So I like this guy. I have for a while and we've been friends for some time. I've seen him be ignored by this girl named Belle. She is beautiful and really nice but all she does is talk to him when it's convenient for her, plays with him like a toy and tells him all about the 100000 crushes she has. It's cruel because she KNOWS he has liked her for a while. Anyways, I told him how I felt about him and He told me this: "I like you too but, I'm sort of with somebody... Belle... but if I wasn't then I would want to talk about being together but as of now nothing can come out of it... I'm sorry." and I asked if it was a relationship type thing and he said no but it was leading up to it. So I felt bad... and then I asked him if we should stop talking for a while so it won't cause any problems (because I know it will). He refused. He wants to still talk to me and have me be a part of his life. But my questions are:
1. Why does he like me if he is with Belle?
2. Why won't he stop talking to me if we both know it'll cause problems down the road?
I'm not stupid because it seems to be he wants me to be a back up plan but if he really didn't want any problems with Belle then he would cut contact and not talk to me right?
Most Helpful Guy
Well, it seems that he has been into this Belle for a while, so I don't see how you talking with him would change anything, since he thinks he is making progress with her.
The only problems I see would be for yourself and how you would feel having to repress your own feelings around him, not the opposite.
If you guys were friends before this, this doesn't necessarily mean that you are his backup. He may just not want you to be distant on purpose since he already knows you'd be self conscious in distancing yourself, so he wants things to continue as they are now.1
Most Helpful Girl
Weird... kind of going through the same thing almost. I think it's best to find someone else. You don't want to end up being the second choice... you want to be the first and only. If he doesn't snap out of whatever trance he's in then he's the one that's missing out and it'll be his loss. If he wants to waste his time with a girl that is like that with him then let him.1