Should I quit this job? I really would appreciate your insight?

I started an unpaid internship. I am very careful to dress and act conservatively as it's all men.

One of them used the c word indirectly and I wasn't sure if it was aimed at me. I confided in the only girl (entry level) analyst there.

Without my permission she brought it up to the senior person. They called me to his office and without giving me a chance to talk, were patronizing me saying it's the workplace get used to it. When I tried explaining my side, saying I wasn't sure who that man was, he said, the same way you are thinking who is he, he is thinking, "who are you?"

It made me think he's trying to say, you're nothing you're just an intern. I don't mind the job, but now I absolutely hate the place after I had to listen to all that nonsense.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You want to leave after hearing one comment ( that you're not even sure was aimed at you)? OK it's unpaid, but the experience and skills you'll gain will probably be a golden ticket in the future, in terms of your career and level of earning. I would say you need to 'grow a thicker skin', especially if you're attractive because in an office full of men the majority will always judge you based on your looks.

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    • 1mo

      Of course, that's why I purposely look bad.

      Hence I am starting to feel disgusted.

      Also it's actually not about that one comment, it's about how this 'boss' person (what a joke) handled the whole thing.

      He didn't even let me talk, he was trying to 'show me his power' (again what a joke) and say 'who are you,' as a means to display my place.

      So the irritating thing is that he is well aware he can get away with acting like this because I am employed by them not the other way around. I know this.

      I am almost wondering how long this whole thing plays out before something serious happens, like some kind of heated argument.

      I have henceforth decided to keep my phone with me at all times, that's how wary I am of this whole place and the people who work there.

    • 1mo

      No way am I gonna defend sexism, which is what it sounds like you're experiencing. But I do think you'll become more comfortable with the environment before long. At the end of the day it's a new environment, you're always gonna feel a bit sensitive and reactive early on

What Guys Said 4

  • well is this something you really need rn? or can you move on to other/better things?

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    • 1mo

      I am actually a new graduate and working as an unpaid intern. So it already sucks because it's not of my level. On top of it, I feel as though because I tolerated him saying those things, he is doing it more.

      Like the other day he went on to swear in front of me, knowing I hate it, (almost on purpose), was indirectly talking on the phone saying "This business person is just not capable etc." and I don't know if part of that was aimed at me.

      I do know that the other partner who is much more educated than this guy really values my work and told me he's seen some of it and I did a great job.

      So I'm 90% sure this guy has some kind of grudge against me and is purposely trying to undermine me/get under my skin.

      The real problem actually is that I told someone about it and they are now using it against me, as a way to say 'ha ha look your own boss doesn't respect you, why should I?'

      I realized I'm the one whose letting them disrespect me by staying there. That's actually what's reall

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    • 1mo

      The other partner came up to me and told me that he saw some of my work and I was doing a great job.

      So really this idiot, I don't care about him respecting me because his grudge against me is personal.

    • 1mo

      exactly. in this case, you just do you.

  • The noble thing would be to quit, and it's respectable. Its also the stupid thing to do because of you quit every time someone insults you or disrespects you, you'll always be unemployed.

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    • 1mo

      See this is the part that I'd like to clarify.

      I thought about why this guy acted the way that he did. I realized that he thinks I need this job otherwise why would a fresh graduate work an internship, one designed for upper year students not new graduates, for free?

      So he thinks the ball is in his court and he can treat me however and I wouldn't really say something back.

      In addition, I'm actually a 'rich' person and am aware that my dressing can play a huge role in the way that people interact with me, because a lot of the time I actually look rich.

      That being said, because this place is filled with men, I purposely try to look bad, because I'm so not comfortable being myself over there.

      I additionally made the mistake of telling my relative that this happened and now she uses it against me as a way to further disrespect me, because to her it's like my boss treated me that way and I'm still working there.

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    • 1mo

      well this guy doesn't know you personally, so he can't dislike you as a person. He may be envious of you. Jealous and insecure about his own work. Why? I don't know. Only he would be able to tell you that.

    • 1mo

      I think he is jealous of my confidence. He is also definitely insecure about his work as he keeps trying to brag about hte businesses he works with around me. I tune him out.

  • I'd quit, its unpaid you'll find another. Free labour is easy for bosses to take

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    • 1mo

      Do you think they can 'fire me?'

      I do not think that they are above doing that no matter how good my work is. I insulted this guy's ego and I can see him as quite capable of retorting back just because of that.

      In the past he has shown to display similar behaviour of being petty.

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    • 1mo

      Ya no problem

    • 1mo

      Okay thank you.

  • don't quit. stay a while, learn as much as you can.

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