On a scale of 1 to 10, how defensive are you when talking to other people?

When I say defensive, I don't mean physically (though being aware of your surroundings so you can defend yourself if need be, is not a bad thing). However, the kind of defensive I mean is mentally and emotionally. Do, you find yourself having to constantly explain yourself and defend the things that have happened in your life or that you do or don't do, to people. So, than you just always expect someone to be judgmental with you (like other people have been ), which leads you automatically defending yourself and life just because that's usually what ends up happening.

That's the kind of defensive I'm talking about.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I generally don't feel defensive (2), but there are some times that I get caught off guard.
    I'll say this though. How we think and feel is about the only thing we that we have true control of. Other people will try to get me to imagine that they have control over that, but they don't and they can't cause me to feel that way unless I participate in the process (accepting what they've said or investing in an emotion). I think its important for people to make peace with their past and forgive themselves for what they've done. Why should past mistakes effect the present/future in a negative way too. The way I look at it, everyone that I come in contact with in my life can potentially benefit from having a better me. I don't want to delay that progress by dwelling over things that I can't change. I'll learn from my mistakes and do the best to make the most out of this moment.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • At my age, I don't feel it's appropriate to have to explain myself to anyone, honestly. It's hard to give that a number.

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What Guys Said 16

  • I get around by not caring what people think of me (in a good way) - I care more about how I feel about myself before I consider how other people perceive me, I think that is one of the most important thing in life.

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  • I used to be like that and then I realized that most people aren't worth the effort.
    But what do I know, that is just my opinion

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    • 2mo

      No, what you say makes perfect sense. People actually tell me that a lot.

    • 2mo

      Just remember that a lot of people can only build themselves up by tearing others down. In other words then can't go up the ladder of life so they pull others that they can reach off the ladder before they go up to far and can't be reached, leaving that person, eventually, alone and unlistened to.

    • 2mo

      Wow, that's very insightful. Solid advice I should listen to.

  • Usually very casual, but it can depend on the subject. I never curse or anything, though.
    Either 🙄 or 😒. lol

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  • About an 8... when I believe passionately in something I tend to defend my thesis, position as long as I have to to bring out my point...

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  • I usually don't have any problems with people in practical life. But on internet i do get defensive some times because people unknown to me talk to me in stupid ways.

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  • Well sometimes if i get extremely angry i will switch the mode to physicaly and the defensive will be 8-9

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  • sometimes 7 or 9 but most of the times 0

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  • im not defensive

    its just if anyone makes a claim
    i want written
    and visual evidence for the claim

    if not all i hear are lies

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  • Not at all

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  • more aggressive than defensive
    i would say 80 aggressive and 20 defensive

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  • I'm not defensive! I'm NEVER defensive once in my life! Get off my back, jeez!

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  • I tend to be a sassy bitch. Says my little sister lol

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  • 2 i dont give a damn

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  • depends.. maybe.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I wouldn't say I'm defensive at all, it usually depends on the situation. I don't really feel the need to explain myself further and elaborate. When I would somehow feel defensive for fear of being judged, I would keep quiet
    and refuse to talk.

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  • Off the charts.

    I'm lying, probably like 7

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