Finding out someone you know has a criminal record?

Whenever I meet someone who I like or am hoping to befriend, I admit that I run a quick online search. Never with the intention to "uncover" anything; I just am curious to see what they're interested in, involved in, etc.

There have been several occasions where I've come across mugshots and records... drug offense/felony, aggravated assault... and I never bring it up - we all have pasts, so whatever. Sometimes I just wonder what world I'm about to enter, and who they actually are. I try to get to know them for how our interactions are, but I do end up thinking about things I've found, though...

I mean, aggravated assault... man. I don't know.

How would you handle this? I didn't grow up around people who had run-ins or arrests... maybe I'm just overthinking.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • All a criminal record tells you is how many times a person has been caught or been set up... It doesn't tell you anything about a person's character...

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    • 1mo

      That's why I try not to judge someone by it (within reason.) I know that there are many variables at play, many factors, and the people that I see in these situations are always pleasant individuals. But I still don't know them well. And... I just... gosh... assault?

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    • 1mo

      It was aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. I guess without him telling me, I'm not going to know the details.

    • 1mo

      If two guys are trying to mug me and I pick up a brick from the ground and hold it up and say back up or I'm smash your fucking skull and this is witnessed then I could be charged theoretically with aggravated assault... It's threatening someone with a potential deadly weapon... It really depends on the details.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Your not overthinking at all. You made a smart decision to do this. These days, you have to. Because you have no idea who your sleeping with, who you have kids with, etc. However, if you can't handle it, and you feel that you can't trust him. Just drop the relationship. In fact a person who trust's you would just tell you the truth so that your free to make a decision to stay or go. Not hide something as serious as that. Before god forbid you end up seriously hurt. If they changed, then they have to prove that. But now that gives you more of a reason to be very careful. So its up to you. But I can't deal with that.

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What Guys Said 5

  • I run those searches whenever anyone wants to join our crime watch group, so it's become a matter of routine for me. Only a few times do I find disqualifying information on people.

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  • I guess it depends what you're used to. I lived in a rough town so I grew up with it, and even now half the guys I work with have records. For a future partner I get it, but it just doesn't cross my mind meeting people.

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  • Thats a smart move to do that. You are not over thinking it.

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  • I personally feel you ought to be more choosey, but hey... It's your choice.

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    • 1mo

      These have all been acquaintances, some who I think I could be friends with. They've been nothing but nice when we've spoken, but even so... seeing someone's record, seeing perhaps an ugly side, that is unsettling. At the same time, I hate to judge (within reason), especially if these things happened years ago.

    • 1mo

      There's no better indicator of one's future, than one's past. Be less accepting and forgiving... it works wonders. :-)

  • I know people whos shoot people and killed them and soild craxk

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What Girls Said 1

  • That's true, we all have a past.
    I think it's good the fact that you check if they have a criminal record.
    But if I met someone who was convicted of aggravated assault, I probably would stay away from them. I wouldn't be able to deal with this.

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