Help my parents are devastated that my brother disowned them; is there any way I can get him to change his mind?

OK when my brother was growing up he was a sweet little boy but as a teenager he suffered from depression and began using drugs to cope. He would get into really bad fights with them and one Friday he seemingly got sick and threw up and then slept all weekend. But Sunday night my mom was taking out the trash to the street but in it she saw an empty bottle of sleeping pills and a suicide note. She confronted him about it and told him to get in the car and she was taking him to the hospital. He said "I'm not going". She then said if you won't go I'll call the police. He still refused and when she did he ran away but the police tracked him down, tackled him and took him to the hospital in handcuffs. He was released after 5 days (he apparently changed his mind about suicide and made himself vomit the overdoes) and for the rest of his time at home he was angry and resentful towards my parents. My parents made him see a therapist who said that he had PTSD from getting handcuffed and his time in the hospital. So as soon as he moved out he disowned my parents, says he hates them and refuses to talk to them but he will still talk to me. I told him he was bring unreasonable and he said "how so, I told Mom and Dad that if they called the police I would never forgive them and they did it anyway, so how am I not justified? Any idea how I can persuade him to reconsider his feelings?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Your brother is depressed. He has been traumatized. He needs help. If he needs to avoid the parents to sort things out, then that's what he needs to do to make peace with it all. You can't push this or else you are going to ruin it. Butt out.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Dude, you really need to let this go. You've gone so far as to make a female account. This is unhealthy.

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What Girls Said 2

  • hey there, my goodness quite a tale to read, such a massive amount of energies bouncing off eachother all around. firstly i feel you, in the middle, not your choice its just where youve ended up and you are feeling like you have the responsibility and perhaps ability to fix the problems. you can't and you need to realise this and accept it because it will do no one any good. having suffered from depression myself i felt your statement to your brother he was being unreasonable understandable but really not appropriate or helpful. your brother may never get past this so if you consider this, all your efforts if you keep trying to change things will be a complete waste of your energy. i have no idea of your family history but the story of the moment he allowed evidence to be found to show his troubled state as a cry for help from your parents and at that point your mum reverted to the police instead ultimately creating a massive traumatic experience at the point in time where your brother had found the strength to release a sign of his suffering. then five days away from his family, i of course understand your mums reaction, im just giving an outside view here, so he came home still depressed and resentful and this then has just built up and up. he still sounds like he needs time to work out how to deal with depression in itself which can take years, and only when he has a better sense of self to be strong enough to even consider his part he played in the events will he be able to allow leeway for your parents. of course just my view point no offence intended if i have... xx how old is he now? and was there specific things at teenage that effected him to suffer from depression? xx

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  • Can't commit suicide with sleeping pills. He just would have slept for a long ass time. I know someone who tried it and failed. He's obviously suffering and needs help though, so it's deeper than just 'disowning' them. He needs therapy.

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    • 2mo

      But he won't get therapy for fear of being sent back.

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    • 2mo

      5 days, but what he's afraid of is that his therapist will try to have him sent to a hospital against his will.

    • 2mo

      They can't do that. It's not legally possible unless he's going to hurt himself or others. If he's just discussing his feelings then he's totally safe.

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