I went on Facebook yesterday and saw that one of the boys that bullied me in middle school is now some kind celebrity chef and it's really been weighing on me ever since.
First let me state, I went to a Catholic school from 6-8 and you are with same kids from start to finish. So, it's not like it was some random guy in the school hallway who said one comment to me. He was someone I had to see everyday for 3yrs and was one of the many main people. He even tried to put my head in a garage bag and when I told the school they said "He's parents pay good money to the school and he would never do that". So, to see his face in a picture and see he's successful and smiling is hard to see.
Second, I know people have many opinions about kids who were or are bullied but being bullied really effected me in the worst way. It broke me. It changed me and the way I view myself. I had insomnia after that, I was defensive, I had zip zero zilch confidence, I had bad dreams and I got an anxiety disorder because of the bullying. It messed with me mentally, emotionally, spiritually and in many ways. I've spent the longest time changing and growing and trying to better myself and my life. Everyday I try to make strides forward in my life and this year alone I have made many. So, to see that guy that bullied me be successful and get this great stuff in life and me try and try and try and never give up but get nothing for that effort. It just feels unfair and it's hard.
So, have you ever felt that way before?
Most Helpful Guy
The thing you have to have to understand is that "wrong to feel" is an emotion and like all emotions, it's neither good nor bad. It just is.
As for being bullied, I've gotten over it and if I did see something like that, I would truly wish the best for them. I have no time for feelings like that as it's kinda like taking poison and expecting the other person to die.0
Most Helpful Girl
This is the thing:
It isn't how nice you are that gets you places, it's how hard you're willing to work. Whether or not they were bullies is irrelevant; people change, and if they work their asses off to make a name for themselves in a difficult industry then they're deserving of it. Even if they had help, they had to do the work to get there. It either that or dumb luck, but dumb luck isn't that common
You were bullied, that sucks. So was I, but holding onto it and pouting that the bullies from your past are doing well only hurts you more. I know you're working hard and it might feel like the pay off isn't here yet, but you can't allow that notion, and the notion of other people doing better, stop you from doing well in your life.
"Comparison is the thief of joy" as they say.
I've had a few moments in my life where I asked myself why I felt that my hard work wasn't paying off, and I realized something: it was because for every ounce of effort I put it in, as time went on, like physical training, I needed to bump it up. If working hard isn't working then work HARDER, that's all you can do.1