How do I stop feeling this alone?

I recently moved to a new city and I've been very lonely. I left my best friends, my family and everything that kept me stable. I have really bad social anxiety and I dont know how to put myself out there and stop feeling so lonely. I really want to put myself out there and start making new friends and maybe even meet someone to help me stop feeling lonely. But I am so scared of rejection and being left completely alone again. Any tips


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Most Helpful Guy

  • My starter advice would be to work on your self-esteem first. Making friends is tough enough when you move to a new city, but you are going to cause yourself more anxiety if you don’t first deal with your confidence. There are numerous exercises, which can help you improve your self-confidence and this will build up your personal courage as you go out to make friend.

    The next step would be to sit down and make a list of the items you’re interested in. What kind of hobbies do you have that you would like to meet others with similar qualities? Once you know these then you would be able to good Internet searches for what’s in your area that would cater to these hobbies and interest. If you have a Facebook account or other social network accounts you can use these to link to those sites and you can send messages to find out more about them to determine if they really are something you’re interested in.

    If you then have the information listed above and you’ve worked on your social anxiety, then the next step you would or could try would be to go out into your local area and just meet others in person; you could go to a club, social gathering, mixers, raves; these types of places where there is a large group for you to socialize with. Not to mention you can go on other social application sites to get to know others for friendship purposes.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I have social anxiety also, but what helped me was to get involved with community theatre. Sounds counter productive, but thespians can be quite welcoming especially in the community environment. Just volunteer as crew for a production to get your foot in the door. Next thing you know you will be invited to cast and crew parties consisting of a small group of people that you got to know in a safe place over a few months. I have made over 50 friends volunteering at my local theatre and have done everything from, crew to co-directing. A cool side effect is my social anxiety has deminished tremendously.

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What Guys Said 18

  • I was in the Same sitution... I moved to a new city not knowing anyone and working almost 7 days a week being isolated and alone making it very difficult to meet or talk to anyone. I was lucky enough to recconect with a girl who I knew previously and we lost contact only to have her leave her past behind and move on after she finished school which lead to depression and so on.

    I was lucky enough to run into a contractor from work and recconected with a ol high school friend. Im in a new city new where I actualy know people and have some family.

    Work hard on your anxirety by taling to random people if you can like cashiers, waitresses etc and try using meetup. com for similar interests if you have enough courage. I wish you all the best :)

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  • Being alone and not being lonely---I have lived like that for years. You wan't believe it , if I tell you. But it's not that difficult to do. If you want to put me on test , just come to India. Hire any decent house on rent for me to stay. Just provide me the necessities of life like food , clothing and shelter and a TV with cable and Internet connection. I can show that I can live for one month or even a year without feeling lonely. But I need to to compensated with some financial reward for doing so. Accept my challenge and I will show you how not to feel lonely. I am not joking , I am serious. If you are ready to accept my challenge , let me know. i wan't disappoint you because I mean what I say.

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  • See is there any social online forums in your new city - If you make friends on there, you could meet them or they could give you tips on what to do - Maybe try a hobby or a class where you are doing something but it is a social thing as well

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  • It's far easier to do over the internet than in real life, You'll have to force yourself to strike up conversation but If you want o stop feeling alone you should make the conversation a bit deeper like asking them if they've ever been in your situation in short do what you're doing now strike up some advice and try to keep it going as long as possible, pour some of your heart out

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  • This is just what I would do if I was in your position, but I would buy lots of plants.
    Probably not the most helpful idea, but I wish you the best of luck :)

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  • Just get used to the loneliness. It's not that difficult or horrible if you don't dwell on it. I've been a single hermit past 11 years, just found some hobbies (ie video games, watching Netflix, electronics, woodworking, thinking of trying glassblowing classes, etc) besides women or socializing. Other than that if you are in Cincinnati OH and happen to catch me doing my monthly grocery shopping say hi, I promise I won't bite (kinda hard to not notice a male with red hair down past his ass).

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  • Well.. if you are in Miami, I can hang out with you a couple of times to give you a start. I know I'm in the older age bracket, but I can be a good friend and a good listener.

    Otherwise, just go out and sit in Starbucks or some other place that does not have absolutely crazy people. That may help you get over the anxiety. You might even make a good friend or two.

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  • Try to meet people at the mall, club, or park, or use tinder, it's an app that can possibly match u with people u can be friends or more with. Talk to the people u work with

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  • I mean, don't care about new people so much. Like, don't care if they like you or not. It really doesn't matter if some random person doesn't end up liking you. And then the ones that do like you will like you.
    That's how I got over my social anxiety. I mean I know it's not easy to just up and be like "nah social anxiety", but that truly is the way to do it.

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  • It seems to me that you either have to figure out why you have social anxiety or why you're lonely. I know you say you're lonely because of people around you, but you have to figure out why they kept you stable.

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  • Join some sports clubs and hobbies! Also work out and find out WHY you're feeling like that.
    Scared of rejection? Nonsense :p If you get rejected you're rejected not everyone is going to reject you!

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  • your a girl, you have a better chance in getting someone, guys dont.

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  • You really can't you will always feel alone fr awhile if you move to a new city.

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  • Do you have any hobbies?

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  • uh make friends through whatever passion hobby school u moved to my for.

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  • If you have a hobby try to find others who share it. The mutual interest will help break the ice. It can be anything, exercising, reading, movies... surely there's someone who shares your interests who feels the same. Best wishes.

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  • which city tho? if you're in VA hit me up

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  • Well being a female has its advantages, especially if you're attractive, you just need to find social events and put your self out there

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