Travelling with a guy friend, should I explain up front that I only think of him as a platonic friend?

So I am going travelling with a guy friend next year, we just booked tickets yesterday... however we did kinda book in a rush in order to take advantage of a flight deal that was happening. (he said he would be happy to go with me the day before we booked cause I was complaining to him that i wanted to go but none of my close friends were able to go with me).

So now we are travelling together for 3 weeks. I have known him for roughly five years, we met each other through work and still work together. We get along pretty well and I think we'd be alright to travel with platonically. I have had a friend mention to me that she thinks he liked me, however I usually have a pretty good gut feeling if I think someone is interested in me, and I have no gut feeling with him that he's interested. Should I tell him straight up just in case that I have no intentions of turning this into something more than friends or should I just let it go and hope he's on the same wavelength as me?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • i think over the course of time you can sort of make it clear that this is just a platonic thing without specifically saying it. based on your plans and actions towards him you can make it clear that this is not romantic innuendo.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It depends has he been flirting with you? Does he treat you differently than he treats other people? Does he show any signs that he likes you more than a friend? If you answered yes to any of these then he might like like you and you know so you might wamana tell him but you don't have to be straight up about it. But if you answered no to these questions he may just like you as a friend! I personally have gig friends where we both only like each other as friends

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    • 2mo

      I don't think he's been flirting with me. The only thing I'd say he treats me differently is that he's actually happy to work with me. And my friend said that she thinks he likes me because he always lights up when I come into work. However, a lot of the people we work with are downright irritating. So I definitely feel like that could be a friend thing. He doesn't message me outside of work and we only see each other in work group outings outside of work. Which is why I could believe it's friends only

What Guys Said 18

  • I don’t believe you should just let this go. I believe you should direct off any misunderstandings by letting him know now how you appreciate what he’s willing to do for you by traveling with you, but you don’t see him as anything more than just a friend and you hope this won’t offend him, but because of your friendship and not wanting to risk either of you losing the friendship you share, you needed or rather you felt you needed to do this and let him know that nothing more is going to come of this trip than two friends traveling together in that friendship. If he really is your friend he’ll understand and thank you for it and if he---was---expecting more he’ll more than likely get upset or angry or try and laugh it all without actually acknowledging what you’ve said, but either way you’ll know he was thinking this was more than just a friendly trip and you can decide if you still want or need to go through with it. That’s my bottom line.

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  • Ouch! This can be a sticky situation. On one hand, it would be great to get it out ASAP, but if he was indeed hiding feelings from you, he could be bitter the entire trip.

    If you get in a spot where you have to confront this during the trip, it could make things awkward..

    If you have a little bit of time before the trip, like a couple weeks.. I would get it done with now. So in the worst case scenario he can be over it by the time the trip starts.

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    • 2mo

      We don't go until next May so we have a bit of time... should I just hint over the next couple months that this is strictly as friends?

    • 2mo

      I wouldn't hint. Guys tend to gloss over subtle hints in these cases. You have to be fairly clear. If you don't want to be direct, maybe bring up in a conversation you went out with a guy, or you met a guy you are hoping asks you out.. something that tells him you are seeing people. Then gauge his reaction.

  • Just let it go, don't unnecessarily bring up that complication. Just enjoy the trip!

    If he gets frisky, let him know THEN, but don't pre-emptively strike here.

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  • If he's helping you with the trip in anyway guys won't put up with good night see you. in the morning they want action they will become to sexually frustrated

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    • 2mo

      Big mistake book oil Ng your tickets that's a big problem for you

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    • 2mo

      @NoAbyss your a internet troll you hide behind your computer knowing deep down your just a worthless scum bag loser

    • 2mo

      Bringing up a tard like him adds fuel to the fire you made a mistake with the tickets no need to bring in a troll for backing. Friends is the oldest trick in the book. You have a lot to learn girl

  • Yeah you should have told him this before you booked this flight. You better tell him now so he can cancel the flight and he won't have to deal with going on a vacation with someone who doesn't like him back.

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    • 2mo

      It's one of those cheap flight tickets where you have to pay a fortune to either cancel or change the name.

    • 2mo

      Well looks like he may mysteriously cancel on you when he realized this will not be some romantic vacation. He will find some dumb excuse.

  • Yes I think you should be clear about it but I would wait and see how he acts on trip first.

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  • Yes. I don't need to read the rest of your question. Tell him you are platonic. He might already be aware of this, but you don't want to lead him on in the off chance he's not aware of that. Much less awkward to say, hey you know we're platonic right? Then to have him try to make out with the you on vacation

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  • Yes! Especially if you care for him. This could really hurt him or make him angry if you lead or string him along. I don't think you would want to lose a friend. He might be sad at first, but I'm sure he will appreciate in the long run. I hope you do the right thing. Don't hesitate to ask for anymore advice.

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  • Tuff call. Cause saying something just draws lines in the sand and sometimes can make the dynamic change.

    I think if you are currently bouncing off each well, don't ruin that dynamic and just go with it and let it ride throughout the trip. You can deal with if it presents itself.

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  • Yes. Tell him he's not going to get any. He will probably decide not to go. I know I wouldn't

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    • 2mo

      Even if I did like him he wouldn't be getting any 😂 and I'm pretty sure he's well aware of this. I'm a virgin and don't plan on sleeping around with people I'm not in a relationship with.

  • you'll prolly end up liking him or hating him after the trip. u spend enough time with someone eventually you'll find something to love.

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  • What @Prof_Don said.. Hopefully you'll be able to tell if he starts getting "too close."

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  • tell him before going

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  • oh your friend thinks that he likes you? why is that?

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    • 2mo

      Mainly cause he's happy and "lights up" when I come into work, according to her. But we work with a lot of irritating people and he doesn't like most of them, but we get along quite well. I'm happy when I work with him too... doesn't mean I'm interested

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    • 2mo

      tell me I was right once this is all over, it will boost my ego

    • 2mo

      Haha I'll let you know!

  • Wow so let's not go with a guy feeling the point outs in this situation would be if he is looking at u here and there. Or he would be holding your hand.

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  • it's been 5 years. how are you not sure. are you retarded.

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    • 2mo

      We only see each other a couple times a week, and he was super shy the first few years. The only reason he opened up to me was because we worked night shifts together and I'd just talk at him for ages cause I was bored... he eventually just got used to me. Plus he's three years younger than me, we met when he was in high school and I was in university. It never really crossed my mind.

    • 2mo

      wutever. chailmail is aewsome

  • You better because at night night wanna cuddle, and when he starts missing in that neck and ear, it probably hard to resist isn't it?

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    • 2mo

      We aren't sharing any beds. I'm gonna insist on separate beds the whole time.

    • 2mo

      Mmm hmm😉

  • ouch. the friendzone striking will be strong with this one... .

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