I'm coming clean, do you guy's think I'm a slut?

The last year or two I did a lot of stuff I regret... I was thinking of not posting this because peoples opinions and all... But hey, I'm probably never going to meet any of you so f*ck it.

A couple years ago I got really depressed. I started wearing a hoodie, cried before bed every night, and if I acted sad around my friends they stopped talking to me... That made me feel worse because I felt like no one cared.
Then I made the biggest mistake of my life, I got in a online relationship with a 20 something dude. It was not what you would call a "healthy relationship". For starters I was 13 and he was 20 something. Second when I told him I didn't want to show him my boobs he said it was because I didn't love him and I'm a little b*tch and broke up with me for the day. The next day after he said he wouldn't pressure me to do anything I didn't want to, he asked me to show him my boobs and if I didn't this thing isn't gonna work out...(not exactly what he said but you get the gist of it). So I showed him my chest, yes I know I'm a slut and I really regret it. After that he asked me to show other parts I said no, we broke up, he apologized, asked again, I broke up with him and blocked him. After that he made another account saying he's changed, I blocked that one too. And another saying that he just wants to talk, I told him to screw off, he told me I'm an immature c*nt...
After that I got more depressed and started cutting, I have a bunch of scars on my leg because of it (I didn't cut my arm because I didn't want people to see).
Recently I started getting better, I started dressing in outfits that involve other stuff then a hoodie and jeans, stopped cutting, still don't talk to my friends because they stopped talking to me as soon as I started being a little pouty. I'm switching schools so hopefully I'll make some new friends. Generally things are looking up.
I'm having trouble deciding if I should post the guys username or not, what he did we technical pedophilia...


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I feel like you made a mistake based on horrible emotions at the time. I wouldn't call you a slut-- you simply made a mistake. I don't mean to make light of the situation, but I'm just saying that shit happens. The past can't be changed, but the future can.

    I have a friend who was in a similar situation some years back. She started sexting older dudes when she was 14 or so because she had some issues stemming from serious depression and some issues with a teacher. Like more than just a chest pic, and this was spread around school too, so many saw it.
    In any case, she is doing better now and is actually a really cool person. She was able to move on from it by getting help. It wasn't easy, but she was able to forgive herself. This forgiving herself was a crucial step in the process. She had to basically let go of the self deprivation that only was dragging her back. She had to realize that she still deserved utmost self-respect, and that the respect she deserved was still the same as before the incident.

    Mistakes were made, and you are being too hard on yourself. Really, you are being WAY too hard on yourself. You were manipulated and used, and a large chunk of the issue is this dude's fault. He could/should be thrown in jail for taking advantage of you.

    What do you do now?
    Pick yourself up. Let the regret only stay in the sense as a lesson learned. Don't let it take control of your life as punishment. Move on, and be more conscious in the future. Live life and enjoy it too. Find new friends. Watch out for screwed up dudes (and never speak to this guy again). You are NOT a slut. Repeat-- You are NOT a slut. What's holding you back at this point is you. :)

    Punishment of yourself won't make things better. That won't change a single thing in the future. If anything, it will only make the scars larger and hard to get rid of. I think you've learned your lesson to from this experience. Just keep it as a mental note from now on.

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    • 3mo

      edit out: "a large chunk of"
      *for clarification, I'm trying to say it is this guy's fault. He was very manipulative in his wording and trapped you into it.

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    • 3mo

      @SheSugarcoat Did you see the comment I made right after I posted it with the edit? I realized I totally butchered that sentence when I reread my post and made a comment in correction. I said to edit those words out and then clarified.

      "Just keep it as a mental note from now on."
      That was in reference to how she shouldn't keep it hanging over her head and beating herself up over it... Hence the sentence right after was "Don't let it take control of your life as punishment" (i. e. Self harm)
      My opinion was directed towards the emotional aspect. I remember how much my friend went through after her situation and how much she really beat up herself after it. It screwed her up for awhile mentally.

      And yeah, I do wanna see this guy get thrown in jail, but the emotional trauma is still there after that regardless (hence my reference to the past not changing and embracing the future). Addressing the emotional side took priority in my opinion.

    • 3mo

      ok, srry. I overlooked your edition and misinterpreted what u said. English is not my mother tongue. Best of luck!

Most Helpful Girl

  • You're not a slut. Sweetie~
    Definition of slut
    1. a woman who has many casual sexual partners.
    2. a woman with low standards of cleanliness.
    You don't fit any of those descriptions, but you just made a bad choice, learn from your mistake and move on. Since your moving schools, it's your chance to start new. Keep ignoring that guy, don't even talk about him, don't post his username, because if you do, it may cause you more attention. Aha stop cutting yourself right now ><, your extremely young and your schooling life won't even matter, just keep smiling and you'll be fine ~ :) <3

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    • 3mo

      Just keep ignoring him, don't cause any attention, if you do, he might keep harassing you~ <3

    • 3mo

      Well i think a woman who is not married or dating someone can have many sexual partners as she wishes and we shouldn't call her a slut, as long as she's not trying to seduce married men or something. Everyone has needs u know. But other than that i agree with u

    • 3mo

      @Anhnguyen96 I got the definition of google~ ><

What Guys Said 29

  • I would not post is name anywhere! You'd probably have a job proving anything, and it could work against you. If guys find out it was you that posted his name, not many would ever get even close to dating you in the future. Just leave this episode behind you, in the past, where it belongs.

    You were in a bad position, and he took full advantage of that. You were young and impressionable. What he did was totally wrong, but typical of many guys. They all say "If you don't *whatever*, you don't love me". That's straight blackmail, and you, like many, fell for it.

    If pleased thinks are looking up. It will all come right! Put this down to one of life's bad experiences, but I think you will have learnt a lot from it.

    You weren't a slut at that age! Some awful guy just took advantage of you.

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    • 3mo

      OK! I'm out numbered. Name him and shame him. Tell your parents. Tell the police.

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    • 3mo

      I have no evidence against him. When I broke up with him I deleted everything, and pretend it didn't happen for a year. Also he lives in India and I live in Canada, so it would be vary hard to do anything to him.

    • 3mo

      @Nuala I seem to have been pilloried over my opinion on this. I'm not bothered about that. I am concerned that, sadly, in seeking justice, you would have to relive the trauma and end up being cross examined in court. Sometimes it's better to shrug your shoulders and just let things go. I wish you well.

      I said above I'm not bothered about any adverse comments from some lady here. This WILL be my last comment on GAG.

  • It was kinda foolish but I don't think sending one topless picture to one guy you thought you were in a relationship with makes you a slut.

    Wait was it a guy from this website? 😯

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  • Why were you interested in being with a 20 something dude in the first place? Do you not remember the guys age? Anyway a slut gives it up usually with or without a guy trying to get there. I'm still wondering whether what you said is a true story or not..

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  • I don't think you are a slut at all. I think you were just being a kid. Most of us have already had those instances and dealt with them. I would suggest approaching your parents about such matters with the guy.

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  • Which part of your story says you are a slut,.. And that guy needs to go to jail

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  • your not a slut at all. everyone makes mistakes.
    dont worry, im glad you learned from your mistake.
    just be careful next time and dont do it again.

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  • Nah your not a slut sweetheart. Just some people dude using you ad your feelings against you. Just learn from it.

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  • i would say let him know he screwed up. warn him that if he does it again, you will report it to authorities.

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  • What a fucking scumbag preying on girls your age. I'm only afraid that you can be charged for child porn, I've actually heard stories of girls being charged for showing their own nudes underage

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  • I do not think you are a slut.
    I think you have gone through a very difficult time and need help

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  • Everyone makes mistakes.
    We're all human , you're not a slut
    I would be careful in the future

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  • Yes, it was pedophilia by all extents of the law, and he should be thrown in the slammer for that shit.

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  • Yeah you should report him for attempted grooming

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  • No you are not slutty i did worse things lol.

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  • i am glad your mental health is better now. that bastard was evil. don't worry too much about past no big deal. Don't cut yourself next time. it doesn't help and you know that.

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  • If you dont repeat the same thing you are still ok , i give it to your childhood.

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  • No your not a slut we all make mistakes it what makes us human

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  • Report him to the cops! That doesn't make you a slut

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  • No, your not a slut

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  • You didn't handle the situation well (it was horrible handling), but you're still not a slut. He's the one with a serious problem, you just need to learn from this serious mistake.

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  • you should report the guy to the fucking cyber crime cell

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  • no a slut by deffinition is someone who had sex with a lot of guys. You haven't and yeah you fell for a pedo which sucks

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  • never say never (in terms of you never meeting anyone off here)

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What Girls Said 10

  • You need to have a serious talk with your parents and get into therapy.

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  • Sweetheart, you ARE NOT a slut. He manipulated you. He took advantage of you considering you are very yound and therefore naive. You should share this situation with your parents (don't be ashamed), as this men is dangerous and CAN NOT live in society. I'm glad things are turning out great for you. Better days will come. Love xoxo.

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    • 3mo

      You should also consider removing your picture from your profile. Creeps are everywhere and we, gurls, have to be overcaucious with those things.

  • Not a slut but it seems like you were lost at that moment in your life... you should have spoken with your parents and your parents shouldn't allowed you to be online at such an early age.. or at least blocked certain sites. That grown man definitely took advantage of you, he knew what he was doing and it was sick and wrong.. I think you should be telling your parents this and not us. He needs to off the internet before another girl becomes his victim.

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  • You were a kid, heck, you still ARE a kid. He was a creepy manipulator who preyed on you.

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  • I'm glad you're getting better, if you ever need to talk to anyone I'm right here for ya girlie. Report him if you want to, but make sure you screenshot all of your conversations. You'll need proof.

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  • You're not a slut for that. A slut is someone who has many sexual partners. If you're still a virgin, you're not a slut. In the moment, you really liked this guy, so you gave in and it was a mistake. Everybody makes mistakes, but don't let this one mistake take over your life. It isn't as bad as you think. Just block him, report him, and forget about him. Don't release his username though because creeps like that have no problem with revenge (usually meaning blackmail).

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  • He's a fucking creep and you didn't do anything besides showing boobs. Being sexually active isn't bad, just don't be illegal. Never talk to him again.

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  • Was he aware of your age when he asked for those pictures? If he was aware he needs to be reported before he really hurts someone in the future. you are NOT a slut. You are a child and he manipulated you he took advantage of you. it is not your fault. If he thought u where 18 then he should not get reported

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  • I THINK YOU JUST aren't THE BRIGHTEST BULBY IN THE BULB FIELD... BUT THAT OKAY BAY BAY

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  • No, you're not a slut, you just made a mistake. You learned from it, and that's all you can do.
    He, on the other hand, is a manipulative pedophile and just wanted to get off on pictures of little girls, and he should be registered as a sex offender. If you still have proof of him knowing of your age, yet asking you for sexual pictures and agreeing to an online relationship, you can report him.

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    • 3mo

      And like one of the other opinions said on here, the whole "If you don't do [fill in the blank], you don't love me" is emotional blackmail and manipulation. That is classic for people like him to get what they want. If anyone ever tells you that again, tell them "You must not love me since you're pressuring me to do something I'm not comfortable with". Someone who actually loved you would not blackmail and manipulate you into giving them what they want regardless of whether you are uncomfortable or not.

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