Life sucks, don't know what to do?

I don't know how to be happy and optimistic, I'm stuck at a menial job I'm over qualified for, surrounded by gossipy people and having to see my "ex" (or whatever he is idk) and having no friends makes it more unbearable. I deal with really bad anxiety and depression and it keeps me isolated from everyone, and I can't afford medication neither do I want to take it. I'm 25 and I just feel like I should be farther along in life. I realize I have a lot going for me (a stable job, car, living rent free, college degree) but i still can't see it that way because I'm miserable at my job and my anxiety keeps me from enjoying life and progressing (new job, grad school, friendships, relationships) I hear life is supposed to be fun but not in my case. I don't know what else to do because it's a daily struggle that doesn't get easier. I hear of people that grow out of their anxiety and I've hoped it would be the same for me but it's getting worse. I'm just venting not really sure what I'm looking for...

Updates:
Really grateful for all the helpful (and somewhat helpful) responses☺️ it means a lot

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Everyday you need to wake up and focus on the positives in your life not the negatives. In this one post you talk over and over again about what you perceive to be negative attributes in your life and you are letting it rule you.
    Focus on your positives whatever they may be - car, job (be thankful you are employed and making money no matter how shitty it is--thousands of people would take that position from you in a heartbeat), degree, etc. Then everyday challenge yourself to find something new to be positive about - something you did at your shitty job you were pleased with even if no one else was, you made a great chicken salad that say, your hair looked movie star glamorous, whatever (these are just examples of course).
    Focus on the positives in your life don't let negativity rule you. Make a decision to do that and it will help. I'm not a doctor but I think state of mind helps.

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    • Yes that is true, something I've been trying to work on but it's hard when the reality doesn't look all that great then something happens to make me stop trying to be positive

Most Helpful Girl

  • hey there, you have clearly stated here a massive part of your daily struggle and negative influence upon you. your job with your ex and people you do not get along with. this will not allow you to progress out of depression it is a constant drain on you. living rent free? parents? could you leave this job and take anything even serving burgers, waitressing to remove you and promote you to a new path. you need a shift to allow yourself to build the strength to move forward. i would take a guess that you have felt this way for some time but it is getting stronger in you now you are 25, you are being driven to progress in life towards your 28 birthday. this is a universal drive, you can listen and use this push or ignore it, which you are not because you are here. when you are depressed your brain is functioning at a different level to what is considered normal its like you are fighting from below, alone barely hanging on to the edge, you sometimes could just let go and disappear from this realm because you are not connected to anyone or anything and everyday life is literally exhausting. my advice remove stresses and strains like the job involves build yourself up, make more seratonin naturally by exercise, nature, foods etc and keep good company that promotes you, the way you feel now is real no doubt, however, this is a chemical imbalance that life has created and your stuck, its lonely there, the deepest depths of hell you could ever imagine is a term i once used. i dont know if your a reader or believer in energy, spirit, god etc, the power of attraction type books are about positive mind changes. from a more positive view point now in my life, when your that low its like it hangs onto you with all its might and you have to fight your way out and the school of thought seeking help, councelling etc never worked for me, i had to do it... dont feel like your a failure and haven't accomplished yet you are so young and when you come through this you will be strong and will go on to great things, hope this may help in some way xx

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    • Yes thank you, my job is a very big stressor, and I know I will be so much happier when I leave, but I keep wondering why is it so hard to find something else? Like I'm not meant to be happy? I do read books, like the power of now is a good one. I'm trying to get back to eating healthy and exercise, I was eating horribly because of my depression. I am also trying to use my support system like my immediate family and few close friends, but my anxiety is keeping me from reaching out.

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    • I have been trying to leave my job for the past year but I haven't had luck and also haven't looked as hard as I should have because of fear of not being good enough.

    • And its hard because I'm always at my job where I don't have any friends and don't want to be friends with anyone there. And the few friends I do have don't I've close by and are busy so I kinda need new friends. But I suck at it. I've been trying to do other things like go to the gym or go to meetup events but I don't know how to make friends.

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What Guys Said 17

  • Can I say that I am almost a prefect mirror of you, what you are feeling, where you are, your job, situation, etc. The big difference is that I have mortgage too, and I'm a guy! :)
    It isn't just you!! I know others in the same place!!
    My family say, 'If you hate it so much find another job!' Yeah, just pick one off the fcking tree, right? I've seen a few leave the company I work for and then in two months they want to come BACK!! How messed up is that? If other jobs are that bad, that they want to come back to what they quit, because it sucked so bad, what hope is there for another job?
    I could be depressed, but I found an amazing, entertaining 'out' to keep me laughing!!
    Ever thought of playing pranks, and fcking with the people that you HATE, at work? Great entertainment!!
    I'm really smart, not just saying, but like IQ scores, and tests, and BORED!!!
    "The Devil finds work for idle hands!!" they say!! Mess with the ones you hate, that you work with!!
    Favorites:
    put a Post-It over the optic (red light) on their mouse!
    Unplug their network cable, not out, but just enough that it looks plugged in, but won't connect!! :)
    Fill their drawers with those packing 'peanuts'!! :)
    Put a stink bomb behind the wall of their cube, or someplace they won't look!
    Evil, I know, but some are really evil and mess with you, so pay-back is a 'btch', right?
    Page them, if you have an intercom, and tell them to call their own number!! I got a few with that!! :)
    If all that fails, try a new hobby, or learn something new, and meet new people!! Most communities have some classes, so find one you like, and take one, and meet some people, learn something new.
    Or just find someone here that you can relate to, and chat offline!! :)

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    • Haha. Can't do the pranks but thanks for the ideas. And yes finding a job isn't easy but it does seem that way for everyone else smh. I am trying to find new ways to meet people but the actual meeting and talking and making friends part is another obstacle 😰

  • To grow out of the anxiety you have to overcome it and start actively participating in a social life. No one will overcome it automagically just sticking to their comfort zone. Working on that can probably fix your whole outlook, but you need to make some friends with whom you can actively do some fun things on the weekends, e. g.

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    • I have tried as long as I could remember, high school and college I was involved in so many things but I haven't met anyone. I just feel like why keep trying it shouldn't be this hard but it is so I get depressed and give up. I don't know what else to do that a normal person hasn't done. I just have bad luck i guess

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    • If you try that maybe try dressing up in a way that's not very sexy or provocative to mitigate sexual attention. Maybe just t-shirt and jeans, not all dolled up so that you can better focus on just being friendly and practicing to overcome the anxiety. And it's better if you can do it without any liquid courage and just stick to non-alcoholic drinks, refusing any alcohol from those who offer. It might sound like a horrible option but it is a steady supply of strangers who are often going to be open to chatting with strangers. It's easier to overcome anxiety in that kind of setting where you can go out any time and meet new people instead of seeing the same group of people over and over.

    • Yeah I see what you mean, thanks.

  • You need to find something you are passionate about and share it with someone who you are passionate about

    I think you should pick up a new hobby or skill, and commit to it. Whether it's ballet or painting, find something that allows you to express yourself and meet other people.

    Hopefully along the way, you can meet someone who enjoys your company and wants to see you be happy. Share your new found passion with him.

    hang in there!

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    • Yes that's a great idea. Been trying to go to the gym more often, volunteering, going to meet up events, but it's hard meeting people as an adult and even harder for me trying to muster up the courage and motivation to get out and hope for a better outcome

    • Hang in there. It's good that you are trying. Eventually you will succeed. It is harder to meet people after college. But, I think you are a special hardworking person. Open yourself and you will find people trying to enter your life 😊

    • Thank you so much 😊

  • Take some time off, go on a trip, have some life changing exhilarating experiences, go for sky diving or bungee jumping or something (ofcourse it should be safe and regularised... I recently quit my job and I will be travelling around Europe starting from October... I was in pretty similar situation but I was not depressed or feeling lonely, just bored

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    • I would love to but i don't have that opportunity, even if I do try that stuff, my anxiety keeps me from having fun, so I feel like what's the point 😔

  • life starts at 25... just give up the negative thoughts and start having fun..

    travel to places, explore things.. your life is in your hands, you can mend it the way you like.. either you can get in to depression or leave everything behind and start fresh...

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    • I want to think that but it really doesn't turn out that way for me. Plans fall through, or i can't enjoy myself because of my anxiety so I can't help but think what's the point

    • plan a trip somewhere and explore the place... start with it

  • Have same anxiety problems. Just started working out and little by little forcing myself to do things that make me uncomfortable like being around strangers.
    But you still need a friend.
    http://imgur.com/gallery/ATP0j this will cheer you up

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    • I'm doing that but nothing comes out of it. But thank you for the link that was pretty amazing 👍😁

  • i never understood how women can fail in their lives... free everything, shitloads of guys to choose from, lowered barriers everywhere BUT STILL FAIL.

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    • Being born a female doesn't mean life is easier. What's free everything? Dinner and alcohol? I don't know how far that's supposed to take me. Sh*toads of guys to choose from? Lol oh right even though 99% just out to waste your time and play with your feelings like I have the patience or self respect to keep dealing with that. you don't understand because you don't know what it's like. So stop judging.

    • "Lol oh right even though 99% just out to waste your time and play with your feelings like I have the patience or self respect to keep dealing with that."

      u're talking about players (hot guys) and that's exactly what I mean - you choose that small groups of dudes. You filter out 95% of guys and go for a player or any other good looking looser. This is beyond ridiculous.

    • Lol are you sure about that? You don't know what kind of guys I've dated so stop assuming because you think most women do that. Why bother commenting. This is not even on topic. So yes this ridiculous. Lol smh

  • Your the only one is standing in your own way to success

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    • I'd like to think that but I really have tried endlessly to put myself out there and here I am watching everyone else live their life so I don't know what I'm doing wrong

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    • Wow that's a great way of looking at things. I appreciate that. I'll try.

    • Please do because I've never ever seen a person go backwards from this way my entire life. And thier success with others are unmatched

  • Eh I'm 43 and still a loser. Life is pretty much downhill after 30 and over by 40 anyway. You still started on the downhill slope 5 years early. I wouldn't worry about it too much, you get used to it sooner or later. And before you know it the hell of life is over when you die at 80ish.

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  • I will help answer your question in the morning, I am this way also, just remind me to answer

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  • well girl its a matter of self steem , beacuse everyone should learn how not to be affected by other one's comments , im pretty sure the whole world have felt like nothing in a part of the life , nevertheless it goes into us to overcome the things and look for solutions

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  • same with me. life does sucks a lot

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    • Lol I guess I'm not the only one so that helps a little? Lol 😔 I'm sorry I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy

    • naah your not alone in this. dont worry, just hope that it gets better, because hope is the only good thing we can have. and by the way im always here for you if you need to talk to about anything, :)

    • Thank you ☺️

  • Save up money and go live abroad, somewhere.

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  • You're at the magic WTF age - 25. Don't worry something will happen Soon

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    • I want to think that, but I want to do something about it myself but I've tried so I don't know, I'm going to be 30 I can't be this way forever I feel so childish

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    • I tried quite a few, one worked for a bit then stopped. I hate the dependency, feeling worse before getting better, side effects, money, etc. I just don't want to go back to it I'm trying exercise and yoga

    • Yeah, I hear you. I can handle benzodiazepines; they're effective for anxiety. Exercise and yoga are really beneficial, but exercise strenuously, preferably with weights, as it causes your brain to release dopamine, and you'll get a feeling of well being; naturally. And we all know the benefits of yoga. But if you haven't experienced the dopamine effect, you' ll be amazed. Good luck!

  • What's your degree? How hard is it for you to get a new job? I've been there, loneliness, depression

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    • Psychology. There are jobs I've gone on a handful of interviews this year, just not working out for me. What helped the loneliness and depression?

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    • Oh wow ok that takes a lot of discipline, even when I ate healthy and worked out I was still the same I don't know what's wrong with me

    • well that's not enough on it's own, but it helps a lot

  • I don't blame you. Life is really a drag.

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  • Fight the Jews.

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What Girls Said 4

  • This sound pretty negative and while I am just a normal 20-year-old but honest I'd probably love to know you so we could be friends and make life a little more enjoyable and maybe even laughable but that's just my personal thoughts...

    I would say just ''F'' that wannabe F boy ex-bf fling or whatever he is of yours is it borders you seeing him please just look for a new better job then quit if you can... I do not know what your preferred field of work would be but please for the sake of happiness and mental health get yourself a new job... and remember don't stay in your own back yard when you could use the whole world...

    if I were you I would save up for a holiday trip alone you first need you get yourself out of the stress zone and re-learn yourself how to have your own back...
    I know all of this may be weak advice but I wish you the best , Hugs and kisses from the U. K x

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    • Thank you so much for those kind words. I'm trying to get another job it's just taking much longer than I anticipated 😓. I would rather have company on a trip since I spend so much time by myself it isn't enjoyable. But you have a friend here in the States 😊😊

  • :/ it can only get better. Sounds like your jn a funk

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    • Been waiting my whole life for it to turn around, but life shouldn't be all about waiting, you know? Not that I haven't tried, just never feels like it's meant to be

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    • Let me guess you don't live in the US, nothing good for us is even close to free, not even affordable smh, I used to work out a lot it helped in the short run but not long term

    • No I don't, that's horrible. What do your taxes go on? And :/well if it helps worth trying

  • Give yourself a moment to dwell in self pity then start making changes.

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    • It's hard to feel motivated to make a change when it hasn't worked in the past so I feel like what's the point you know? But I suppose I have no other choice

    • I totally understand how u feel despite how people perceive me and my life offline but change is the ONLY way.

      MUCH LUCK to u xo :)

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