What should I do with my life? 😔?

I can't put up with my mom and sis. They always try to put me down and say that i can't do shit in life and im worthless... When im always the one helping my mom out and everything, and sometimes im worn out and i tell her im tired shell come and say smart ass comments like "oh you werent too tired to go drink with your friends"! Wtf this woman was absent from me and till i was 15 and got remarried 😔...

I know i fucked up by letting my schooling go to make money at a low paying job in another town to try to pay off debt, and was with an abuser on and off from Nov to May...

But still it's no reason to put me down cuz of it, the past is the past... It's just that now that i graduated high school and all, all my friends are either at school or having kids, and im almost 20, and the only friends i have they live far and i dont have money to go see them all the time cuz i had to quit the strip club cuz my parents found out and now my doctor put me on mental bed rest from starting new things in my life till i felt better, and made me take other meds since the other ones are no help, cuz im bipolar II and i did some foolish things this year by taking a year off..

I can't help that without the bp meds im scatterbrained, erratic, and irritable... Im pain from having absent parents, im always alone and was always dating abusers cuz i was so alone and seems like everyone is too busy or too far... I was also bullied at school for being black since i moved to the suburbs at 15, i also sometimes wished i had kids just so i won't be alone... I always had a passion for makeup and hairstyling but couldnt bare w/paperwork again..

I hate my life. Its hell. I live in the suburbs where there's nothing that goes on and everyone at the suburbs, It's always been me and my phone/me and my books growing up cuz no one in my family wanted to spend time with me... now i just think of going back into stripping cuz i try and can't find a real job...


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What Guys Said 1

  • I am sad to know that you are facing some rough times. Even your past was not so good. I think you should get more attached to God and do some meditation and yoga. That can help you to turn your life around.

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