I'm a bit confused gender-wise. I think about being a girl all the time but I like being a male?

about 2 years ago I started really fantasising about being a female. I kept it at that though, just in my head. Then about 6 months ago I took my opportunity and I went into my sisters wardrobe and took a dress and some underwear, I needed to know how I felt. I put them on and looked in the mirror and immediately felt free. When I lay on my bed topless I would imagine having breasts. I would think about being a girl loads and loads throughout the day.

This is would be okay but I'm happy being a male. I don't not like being a male or even think that I'm not a male, I just wish I was born a girl.

So, what do you think. I'm kind of conflicted. I could get a sex change but maybe I would just get depressed and suicidal if I didn't like the outcome. So I am completely confused and unsure about what I want to do.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I am not a professional, but I've had experience with this because one of the women I dated was born a male and my boyfriend's kid brother is going through the same thing so I'm going to address it.

    The fact that you have no problem with being male means that you shouldn't even remotely consider genital reassignment surgery (or, as many people call it, "a sex change.") You wouldn't be able to get it, anyway, at least not without going to a country with poor standards of care, because all a therapist would have to hear is that you're happy being a male before they close the door on that altogether.

    GRS is irreversible. It's not like you can try it out, decide you don't like it, and have everything put back the way it was (contrary to popular belief portions of the male genitalia are retained and reshaped into female genitalia, but so much of it is discarded that if you did have it put back you'd make a newborn look like John Holmes next to you).

    The desire for breasts is something you can explore easily. Not built-in, because hormone replacement therapy (or HRT) isn't something to be taken lightly, either. It's easier to reverse than GRS but you're young, you may decide you want a family some day, and in addition to things never working the same again even after stopping it will render you irreversibly sterile. Implants are difficult to come by, too, because my ex-girlfriend had been on HRT for ten years or more and as long as she kept her pants on looked every bit a woman, but she absolutely could not find a surgeon to give her implants.

    But there are ways you can experience having breasts if you don't mind being limited to only having the experience while wearing a bra. My boyfriend and I took his brother (with their parents' consent) to a bra store that sells mastectomy supplies.

    He's perfectly happy being a boy but he cried for days when he realized that the puberty fairy wouldn't hand him a set of breasts and, since he was just as upset two years later, his parents decided to buy him some for his 15th birthday if we would drive him the two hours to the store.

    That ended two years of depression that not even the teasing at school can bring back (yes, he does wear them to school. He wears them from the time he gets up until he goes to bed) and he's not constantly talking about how jealous he is of his girlfriend anymore.

    You'll want to get silicone. They have the same weight and motion as natural breasts. The bra and prostheses will run ~$360.

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    • 2mo

      I don't think I will explore it. I think it was more I would just prefer to be a girl from birth. Like if someone said you could be a male or female type thing and then I think that I just took that idea and my imagination went into overdrive. The truth is that I love being a man and all of the perks of it. I think that I just need to forget about it now because I am torturing myself with what could have been. I is nice to tell someone though. I have never told anyone and I don't think I ever wil. (Anyone I know that is). It's just my little secret. But it genuinely feels good to have got it out.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I've the same problem. i enjoy being a man, i believe that i was born to be a man, butttt i often have wanting to be a girl, tendencies. dk why

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    • 2mo

      Thank you so much. It's nice to see your not the only one.

What Girls Said 1

  • Find a hobby?

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    • 2mo

      I have many hobbies but how would this help in this particular situation?

    • 2mo

      Delve more deeply into them then…

      I think it would occupy your mind with more important things in life than worrying about the type of body you happen to have (that is just necessary to carry out your day-to-day functions). I mean, I don't know if this will help, but I personally think that if something seems pointless to worry about… it's not worth it. I am a girl and that's fine, but I'd be completely fine with being born a guy. And even if I wasn't fine with it, I realize that you can't always get what you want in life. Besides, it's much better to have something that is real than something that is fake, unless that thing isn't working properly. … Just be happy it is working properly.

What Guys Said 3

  • what is your sexuality

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    • 2mo

      I'm straight. I've watched gay porn once to see how I would react and it made me feel sick.

    • 2mo

      ok, any change could be difficult in that respect then

    • 2mo

      That's irrelevant. Sexual orientation as an indicator is archaic, outright harmful, and thankfully on its way out.

      I dated a MtF who exclusively liked women. When she lived as a he he was straight. When she transitioned she was a lesbian. Not even a hint of bi-curiosity.

      I know several FtMs who exclusively like men. The ones who are still largely in the closet are seen as heterosexual women. The ones who are out are seen as gay men.

  • Well, there were times when I felt the same way, 20 ago months maybe.
    But then I got over it with time. Now its like 'I'm a guy, cool. I were a girl, still cool. Either is fine.
    If only I could switch to either at will'.

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  • If I could choose, I would choose to be a girl... but we can't choose... We were born guys, it's something we have to accept and embrace.

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    • 2mo

      trannys are born trannys, they just dont learn to accept it, until they've learned to accept it

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