Is it time to accept that I'll never be in a relationship? I want to have sex, but it's not worth the effort?

Last year of college, going to get my degree in a matter of months, so I'm pretty pumped. However, I can't help but still feel the urges of wanting a woman in my life. Back when I was a freshman in high school I just started liking girls, and I thought it would be pretty simple. I was immature then, and was used early on by girls who just wanted help with their homework, and tried walking all over me as soon as they knew I thought they were attractive. That wasn't a good start, and rattled my whole point of view of girls. My junior year of high school to present day, I've struggled with girls who act like they like me in a sexual way, and then if I ask them out a few days later they act shocked and reject me brutally. Right now, I don't feel like putting in any effort at all because of all the bad times I've had, and honestly I'm kind of turned off by the girls around me. They act wicked entitled and stuck up, and honestly act like I'm not even there sometimes. And when I think they're acting interested and asking questions about me, how am I supposed to trust them? Are they toying with me just to enjoy rejecting me to boost their ego? Just the other day I was sitting between two girls, and there was a guy sitting a couple seats away. One of the girls was texting the guy the whole time (they were laughing throughout class), and the other girl just looked past me at the guy like she was jealous or something. I just kept paying attention to the lecture, but that's just it. Girls are never interested in me, and I think I'm pretty cool. I play sports, have hobbies, consider myself decently attractive. After all the shit I've felt, I am reaching a conclusion that it's better to just not deal with it anymore. Why do I bother? Is all this effort really worth just getting to have an orgasm? I haven't really met a girl that I have much in common with anyways. Thankfully I have a friend who thinks similarly, so I don't feel too crazy basically swearing it off.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I was going to try to help you... but then saw your comment about getting a hooker.

    That, in my eyes, makes you untouchable.

    You've given up after *some* women have rejected you/been mean.

    - - So.. If I get 20 men who are jerks to me, I should give up and call all men jerks?

    NO. You pick up, move on, and do your thing. If you find a woman, you find her.

    - How'd you feel if the girl you met admitted to sleeping with hookers? You might say differently, but you probably would be disgusted.

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    • 3mo

      Honestly I probably won't get a hooker, like 99% nah. I don't mind if I die a virgin

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    • 3mo

      Common superficial interests (sports, fashion, etc) are ultimately not important at all, in a relationship.
      Those are things you can get from yr friends/family, if you don't share them with yr partner. No big whoop.

      The things that MATTER -- apart from the sexual connection, which obviously matters -- are things like...
      ... communication (are you "on the same wavelength"? Can you finish each other's sentences? Do you have a natural intuition for each other?)
      ... values (do you feel the same way about moral dilemmas? do you come to *similar* conclusions about what's the right/wrong thing to do in certain situations?)
      ... lifestyle (where do you want to live? how much "structure" do you need in yr life? how busy do you like to be? morning/evening person? party person/stay home person? etc)

      And so forth.

      You are listing a bunch of shit that doesn't matter at all. In fact, it's actually good NOT to share lots of those things with yr gf/wife -- because then you still need yr friends!

    • 3mo

      @redeyemindtricks You're right. This is basically re affirming what I was thinking though. Relationships are just not for me. I've never been in one, I don't understand them, I'm bad at them. I don't like things I'm bad at and that kill my confidence

Most Helpful Guy

  • If you want sex just buy escort for sex and companionship. It's worth it because all escorts are smoking hot lile models and the sex is always fantastic. I think most guys are chumps becuase they all jump through hoops for average girls and buy them gifts etc yet men don't even realise that they're paying for sex to start with.

    Sex for man is only free if you can at least walk up to a female an ask her for sex and she say yes like any guy would if a woman approached you and asked you for sex. Other than that, if a women makes you wait, earn the sex or even pay for sex through dating then she's a prostitute becuase it makes mathematical sence if you think about it.

    know what am saying OP? Women altogether are just a bad investment anyway becuase unless your part of the top 20% of men no women is ever going to desire you. We are all beta utilities bro MGTOW men like me and you have got to stick together.

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    • 3mo

      Yeah fuck them. You're so right too. My friends have had relationships that have lasted 3-4 years, buying her jewelry and crazy birthday and Christmas presents, only to get dumped or have the relationship implode. That's a lot of money to spend on someone temporary who doesn't love you anymore. My dog means more to me than anyone else except my parents, I'd do anything for him and he'd do anything for me too (I think haha). No girl is ever like that, you always have to give her something/do something first. I don't trust women anymore, and am done putting in effort

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    • 3mo

      I get where your coming from. As a 15 year old girl who is often used because she is "smart" I get where you are coming from on that one. But I still believe that I will find someone who loves me for who I am. And I am going to believe that applies to you. You just have to keep an open mind. If you ever want to talk, I'm around. I'm quite happy to be your first female friend if you want. But you shouldn't give up just because of past experiences. If I got a dollar for every time I've been hurt by a guy, preferably someone I cared about I would have enough money for at least 8 books by now. Just don't give up because there is someone out there for everyone.

    • 2mo

      Thank you for MHA OP. I am a realist sent here to spread knowledge, wisdom and enlightenment brother.

What Girls Said 2

  • Either give yourself a break from thinking about it or engage in different crowds of people who are nicer and may help restore your original feelings. I'd recommend joining some kind of club or activity that has a lot of volunteers. Brings out the best of people.

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    • 3mo

      I hope I never have my original feelings. Those feelings were delusional and would only exist in a perfect world where people you like end up liking you as well. Now, I've taken a more logical and analytical approach. The odds of me actually meeting a nice girl in college is 0%, so I need to wait until I am elsewhere for something to happen. Pretty much every girl here is an entitled cunt, and pretty much all of us guys are in the same boat. Some of my friends are kinda stupid in my opinion and deal with them and date them, but the rest are just bitchy. Sure some are really hot on the outside, but horrible people. Reminds me of the movie shallow hal. If you came to my school and that was reality, I wouldn't consider dating anybody at all. Too bad you have to find out people are horrible first, you can't just look at them and know

  • I believe Sex should only be experienced in marriage. It's a way to create life, not satisfaction for selfish needs. It's a temptation that you should resist. Ask of God to give you the guidance you need. Choose to repent your sins, make your life worth something.

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What Guys Said 18

  • If dating in person hasn't worked so well you can try online sites like OkC, PoF, (Even Tinder if you're so inclined) etc. I've dated girls short-term from there before, I'm sure it's possible to meet someone long-term too if you're on there long enough to really find someone that you're on the same wavelength with! The good thing about those sites is that, for the most part, everyone is there for the same single reason: to date. So intentions are not quite so unknown as they may be when you run into girls in class. At least you can have some fun, talk to girls, get your game on and see what works.

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    • 3mo

      At the current moment I don't want to do that, but if I reach a point where I feel inspired to try again, those are some good options.

  • Ok listen. We all face some sort of difficulties at some point in our life. Don't give up. Try again and again and realise that not all girls are same. But please, don't the the same thing again and again. Realise what happened wrong and learn from mistakes. Change yourself. If you live in the west, try tinder. Lots of opportunities there.

    If all else failed, save some money and get a prostitute. This will settle down your urges and give you a mental stability. DON'T make it a habit and be safe. Ultimately, you havs to find a girl who really loves you, it's necessary for a good life. Try again. If failed again, get a prostitute and repeat the process.

    Good luck, fella :)

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    • 3mo

      I don't know about a prostitute, but maybe even a girlfriend experience that you know about beforehand, like someone who is clean and will provide a date, have stuff in common with you that you can talk about, and then bang afterwards. That's better than banging someone just for banging because you can try to establish a connection beforehand. I want that, that's what makes it satisfying. However, back to reality for a second. I understand and appreciate your advice, but it's extremely difficult/borderline insanity (seriously though, this is the technical definition of insanity) to keep trying. Why? Why should I keep trying if I'm going to keep feeling horrible afterwards? I'd rather not try, that way I can stop hurting myself

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    • 3mo

      Whatever, I'm still 21 so I guess I have some time to come around. Right now it just doesn't seem for me though. I'm too immature about how relationships work to be in one

    • 3mo

      Exactly! Don't stress the things out. Just do whatever makes you happy.

  • Man, it looks like you heading for the MGTOW Route!

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  • do like me dude. if you dont find anything Worth of effort women wise, put your money into prostitutes. less drama + satisfactions :P

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    • 3mo

      When I get a job after this year and have a surplus of cash, I'll make it happen haha. No drama whatsoever and they know what they're doing

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    • 3mo

      Women will never understand dating for men...

  • Sour Grapes springs to mind.

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  • Prostitution is a thing.

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  • You can go online and find an "escort" for like 100$ who will get you off. It's not hopeless.

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  • Never, ever give up...
    That's the last thing you should do. Just keep trying. There is always someone for everybody out there!!! Just keep pushing! One day you will be happy that you have never given up.

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  • Well, change your look and your style. Always have clean shoes. I know that sounds stupid, but women really do judge a man by his shoes. If you're small; go to the gym, lift weights, eat more. If you're big, do the same, but eat less. Style your hair in cool ways. My favorite styles are fohawk and spiky flat top. Just google "attractive men," and look for a style you like. But I hear ya bro, women can be cunts.

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  • My question is how do you come off to those around you?

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  • Yes, most people come to that realization long ago.

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  • What's worth the effort in your daily life?

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    • 3mo

      Um, trying hard in school so that I get good grades and learn, and am able to have a resume to get a good job to make money and make a living?

    • 3mo

      So survival, isn't it?

  • First of all fuck this women trolling you about hookers, k? What does she know about the crushing anxiety of being behind with women? Not saying you should get a hooker but fuck that bitch. Anyway its just that bro. Your just alittle behind the game and as soon as you get this trivial thing your looking for ( you want the sex man, not a companion) your gunna realize its fucking nothing. You need to reevaluate how you see women. As in you need to look for a partner, who you also fuck. Not a person you fuck who is your partner sometimes. Maybe get some dick in your life too, couldnt hurt.

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    • 3mo

      Not about the dick part, but yeah I agree. I want a companion eventually, but I don't know if I'm ready for relationships right now. I'm in a bad state of mind about the women around me, and I just need a break from it

    • 3mo

      Yeah dont get all women hatish, but always always take care of your head first and life sorts itself out. I used to be just like you man. I sincerely hope you get everything sorted out bro. Go awhile just talking to girls without flirting. Just exist with women withoutthe sexual tension bro.

  • Yeah mate, just give up and enjoy whisky. You'll be better off.

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  • And have you and this friend who feels the same way , discussed how you both feel about each other?

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    • 3mo

      We're like brothers, we'd do pretty much anything for each other, except bang, if that's what you're insinuating.

    • 3mo

      Well, we'll give you guys some time to figure it out...

  • I'd suggest you try online dating with extremen honesty. say you're looking for a sex partner. You're open to It growing into more if that happens naturally. But that's what you're looking for to start.

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  • Try being in your thirties and feeling that way.

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    • 3mo

      Hey man, I'm happy we at least feel the same way. It sucks for girls to not like you, but it's not the most important thing in the world. You can still find happiness. I've never had sex or even kissed and I'm 21, and I'm still fairly happy. I can die a virgin and not really care too much. Sure it's a deficiency, but who cares? What positive things do girls bring to our lives anyways? In our cases, the negatives FAR outweigh any potential positives

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