This is actually kind of a sad question but I want to know, What is it like to have self esteem?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Liberating, but I only have high self-esteem in a few areas of my life... but you should too... self-esteem can come from things you are good at (it helps if you can admit you're good at it), and I think you wouldn't have reached Guru level if you weren't good at something...

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Bro, it call comes down to realizing everybody's an asshole. Maybe my job brings me to too many Walmarts where I see the dregs of society in droves and it's over-inflated my opinion of myself, but just knowing I'm not that guy who thinks it's acceptable to go to Walmart in pajama pants and a stained wife-beater gives me a leg up on an all-too-significant portion of the population. I feel great before I even get done assessing these people on a physical level. Once you get digging and see how stupid people are too, you feel even better about what you bring to the table. I know this all sounds mean, but let's keep it real one time. Not even saying I'm the best of the best, but self-esteem starts with realizing you aren't the worst of the worst either.

    Rule #2: fuck everybody. Obviously give everyone basic and decent human respect, but also remember that these other people are flesh and bone with all kinds of flaws and insecurities that they've outwardly hidden and masked with false confidence and bravado, just like you and me. So don't worry so much about how they assess you, just try to impress yourself.

    Approval from others is all bullshit. Take my job for example: most days I'm out trying to make sales or do quality control checks at stores and shaking hands and fake laughing at the lame jokes of said stores' management. I get dressed up nice, a sport coat and a pocket square, a sweater and tie, maybe even a full suit. Random people on the street tell me I look good as I walk by. Other days, I help out my staff with heavy delivery workloads or covering guys who are out. Those days I wear a raggedy company polo and shorts, and I'm dusty and grimy from soot and dirt on the boxes that come from the warehouse, and I'm on the sales floor putting product on the shelves. The way I get treated by people -- store management, store associates, customers, the person at the counter of wherever I stop for lunch-- NIGHT AND DAY. When I'm dressed up, people call me "sir", as I said before, randos will compliment my outfit, and workers in the stores I go to sometimes just say "hello, sir" in passing for no reason. People think I'm wicked important and I can feel them uncomfortably fumbling around and trying to impress me. In the ratty polo and shorts, no one pays me any mind. Management and associates alike at these stores treat me like a fucking clown. Point is, at 5 o'clock, I'm just Steve The Guy again, not Steve The Executive or Steve The Unskilled Laborer, but...

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    • 2mo

      ... depending on what day or what time it is, I'm perceived completely differently. The obvious conclusion: it's all bullshit, nobody is any better than anyone else, and we have no reason to believe we're any exception to that rule. So just walk around like you're no better or worse than the next guy, and you're good👍

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    • 1mo

      Lets just say my mother found some serious shit in the milk fridges at CVS

    • 1mo

      Oh shit, duly noted, haha. I actually work for a food company that just has product there, so I have to visit the stores and make sure my staff is handling business👍

What Girls Said 11

  • Self-Esteem puts you in a place of relaxation. Being able to walk down the street with your held up and shoulders back. Be content sitting alone in a crowded room. It feels like no one can hurt you or get to you because you have built this barrier around you called self love. You have enough respect for yourself that you know when to walk away from people who try to make you feel bad about yourself.

    You can definitely get to this same place that I am at. I used to have no self-esteem when I was your age. It does take a lot of dedication and work, but it is possible. There are ups and downs along the way, I won't lie. Some days you think you are almost there, and then you slide back a little. But eventually you get there. You have to come up with a system that rewires how you think about and approach the world. Mine was keeping two journals.

    First journal was a positive and negative list of how I viewed myself. Everyday, I would either add something to the positive list or flip a negative quality into a good quality. I would only remove the bad quality when I had started to believe the flipped version and no longer thought the bad quality mattered. I continued this until I had nothing left in the negative column.

    The second journal was what I called my OMG journal. Every morning I forced my self first thing to sit outside and write down 2 positive Observations, 1 Mantra, and 2 things I was Grateful for. At the end of the day I would only journal the good things that happened that day. If I felt nothing good happened, I simply didn't write it down. Eventually, I noticed that I started to see the positive side of things much easier and it has become almost second nature.

    Hope this helps

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  • When you have self-esteem you can accept compliments.
    I remember, once my classmate at maths class was very surprised how I took compliments, she said that in my place she would get red on her face and feel awkward because of her shyness.
    But when you are confident you can take compliments cause you know that they are kind of true.

    You like yourself the way you are, you always get opposite sex's attention, not because you look like Adriana Lima or Brad Pitt, but because you like who you are and no one can leave that confidence without attention and admiration.

    When you have self-esteem you like to do something yourself, I mean, you take responsibilities, cause you trust yourself, you think that you are the right person to do some responsible things. You believe in yourself and make others believe in you as well.

    When you have self-esteem You can easily admit that you were wrong, being self-confident doesn't mean to believe that you are always right. That kind of "confidence" is stupid and even worse than having low self-esteem.

    When you have self-esteem you can make friends easily and make people think that you are a positive person.

    That's how it works for me, so everyone has their ups and downs, but It is main to remember your worth. That's the main difference between insecure and confident people, insecure people do not know how worthy they are, but the fact that they do not know their worth doesn't change the fact that they are just as worthy as everyone else.

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  • I can't speak for everyone-but one word for me, transient. One minute there's a pep in my step, and I'm feeling good... the next I'm anxious and feel like people are looking at me... judging me..."why did I wear this outfit today... I was supposed to look good today, this isn't the best me I can be" It sucks. Most times it's ok, but I think I also have mild social anxiety because it really flares up when I have to walk alone in a group of strangers... like to class everyday, multiple times a day.
    The good thing :) it DOES get better. And there are ways to feel better, I wear shades a lot to hide my face more and allow me the ability to move in the crows without feeling so anxious.

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  • I read this recently and it really helped me:
    "All people can be assured of themselves by accepting who they are. That’s a simple, powerful truth. Nobody can challenge your confidence in being who you are and living accordingly because nobody knows you like you know yourself. This is great because now your confidence isn’t based on anything flaky like how many compliments you get or if you feel ignored; it’s based on your assuredness that you are [INSERT YOUR NAME HERE]; it’s about your value as a unique person."
    Quoted from stephen guise blog

    My take is that it is about knowing you are intrinsically valuable just by being alive and being you. We all have something unique to contribute to the world. You have an important reason for being here. A role to play. We all do.

    Hope this helps.

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  • It's nice because you don't put up with being mistreated. You realize you deserve consideration.

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    • 2mo

      That sounds nice, doubt I'll ever have any but hey what am I going to do

    • 2mo

      I used to have none. I'm slowly getting there. There is hope for us. 😃

  • Good question, never had it before

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  • It must be a really confident assuring feeling about yourself

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  • Wish I knew

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  • Never had any...

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  • No clue. :(

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  • I forget.

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What Guys Said 9

  • Self esteem is relative, friend - Even coming on here and interacting with us shows you have self esteem - If you had no self esteem, you would feel not worthy to talk to us - Okay next, nobody is better or worse than anyone else, we are equal - I have self esteem coming out of my ears, you are equal to me therefore you have great self esteem too, you just haven't realised it yet.

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  • to not only not caring what people think, but liking yourself-enjoying your own company... it's like a bit of a light you have on that makes others notice you.

    I had no self esteem during and through the end of my marriage, it was stolen from me. It's a horrible feeling. But esteem is up to you. Keeping it is about boundaries.

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  • I have no clue myself. But I do think that someone with self esteem will be unable to explain to you what it is. For example, yourself. Since you've never had it, you don't know the difference, and thus cannot know it. But since they have it, neither do they know how it is to lack it, and cannot explain it.

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    • 2mo

      Some of us that can explain it are only able to do so because we do now how it is to lack it. Read my response to this question, it might just give you some hope.

  • You feel proud of yourself, and you're happy with who you are. You also don't let the negativity of other people ruin your day.

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  • I think your just having a bought of depression
    I notice you often do
    Your my fav guy On here! Self esteem means you realize how special you are. How much you deserve

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  • It's great. But it doesn't just magically come to you, it takes hard work, blood, sweat, and tears.

    Most people leave that part out.

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  • It feels like no one could hurt your feelings or mess with u tbh

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  • It's great.

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  • I wouldn't know actually

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