Does rejecting someone because he/she can't find this other person physically attractive make the rejector "not nice"?

Inspired by GAG's video.

Personally, I vote "Hell to the no. This person can still be nice even if the sole reason for rejecting was based on lack of physical attraction.."

  • Yes, this person is not nice
    9% (4)13% (6)11% (10)Vote
  • No, this person might still be nice
    91% (40)87% (39)89% (79)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • No- not at all. But I think it is only fair that we check in with ourselves on this standard from time to time. Now it isn't always a 'standard'. Socially we tend to like people who we think are like us. And then women strongly draw on unconscious scent cues in mate selection. Birth control has proven to interfere with that preference.

    I don't know how many times I've wanted to like someone that way but can't. Not because I find them unattractive but I don't find them sexually attractive to me. It isn't usually physical but then agai when I like a guy it is never purely on looks it is a combo of things.

    If you don't like chubby women I guess I can forgive that depending where n what chubby means. Saying a woman who wears a size 6 or smaller and is 5'6 or taller is chubby is equal to me saying I won't date a guy shorter than 6 feet.

    Bottom line I think we all need to be realistic in who we find attractive and it can become abnormal and in that case you are only hurting you. I've seen people build up unrealistic version of who they think they should date from movies they watch. I'm not saying they are undeserving of that person, I'm saying that person doesn't exist.

    These people will never know true intimacy that comes through the bond of sharing flaws and trustin each other. As soon as they realize the person is human and not an idea they run. Pedestal complex, they put the person on a pedestal they can only ever fall from because it is a made up version of who they really are only ever true in the others imagination.

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    • 1mo

      Very thoughtful.

      Have you seen the GAG video take about "nice guys?"

    • 1mo

      No but I'm aware of the fallacy. Please include link if you think it is beneficial. I like people, any and most people. Even the best fall victim to social constructs.

      Since my freshman year in high school through grad school I paid special attention to who gets prosecuted and why. I still do. But mostly I don't point fongers at one law officer, it's a systematic problem.

      Way off topic... just that the nice guy fallacy is alarming. That Stanford swimmer was 'a real nice guy'.

      Sober women know the difference but drunk ones don't. Worse is sober police always assume.

Most Helpful Guy

  • You are so right - Accepting their advances is cruel to the person as well as yourself - It is most likely at some stage you will break that person heart in the future so you are taking the high moral ground by not taking advantage of that person's feelings for temporary pleasure.

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What Girls Said 10

  • No, of course not. There is nothing wrong with rejecting someone (as long as the person doing the rejecting isn't intentionally being a jerk about it). But just simply rejecting someone because you aren't attracted to them has nothing to do with being nice or not. We can't help who we are attracted to and if you don't find a particular person attractive, that's okay. I don't know anyone who wants to date someone they aren't physically attracted to, and there's nothing wrong with that.

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  • I have no problem with people rejecting another's advanced because they aren't attracted to them, but I think it should be done kindly and with compassion. There is no reason to destroy a persons self confidence because you don't like the look of them

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  • What video is this? Lol

    As long as you're not being a jerk about it, then you can still be a nice person while rejecting someone based on looks.
    Sure, it hurts to know that something you cannot control much is the reason, but you cannot help who or what you find attractive or not.

    I have already voted in the poll :)

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  • If you're not attracted to someone, then you're not attracted. Don't force yourself to be with someone if you don't have a connection. You can give someone a chance to see if any physical attraction develops, but if it just doesn't happen then oh well. Just be nice about it. You can let someone down without being a total snob.

    Let them down easy (while also being real).

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  • Nope. As someone who is unattractive, I've never thought guys were jerks for not wanting me. I can't expect someone to date me if they aren't attracted. It's not fair to either one of us. I think I'd feel more insulted that they felt obligated to date me than I would with the rejection.

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  • No it makes me nice for letting him find someone else who might like them for who they are AND their looks.

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  • This is called Living Honestly. You can be diplomatic but why would you lead them on? That certainly isn't nice.

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  • The physical is all we have to go on, in the beginning. Sad but true! Now high school/college, work or another setting, you might not be physically attracted to someone but in time you get to know them and they start to look more attractive to you. They "grow" on you, lol.

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  • Depend the way you reject them, if you said you look like a whale then no not nice. It all depend how you reject them, what you said, etc...

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  • There's nothing wrong with rejecting someone you don't find attractive. I would hope that you reject them in a kind manner though lol

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What Guys Said 9

  • I accidentally voted A.

    But the only way said person is not nice anymore is if they harshly reject them.

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  • Obviously B... you always have to be honest. There is no magic trick to make 2 people love each other. If the click is there you should say it but also if it's not there at all!

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  • Only if they insult the person when rejecting them.

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  • You're allowed to reject anyone for any reason you see fit. Who cares if it's "nice". It's not nice to wind up in a shit relationship either.

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  • Depends, if they publicly humiliate them then they are assholes.

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  • No, of course not, your just not meant to be, just be nice about it.

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  • oh hell no. i will reject people and i couldn't careless if they think I'm not nice

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  • No, this person might still be nice

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  • Everyone has their own idea of what attractive is. Just because someone rejected someone because of a physical attractiveness issue doesn't make them "mean". As long as the way they reject them isn't to cruel to the other person.

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