Do guys care if girls have a lot of guy friends?

does it matter if a girl is around a lot of guys? does it look bad? do you automatically assume things about a girl like that?

I have a lot of guy friends. some closer than others. I've never really asked them their opinion on it but i never felt i should. I feel like one of the guys and i dont want to ruin what we have. What concerns me is if i want to date someone, would they be wary about approaching me because i have a lot of guy friends.

When i was younger, i mostly had female friends but now that im older, i seem to have a lot more guy friends. When i was younger, if i ever had male friends, i ended up finding out later that they had feelings for me. I dont think that is the case now. I am just surrounded by a lot of guys and i tend to make friends regardless. I am also an engineer major and the majority of students are male. i get along with a lot of them. one of my best friends is a guy. i've known him for two years and some semesters, if we have classes together, we are inseparable. and now that he made a new close friend, i usually stick to the both of them. If we go somewhere, its all three of us and i have fun. i like hearing their take on things, and they always ask me about girl things too. i just find it so interesting that we think so differently just because of our gender. i really love them. as friends.

At work, i am also surrounded by guys. I work with mostly guys and again, I am usually talking to them. We crack jokes, have competitions, and pick on eachother. Its just really fun.

I still have female friends. of course i dont discriminate. my best friend is a girl, and some of my friends at school are female too.

but im just wondering if it makes a girl look a certain way. i asked one of my guy friends from work about girls who hang around a lot of guys and he says usually, they're pretty easy and been around. Im not like that at all. in fact, im inexperienced in that area.

but does it really seem that way?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm not saying it is necessariky true for you, but every, and I mean EVERY girl like you that I met ended up being a total attention whore. None of them would admit it, but they hung out with so many guys, because they knew they had a thing for them, and they were so damn insecure that they needed the attention to boost their self esteem.

    Even if this wasn't the case for you, I would still be hesitant at the very least. I once dated a girl (briefly) who had a few guy friends that she knew for several years. It made me feel like the number one guy spot in her life was already taken, and that there was no room for me. It made me feel like I wasn't as important to her, because she knew them all for so much longer, and in the end I was only passing through.

    When in a relationship, at least after a while, I want to feel like I am her number one priority. For instance, I have a few acquaintences that happen to be girls, and sometimes I go to them for girl advice and such, but we are not close friends, and I barely talk to any of them after school. There is still room in my life for the number one girl position.

    I don't feel jealous when she has a same gender best friend who she has known longer than me, because she needs a best friend, and I understand that. in my opinion, people need a lover and a best friend of the same gender - but once they are taken, they no longer need a best friend of the opposite gender because their lover can fill that role too.

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    • 1mo

      No i understand. there's always those girls who hang out with guys for the attention.

      Im sure every girl says this but im not like them at all. I am even careful with what i wear and say. I usually wear flannels and tshirts and vans or converse. I dont really show cleavage and i dont ever talk about my boobs or anything like that with them. I've seen a lot of girls who do that and i find that distasteful. Only reason why that should be brought up with a boy is for attention.

      I can see why it is uncomfortable. I guess id feel a bit bothered if a guy had a close female friend like that. It makes you wonder.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I have a lot of best friends (don't say; no you can only have one, but I love them uniquely). My is also my best friend. I have about 9 best friends, 5 guys, 4 girls (including my crush on the guys side). My favourite best friend said to me 'I shouldn't have so many best friends it's kinda hard to keep up and not really fair but it doesn't matter. She asked my crush and he said 'Since your used to having so many guy friends you aren't nervous around guys and it looks like your flirting'. *he likes me back jsk :) *

    So I don't know maybe it's just him but I think it definitely bothers some guys.

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    • 1mo

      plus guys will think your guy friends are possibly better, especially if they know u better or longer, they could think they aren't as good as the other guy or good enough for you and/or could get jealous. The best thing is if your interested in someone, treat them differently than you treat everyone else and every other guy, they become less insecure and won't need to be jealous.

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    • 1mo

      I agree. I think it is so annoying that girls are seen negatively when we do things but if guys do it, its no big deal. I had that discussion with one of my best guy friends

    • 1mo

      yeah it is totally unfair,

What Guys Said 13

  • No. As long as she's not a slut (I wouldn't think she would be, if I know her correctly), then she could have millions of guy friends and i wouldn't care.

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  • You named the stereotype in your post "they're easy" it's often not true because everyone has friends but that's it.

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  • Nah its not an issue unless she's slept with all of them.

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  • Yes we do. It's not favourable to me because not all those guys are genuine. The majority in fact

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    • 1mo

      would you still give the girl a chance?

    • 1mo

      Once upon a time I would've. But I learned the hard way not to. So never again, no.

  • Yeah
    Kinda hate that

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  • Yes it matters a lot for me I don't trust any of it

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    • 1mo

      Even if she was open and honest about everything?

    • 1mo

      Yes the moment we have our first tough fight she will run to her guy Friend and tell all and they play up to her because deep deep down the guy wants her for himself

  • I wouldn't notice unless it was obvious that she's around like 50 guys at any given time

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  • Massive Red FLAG. You mean a harem of "beta orbiters" or backup boyfriends for these women if the current one isn't up to snuff? Just keeping it REAL.

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    • 1mo

      Not really, no. I dont settle for something if its not what i want. Meaning im not going to mess around with who ever is available out of loneliness. Just because it didn't work out with one guy, it doesn't mean im going to hit on my guy friends just because theyre there.

  • In your case its okay because you are in engineer. but I would still be cautious about them until I can trust you.

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  • Having male friends is a deal breaker.

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    • 1mo

      Even having just 1 male friend is an automatic deal breaker?

  • I always question it. But I don't assume things about the girl, it's more that I don't trust all the guys and that they are her "friends", true friends. Some guys will pretend to be friends in the hope for something more, or not even pretend, just are hoping/wanting something more.

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  • now that you are older, and hotter and more womanly, you have more guy friends. well congrats. mystery solved. and yes it would be a red flag. even if you are not a great hoe, they fancy you for sure thats why they stick around... .

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    • 1mo

      I didn't even think about it that way. Now that im older, I've also developed a better personality though.

      No im to busy to be a hoe. And i couldnt go through with it. Im too innocent in that area.

  • It's just an excuse to say that she has a lot of options. She's a player. Same thing with men with lots of girl "friends". He's a player, and just has a lot of options

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    • 1mo

      I guess you're right. it does worry me when guys have a lot of female friends.

      Would you still give her a chance if she did have a lot of guy friends or is it an automatic turn off?

    • 1mo

      Turn off

What Girls Said 1

  • I have the same problem

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