Would you care if your children are unattractive?

I'm just curious because my dad truly does seem to mind that I've never been "hot." I've been chubby my whole life (I've always been in a healthy weight range, but had belly fat) and had acne for many years, but I was still "cute" or "average looking." He's always told me to lose weight or do a better job washing my face or whatever (the only thing that truly helped my acne was birth control, which he wouldn't allow for me as a teenager). I just can't figure out why he would even care lol.

So would you care if your children weren't very good looking? Is it because of pride in your genes or something?

  • Yes I would care
    21% (12)48% (30)35% (42)Vote
  • Yes, only if my daughters were unattractive
    2% (1)8% (5)5% (6)Vote
  • Yes, only if my sons were unattractive
    2% (1)2% (1)2% (2)Vote
  • No I would not care
    56% (32)25% (16)40% (48)Vote
  • See results
    19% (11)17% (11)18% (22)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Its not about attractiveness is more about you are a representation of your parents. So they want you to look good and presentable at times. Parents don't wanna have the message of "well if that's how they let her wear those clothes, look, not clean herself, whatever they must be bad parents"

    Your dad's a little insane I could of told you birth control would of helped and I'm no doc lol but as far as acne and him to tell you to wash your face thats an old school way of handling it. They didn't have thing aback then for bad acne. You wash your face and it clears up if you don't you dealt with it cuz it would go away later in life. Loosing weight too. Oh you just workout and it falls off. Nope thats not right either. 80% diet.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • No. I don't plan to have kids, but if I did, I wouldn't care. I had to grow up with my mother calling me ugly all the time. She used to get angry with me for being ugly and looking like my father. It made me feel like crap because I didn't choose to be ugly, and my own mother was making me feel bad about it. So I would never make my children feel bad for that.

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What Guys Said 28

  • Why is your dad being like that? Criticise your own kid's for not being goodlooking that really bothers me. But no i would not care if my kid's were goodlooking or not genetics are part of life you have to learn to live with yourself and love yourself, and a parent should be supportive and give positive enlightenment. And most importantly a parent should love their kid no matter what. You also say you've struggled with weight and acne a lot of people do it's not that big of a deal it passes, weight can be fixed but you shouldn't lose weight for someone you should do it for you if it will help benefit you in the long run. It's sad to hear how your dad views thing's love your kid no matter what.

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    • 2mo

      Yeah I started losing weight last month just for me, but I've noticed I've had these random thoughts as I look at my progress, like I feel like I'm actually starting to get his approval.

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    • 2mo

      Oh yeah, I'm not down on myself or anything lol. I like the way I look most of the time; it's my dad who has seemed unhappy with it 😊

    • 2mo

      Well that's good as long as you feel good about yourself then awesome. Don't doubt the average looks. Lol

  • I care.

    Well I guess part of it could be pride but part of it is also wanting them to have the best shot of a happy life. It is undeniable that being unnatractive is a disadvantage in most aspects of life. They are more likely to be mocked and ridiculed by their peers, have a harder time making friends, more likely to struggle with dating, less likely to be confident in themselves and are even at a disadvantage when it comes to finding a job.

    I wouldn't want my kids to go through all that for something they had no control over. So obviously I would prefer for them to be conventionally attractive.

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    • 2mo

      So if your kids were average looking but were otherwise happy and well adjusted in life, what then?

    • 2mo

      Well I still prefer for them to be attractive but I wouldn't be as bothered compared to if they were unnatractive or miserable.

    • 2mo

      Seems kinda shallow but okay :/

  • I would care, BUT your father is off the charts because being cute / average looking is one of the best things to be!

    I'd be happy with average. Unattractive is bad though. Having a not-flat belly doesn't make you inherently unattractive.

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  • Parents tend to have a warped sense. They all think their kids are beautiful, original, intelligent beings destined for greatness.

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  • it wouldn't change how i felt about them. but i would have concerns about how they may be treated throughout life

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  • I would kind of care, but for different reasons. I would want my children to enjoy life and have a chance with the opposite sex. As shallow as it may sound, attractive people do have an easier time in life and I would want for my children to enjoy that benefit as well. I do not want for my sons to have no success with women whatsoever or for my daughter to feel ostracized as the ugly girl. I would encourage each of my children to look their best, granted, I would always love them just the same.

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  • No, I wouldn't care about my child's looks beauty is in eyes of the beholder
    and beauty is skin deep. I just want a healthy child, I want them to inherit
    my beautiful personality. I loved to have a daughter or son to love nothing
    would stop my love for them. Parents should never give their child a complex
    about their appearance. I am handsome guy well been told but i will never
    date a girl whose real pretty cause It's just not for me. I like a girl with a
    beautiful personality is what matters to me.

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  • Nahhh , everyone should have an ugly duckling phase , it's very character building.

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  • No child of mine would be unattractive.. Kidding kidding. It wouldn't bother me. I care more about who they are as people.

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  • My 2 are in my picture , luckily for them , they don't look like me !! My son is a bit of both my ex & myself , my little lady has the full Italian genes from her mother , with a dash of my own mum , she is entirely her female lineage. Steve Tyler ( Aerosmith , regarded as a bit ugly ) produced Liv Tyler , it's a genetic lottery. I would treat them the same , regardless of looks !!

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  • I wouldn't... I would teach them to be sweet and spontaneous, that's much more important that attractive :D

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  • I would like my kids to be attractive but will still love them either way and not pick on them, I got lucky with my 3 daughters since they get compliments all the time

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  • If you are attractive, you are usually more successful with the opposite sex, and therefore happier. Parents want their children to be happy.

    He also probably wanted to ensure that you found a partner so that he would have grandchildren one day.

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    • 2mo

      Anybody can have kid's man, good genetics or not.

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    • 2mo

      That was directed at ShortCircuit lol. I agree with you Chris! 😊

      But yeah, if that was really my dad's worry, he would have given my brother a harder time than me. I had a very active dating life as a teenager and my brother didn't get his first girlfriend until he was 22 (although he married her lol, so guess he won that race 😂).

    • 2mo

      Oh my bad lol, your brother was the underdog in marriage race 😁

  • I would love them the same way regardless of how attractive/unattractive they were. It'd be shitty of a parent to love their kid less if they're unattractive.

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  • If I'd say my *non-existent* daughter that she's not attractive and she should do something about it, wouldn't that make it unhappy?

    I wouldn't care whether she/he were attractive or not.

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  • You do pretty much want the absolute best for your kid no matter what it is.
    If a parent knows a kid can improve something and aren't living up to their full potential that can make them feel like failures as parents.

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  • I voted A by mistake, but I will clarify that I would want them to be good looking but I won't care about it much

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  • No i wouldn't care, my future kids will probably be idiots, but theyll be my dumb idiots

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  • maybe

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  • if I was goign to ever have kids as long as they were healthy and happy I'd be cool

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  • I'd care if their personalities are unattractive.

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  • no cause parents love there kids either way
    most of the time lol

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  • I would care, but I wouldn't gub them about it.

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  • I would care that they would have it tougher. That it

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  • As long as they know whats going on.

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  • i do not care ether way because to total beauty is in the inside

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  • what is this, not sparta?

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1 private opinion(s)
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What Girls Said 14

  • I would... And my parents do and all parents do - no matter what they say...
    They do.

    For both sons and daughters, but the daughters get the worst of it...

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    • 2mo

      (But that won't affect their love for the kid, just their fear of how others might or might not accept them and how they'll be treated differently.)

    • 2mo

      Yeah lol, my older brother was also very average looking (acne, tall, lanky, nerdy, glasses) but he didn't get the same criticism from my dad that I did... but that's another can of worms 😛

      I mean my dad and I have a whole laundry list of problems in our relationship; I just didn't really understand why my appearance was one of them lol.

    • 2mo

      It's mostly to do with their fear of how society is going to accept you... and treat you...
      (Men's appearence is more valued in strength, while a woman's in aesthetics... )

  • Its your children! Who the heck cares? Only shallow and superficial people who are naturally jealous and envious besides selfish would think of such things. It proves that they don't love their kids. Looks doesn't matter. You gave birth to them, LOVE THEM! I stay away from people who acts twisted like that.

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  • I mean every parent will see their kids different than how other people do, If my children were considered to be unattractive to others I wouldn't really care but I'd care more about how they feel, its harder growing up in your teens, you go through that awkward looking stage, however I don't think my kids will be unattractive. *knock on wood* lol.

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    • 2mo

      Hard to predict! My mom is gorgeous in every sense of the word, and my dad was pretty handsome back in the day. They had two very awkward looking teenagers and average looking adults.

    • 2mo

      LOL. I think my mum is pretty, I can't say the same about my father :P

  • I think everyone wants attractive children - it's biological, actually.

    However, I don't think, given today's new value system (not just on the ability to find a future mate like other animals), it's more important that other qualities are better and more desirable.

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  • I guess I voted no I don't care about it but if I think that they are doing something harmful to them self like eating and not exercising, or something like that... yes. real parents don't let their kids kill themselves.

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  • Looking at the results of the poll all I can say is wtf guys

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  • Purely an academic question since I'm not going to have children. On the one hand, as someone with self-image issues, I would hope that I could treat looks as superficial. On the other hand, there have been studies (or at least I have heard of them, use the Web to see if you can find them) that show attractive people have more opportunities and earning power. So I guess I would hope for attractiveness for the child's sake, but not get hung up on it if it didn't turn out.

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  • My father do the same with me. Every time I had acne he would always critic me and said I look like a calculator. I used to eat at mcdo one time per week then I start growing up a lot and take pounds and he said to me I was allowed to go here more than one time per month because I would be an unattractive fatty girl. He tell me too I look like a hamster with my cheek :(

    I think he only want me to be the most attractive because like this I wouldn't be getting laugh at or mock by other people.

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  • yes I would care
    I want them to look and be the best way they can.
    having a healthy and active lifestyle is part of it

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  • I wouldn't care.

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  • There my kids. I'd love them regardless.

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  • My kids will be beautiful.

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    • 2mo

      That wasn't my question.

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    • 2mo

      Lol I appreciate it. But I definitely was awkward looking until at least 17 years old. And still, I'm very average unless I'm all fixed up! My older brother still is awkward looking.

    • 2mo

      Lmao were all awkward looking at that age.

  • As long as they are healthy it's all that matters to me.

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  • Tbh I care... I'm scared that *if I have kids Lol they'll be ugly, weird, and socially inept.

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    • 2mo

      Nobody is truly ugly, and god bless those people who have crap thrown at them for being the so-called ugly one, it takes tough skin to take all the insults thrown at you.

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    • 2mo

      No and not everybody who is socially inept is unhappy. Some people don't actually feel so insecure they need to impress people who won't even be in your life when they find partners. You sound like a shallow child.

    • 2mo

      @HappierThanYou Lol I'm a grown woman who can control her emotions, is confident in herself, and is strong minded. I don't need to impress anyone. I don't know who bullied you and made you think that but you need to change the way you think. I gave an option and I answered this question. If that bothers you and the op I don't really care!

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