Keep getting rejected, don't even want to try anymore?

Lately I've been feeling pretty down about girls. I've never had a girlfriend, but have had plenty of friends who are girls. I've been lead on way too many times and turned down a lot too. I just can't seem to understand the girls who act like they like you, ask to hang out, and then blow you off. The girls who say you're really cool, and when you ask them on a date they act petrified and literally run away from you. I'm just really frustrated. The other day I inexplicably asked a random girl who I was sort of friends with if she wanted to hang out and she said she'd totally be up for grabbing lunch or coffee sometime but isn't sure when it'd happen. I was feeling kind of happy that she wanted to, but I don't actually like her in a romantic way at all. I don't even want to do it, but I'd feel kind of bad if I never followed through. She's really cool and maybe I'd eventually feel something for her, so I figure I'll at least do it. The latest thing though that really sent me over the edge: Girl really liked me in a class a year ago. She talked to me every day in class, smiled at me, flicked her hair, all the signs. The following semester we were in another class, but a much tougher one. i asked her to help with homework a couple of times and we stayed in touch very often about it to help each other, but towards the end of that class she acted like she hated me for no good reason. The few times I've seen her this year she's acted scared or annoyed and either says hi in a really hateful voice or just looks away and starts walking fast. I was really into her too, and now I just feel deflated. This happened a lot in high school too. No reason why, no closure, and no clarity. I've been way into academics so I wouldn't have much time anyways for a relationship, but it makes me feel like less of a man. Girls that I like never like me for whatever reason, so I think accepting that will at least allow me to take the loss and find happiness elsewhere.


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What Girls Said 1

  • Are you always going for the same "type" of girl? You could just change things up and check out other chicks. It could be that you are too intense, keep it light, don't rush into labelling things dates or relationships. Show interest, but don't wear your heart on your sleeve.

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    • 2mo

      You can't change wool you attracted to tho

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    • 2mo

      I know. I just feel really negatively right now because I always end up feeling like there's something between a girl and I, and as soon as I get enough hope again, things just come crashing down and I have to start from ground zero. Every. Time. I haven't really learned anything because honestly I don't think I ever do anything "wrong." It's such crap, and I'm sick of being hurt and feeling alone. So I think not getting involved with girls is what's best for at least a little while

    • 2mo

      Sounds like a good plan.

What Guys Said 2

  • when they are being friends with you for a few days, blow them off. plus never ask a girl out, let them come to you.

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  • I think going out of your way for a relationship is pointless. When it happens, it will happen. I never chased a relationship but I managed to get into one for a brief period of time. Focus on your academics and yourself.

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    • 2mo

      Yeah I haven't wasted too much time on it, but I feel like when I do try I end up putting way more than I should into it. I'm still on a good track though, likely going to get my Masters next year. Before I met this last girl I never had any intentions of getting into a relationship in college, but there was just something about her that really intrigued me. Oh well. It'll never happen and I need to accept that

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