harder the pill it is to swallow. (Not to mention he doesn't have to buy ring, and he hopefully wouldn't have told everyone and face less shame from that.)
I don't believe in the concept of learning to love someone in time when it comes to something like engagements/marriage. I figure if the engagement is already off to a rocky start, the marriage will almost certainly be very rough. Likewise, trying to force a marriage will be absolutely dreadful for you, because you'll be essentially throwing yourself in a trap. It will be wasting your time and closing you off to developing where you want to go off to.
From my perspective (as an internet stranger typing a long ass answer), it was a mistake to agree to engagement you weren't committed for. That being said, it'd be an even bigger mistake-- a huge mistake, to to follow through on a marriage you weren't committed for. It's ultimately your life, but that's my two cents on the matter. You are free to accept/reject it as you please. :)2
Most Helpful Girl
No, that alone doesn't make you bipolar, but the fact that your mother was bipolar does. There is a chance that the offspring of someone with a mental disorder can also have that disorder, though it isn't 100% likely.
With that said, it's normal for an adult to go on a random shopping spree. It's also normal to agree to do something you might not fully want to do, or to make a quick decision about important matters.
I agree with what dangerDoge said about your mind possibly playing tricks on you. For a couple years I used to research mental disorders a LOT, so much that I started believing I had those symptoms. Simply because the thought of it was on my mind, I tricked myself into believing I was OCD, then a year later Schizophrenic. I'm not actually, but I truly believed it at the time.
So, sit back, grab your favorite snack, and relax a bit. Clear your head of mental illnesses. Maybe try returning some of those clothes you bought, too, and tell the guy your real feelings before it's too late.0