I have a really great friend that never buys her own food but will always eat someone else's food.
For example, when we all go to a restaurant for dinner, everyone in the group will order a couple of appetizers and entrees and then we do family style and share the food. But she will claim that she isn't hungry and might just order a small plate or something for herself. She doesn't share this with the group.
But throughout dinner she will eat just as much, if not more, than anyone else. Even though she says isn't hungry , she will still eat our food. But at the end of dinner, she won't pay for it. She'll just pay for what she ordered.
Does that seem fair to you guys? If someone doesn't contribute to dinner but will eat it still the same? Shouldn't she pay for some of it?
and she's not struggling for money or unemployed or anything. She actually does really well for herself. Help please. Thanks!
Most Helpful Guy
"... everyone in the group will order a couple of appetizers and entrees and then we do family style and share the food."
SMH ugh! Don't you realize that people like your buddy there "invented family style" for that reason lol.
She's an asshole, she knows what she's doing.
I never understood why people enjoy sharing food like this, i fucking hate it.2
Most Helpful Girl
I guess some people think they're just so cute that they can get away with everything. I hate people like this.
"Ohh I'm not hungry... I'm not ordering much..."
If that was said and then I see her pigging out, I would make it obvious, "What happened to your appetite? When you ordered you said you weren't hungry, now you're eating half the food on the table."
Or, the next time going out if she pulls the same nonsense, remind her, "Yeah you said that last time and ate our stuff, remember?"
Another way to stop it, if outing her publicly doesn't work is to agree that everyone pay a percentage of the entire bill, no matter what is ordered. Four of you go out? Simple: You pay 25% of the bill. Can't? Then don't come. You need to make a solid arrangement before going out that this can't continue and to be fair to everyone, you set up a system. Guaranteed that if she finds she has to pay for 25% of the bill, she'll eat her own meal.
Another way to stop it is to find something to do that doesn't involve food. Go for coffees instead. Or, if food is involved, have a potluck, whereby she has to make a casserole or bowl of something to contribute like everyone else.
I would give her these warning signs before just dropping her from these get-togethers so that you can say if nothing else worked, "We've tried to do this, that, and the other thing so you would stop being selfish, but it hasn't worked, which is why we're not calling you to go for food." At least it gives her a chance to shape up.
Maybe even privately, one of you can say, "What's up? We have to pay for this food and we see you eating half of it. Is there a problem? Are you having money trouble? We can always do something else that's cheaper." But let her know that it's noticeable and something that needs to be changed.
If all else fails, then let her find other people to mooch from until she learns in life that it's unappreciated and she should contribute like everyone else does.1