let's say your so called "SO" decided to cheat on you with 3 others and lied to you about almost everything including where he/she was and what they were doing, and the moment he/she feels like you might leave for good, they go back to talking with their ex because they need a "friend"
what would you do? how would you feel?
I know most people would say just leave or so and I agree you can't stay, but what would you do with your life if it was revolving around that person?
how would you feel
I know for myself everything feels so pointless but I know that no matter what there's no going back and there's nothing to do but let go
but how would you feel and what would you do, would you let go or seek revenge, would you scream and shout or just quietly leave? how would you see that person after knowing the truth?
Most Helpful Guy
First, I am very sorry that you have had this experience. Dating is a series of relationships which end badly, culminating in one rnationship that never ends. . . but the relationships that end don't need to end this badly. One day, you'll look back and know that this experience helped you to appreciate the good woman who you eventually found. I also know that platitudes like that don't make you feel better now.
Do you know anyone who ever profited from getting revenge on a former lover? Me neither. Revenge is a way of staying attached to the other person, even if its in a negative way, and the best thing you can do for yourself is to let go and move forward. YOu have already wasted part of your life with this girl; why waste even more time plotting revenge?
If anybody tells you to forget about her, they are not thinking. It is impossible to forget something like this. . . and you shouldn't. Re-examine this relationship and question whether there were warning signs that you missed, things that you could have done to avoid getting tangled up with such a low life. Maybe you can make yourself a better person as a result of this.
How do you move on? Read this:
Most Helpful Girl
Honestly what I would do with my life is working making my life not revolve around this person. This person didn't and doesn't care about you. If they did, they wouldn't have lied to you and did those hurtful things. You don't deserve to keep someone like that in your life. What you do deserve is to keep around people who create positivity in your life.
Start doing this by keeping busy. Invest your time in hobbies and visits with friends. Little by little you will start to think less of this person. Eventually you won't think of them at all.
Focus on the things you want in your life and not on the negative. Focusing on the negative only breeds more negative thinking and puts you into a negative tailspin of self pity and sadness. No one needs that. Instead, try to focus on the good aspects of your life. Now yes, it's not going to be easy. We all have our bad days. But I think the best thing you can do is as soon as you feel a bad thought coming on. Recognize it and then aim to think about something good.
Don't seek revenge on this person. As much as it might seem like a good idea at the time, it's only reaffirming the impact that person has had on your life. It screams "I care wayy to much about this person who doesn't care about me".
Let them know you can no longer be with them and move on. Don't make excuses for them. You know in your heart you cannot be with them, so move forward.
It won't be easy but it's totally doable. Just takes time. I know because I have been here. My ex boyfriend lied our whole relationship and cheated on me too. I don't even know what was true about our time together anymore. Other than how I felt about him at that time. I had to put in a lot of work to move forward. But you will get there! It just takes time and I find keeping busy really helps. Work on improving your life and enjoying every minute of it. I see my ex from time to time and he always stares at me. But I keep moving forward. I don't want him back. I am happy where I am in life. I feel satisfied knowing I made the right decision for myself and stood by it. Be strong :)1