Does it actually get better, or do people just say that?

I've been getting professional help but these past couple of days I've been getting worse.
I want to know does it actually get better?
I want to see the world, I want to fall in love and get married and have a fulfilling career and it just feels like none of that is ever going to happen.
So whats left for me even if I beat my depression, it doesn't seem like a whole lot.
It seems like I'll never have anything in this life.
I just can't see myself having a good life.

Updates:
1mo Make no mistake the reason I am getting help is because I WANT IT TO GET BETTER AND I'M TRYING. But its doesn't seem like its enough
27d I hope its enough but I'm concerned its not going to be.
That I won't be able to fight anymore

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Depression has a way of making you feel like things will never improve, but it's as they say: it often gets worse before it gets better. You just have to remind yourself that depression LIES, depression makes you feel like there's no end but there is. Do not focus so hard on "I might never have this" and focus on: "I need to keep going forward so I CAN have this."

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    • 26d

      Thank you for MHgirl, I hope you really do beat this. I have faith in you.

Most Helpful Guy

  • For many, it does get better.

    Now, that being said, what are you and your couselors doing to see that you are among the many?

    I know you say you can't see yourself in a better place, but for a moment just answer this question. Best case scenario (but within reason... no "I see myself as captain of the Millennium Falcon), what would you *like* to make happen with your life?

    P. S., I don't always agree with you, Waffles, but I really and truly feel for you and would like to see you have a good and fulfilling life.

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    • 1mo

      As per your update, I believe you. I know you want to have a better life. I believe you're trying.

      Best case scenario, what do you see yourself doing in life say five years from now?

What Girls Said 35

  • Yes it does get better... If you want to travel it's not actually too awfully expensive if you really look into it well. Staying at hostels (super cheap) you'll meet new people with all kinds of backgrounds it's actually great. I think travelling is what helped me personally the most to get out of my depression and suicidal thoughts. And I even realised that my problems were far far smaller compared to some people out there.

    If you wanna meet some great people out there I honestly recommend you to pick up some kind of volunteering programme in another country, you actually meet some really great and positive people, which is vital to your recovery.
    So even if it's just take a trip for a week it can really change you.
    You'll only ever have a good life if you actually push yourself to do things. The good things aren't always just going to come to you.

    And also once you've travelled places trust me you will be craving for more, as for myself I'm constantly having hopes and plans in my head about where I wanna go in the future by myself or with my friends, which honestly keeps me constantly excited, even just talking about it makes me happy. ☺️ You're only 21, there's so much time left to experience so much that's out there.

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  • It takes time to feel better. And honestly as you go through life your idea of what a good life means changes. I thought when I was younger that I would want to get married young, have kids and have a high level job. I see now how stressful all of that would be if I actually got those things.

    I'm glad I am taking my time in life to find a partner, and have kids. I'm thankful I don't have a high level job because it's stressful and you have to make a lot of sacrifices to have that. I would much rather take my time and find stuff that makes me happy.

    One of the biggest things that causes unhappiness is when our lives do not measure up to the perfect picture of what our lives should look like. Cut yourself some slack and realize it is okay if you don't have life 100 percent figured out yet. You are only 21. You have plenty of time! Every day is a change to learn something new and make choices that enhance your life.

    It's okay to have bad days. But please keep seeking help. There are always going to be those bad days. But there will also be good days. You have to learn to ride out the bad days to get to the good days again. Eventually as your treatment goes on you will get better at handling the bad days.

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    • 1mo

      But what If I never find a partner

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    • 1mo

      I've actually planned that if I'm going to be alone in life at a certain age that I will kill myself.
      Falling in love and getting married is something I've always wanted and its one of the few things that are left to me. I've had to face the fact for years that due to several circumstances I won't be able to do 75 percent of what I want in life.
      Seeing the world, Getting married, and writing are really the only ones left.
      Take any one of those away and my life really won't be worth living

    • 28d

      I'm really sorry to hear this. But hurting yourself is only going to make certain that you never get to accomplish the things you want to do. The thing is, as long as you are alive you have the potential in the future to do the things you like.

      There's plenty of things I want to do in life that haven't happened for me. But that doesn't mean they will never happen. Things change, circumstances change. As unfortunate as I have been in the love department, I have been very fortunate in the experience department. I've had many experiences people I know have not had. They are older than me, I am only 27.

      Take each day as a new opportunity. I know that sounds like fluff and easy coming from a complete stranger on the internet. But try to shift your focus from what isn't happening in your life, to focus on the opportunities that arise. Sometimes we can get tunnel vision and it can hijack our view of our life. If we focus on the negatives, it can cloud out any positives.

  • It takes a long time for your brain to get to a bad place so it's going to take a long time for it to get to a good place again

    Think of it like this: when you go from the bad part of town to the good part of town the streets don't get magically better right away. There's still some potholes and patches that cause the car to go up and down even in the nicest areas. Maybe the nice area even has some hills that you just have to go down and come back up.

    That doesn't mean you or your little brain car aren't trying though. It's just part of the journey ;)

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  • Many years ago I hit rock bottom in my life due to circumstances beyond my control. People used say to me that life would get better. At the time it annoyed me, because I used to wonder how they could possibly know that. I thought they only said it to make me feel better but it didn't, because I didn't really believe it was possible

    Now I know it is possible, because my life did get better. Like yourself , I motivated and pushed myself to get through each day. I decided to just focus on the ", here & now" instead of being overly concerned about the next day, next month or even next year. I just lived each day at a time. I knew if I got through " today", I'd be stronger " tomorrow" Gradually life did get better for me.

    So try to keep focused on one day at a time.. for now. It's difficult to do at first, but worrying about your future or even the following day just robs you of " today's " happiness and progress

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  • You already took the most important step, which is getting help. You're trying to change your life and that's a really good thing!
    You might feel like nothing is changing, but I guess that's because you're just starting. I think you should give time to time. Be patient. And I'm sure that you'll start noticing the changes.
    I know that is not easy and I know what it feels like to think that you'll never have anything in life.
    But time will help you to figure out what you need :) I'm sure you'll get better, just keep fighting and never give up.

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  • Yes it does, and sometimes you have bad days where it will feel that you've got bottom again, but you really haven't. I'm so used to things all going wrong, that I was literally afraid to be happy. If things were going TOO well, I'd subconsciously start trying to sabotage it myself. It's been a lifelong uphill climb, but I know now that it can be great and I can be happy.

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  • ... why does it seem like you'll never have anything in life? It sounds like you've already decided that you'll never meet anyone to share your life with and have accepted the fact that the remainder of your life will be miserable as a fact already?

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  • It does. You just have to have faith and stick it out. You have to want it, and I believe that you do.

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  • It does get better, and deep down you know it does because you're actively seeking help. You just can't see past the hole you're in yet.

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  • I suffer from depression to. So I can understand what you are going through. Overall depression usually doesn't go away. It comes and goes on its own and can come at any moment of your life. First thing is knowing what triggers it. Also, I dont see the need to rush into a relationship nor be pressured to be in one. Your main focus should be on getting better not dating.

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    • 28d

      I know I shouldn't be getting into a relationship but it still scares me a whole lot, the thought of that I'm too screwed up and will grow old alone

  • I'm glad you're getting help. That's good. Everything may seem dark and hopeless right now, but if you listen to your therapist's advice and focus on the things you want to achieve in life - like what you mentioned, you can get through it. Getting better doesn't even have to be a long process. It's all up to you.

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  • It does get better. Dont expect it to in an instant but it does. You just need to work on your outlook.

    It got better for me when i was sure it wouldn't. It took time but it did.

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  • Yes, I think it gets better. A week isn't going to be enough time for most people to magically reach the goal. It all depends on where you started. Enjoying the healing process will make things go faster and more smoothly.

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  • Getting help is important. Also, you have to want to get better and actively try to get better. And you are able to do anything you think of as well, if you set your mind on it. Set one small goal at a time, and make a plan to achieve it.

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    • 27d

      To answer your update. People are stronger when they have a support system. Family and friends who love you and motivate you and are there for you. But even people who don't have anyone, still have God

  • well the first part is going to be hard. It always is. But as you progress and unfold things will get easier trust me. Doesn't seem like it right now but it will! Good luck

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  • Yes, it will get better, but it's a bumpy road.

    When you think that there'll be nothing for you even you've beaten your depression, well, it's the depression that's making you think that way. When you get better you'll feel differently.

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  • It will get better I know lots of people who have depression and have a life as you said. They are inlove and married with kids. The only thing is some days might be harder then others but that happens to people that are not depress too.

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  • Sigh..

    I really want to help you. 😞 But I dunno how. I'll try talking to you privately and see if I can offer some guidance.

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  • I understand that life is challenging so I'm not belittling your situation but I very much feel that happiness is a choice.

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    • 27d

      Its not,
      I've got a faulty brain and it causes mental illness

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    • 27d

      Yeah, I'm doing an intensive outpatient program right now and I'm getting a therapist soon but I honestly don't know how long I can hang on anymore

    • 27d

      That's good. Please hang in there. It does get better! 😘

  • Yes it really does.

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  • It will. Everything worthwhile takes time. Stay on track. You'll get there. 💟

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  • It does get better. Sometimes it has to get worse before it can get better. Getting professional help is hard because it forces you to confront the problem head on. It does get better

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  • It gets better but sometimes gets worse. It's like a sin graph
    www.a-levelmathstutor.com/.../sine-curve.jpg

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  • Yes. In my experience, it does.

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  • It can.
    My depression got to the point this year that all I could think about was taking an overdose of pills. Right now I'm so happy. I'm so glad that I didn't.

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  • It does get better!!! I was a wreck a few years ago and am so much better now

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    • 1mo

      You're still a wreck now with those feminazi views of your's lol

  • Tbh I went through a lot of depression when I was younger and it does get better... only if you want it to though. Only you can help yourself to get better. If you ever want to talk you can drop me a message.

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  • You're one of the few people I'd sit all day in my laptop trying to help get over depression with my alpha funny power

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  • it gets better !

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  • the hell
    why are you so depressed

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What Guys Said 37

  • Dude despite all of our heated political differences, I'll try and give you some solid right now.

    I'm not going to sugarcoat shit and tell you that's it's going to be fine. You'll most likely always have depression, but as time goes on you'll learn how to manage it in the best way possible. My sister has depression and I've had some heart to hearts with her. It's literally a neurological imbalance so there is nothing to be ashamed of.

    At our age.. literally all this shit you are thinking is normal. I haven't met a chick or a dude before on a real level that doesn't worry about this shit. As men we have literally all felt like we have lost our sanity at point. The thing that turns people off the most is a self fulfilling prophecy. Online.. it's fine but if you talk like this all the time to friends and even family members, it will drive them away and you'll become even more depressed.

    Nobody is you and understands exactly what you are going through.. trying to regurgitate the same sad shit towards people and over again doesn't have any benefits. You need to use self control and not lash out but rather talk to your professional help about your issues.

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  • Have you ever heard the expression "Swings and Roundabouts" - In the area of mental health area , there will good days and bad days - What have I learned from my previous experience is to research coping mechanisms for the bad days - My thoughts are with you, enjoy the good days when they happen and I hope you find ways to abate the bad days when they happen.
    Very importantly to your question, yes things to get better remember a quote oft quoted about depression "The darkest hour is the one before dawn".

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  • Yes, it does. It won't happen overnight, but it will happen if you want it to (and remember: depression will try to sabotage you by saying you don't deserve to be happier).

    The most important thing I would say for your specific worry that you aren't getting anywhere is to set yourself goals that you can break down into pieces. Fr'instance: "I want to travel the world" is big. Pick a place you could afford to go if you save up, and work towards that. I am not saying to kill your dreams, just to start with ones you will feel tangible progress toward because you will appreciate the feeling of getting somewhere and have motivation to keep going.

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  • Things can get better but it doesn't happen overnight. It is easy for others to tell you to be patient but that is all we can tell you; things did not fall apart in one day and things won't fall back into place in one day.

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  • Eh generally most careers have a lot of grind. There are good things and bad things that you have to do on a regular basis. You typically have to work with dysfunctional people that don't care about what they are doing and try to skate by on the bare minimum. You typically have bosses (even when you own your own business) that insist on doing things the wrong way. So if you care at all about what you're doing, you're bound to be dissatisfied about a number of things daily regardless of what you do.

    When it comes to relationships, it seems like most times they are not worth it. If it's what you want, you'll learn how to land them and play the game the more you practice, but when you weigh the pros and cons in many relationships you're likely to wonder why you're wasting your time and energy on this human. If you get lucky you'll meet a great person at the right time and then you'll still have your day in and day out struggles to cope with mixed with some good stuff.

    Sorry to be so positive. :D Life is challenging and that's partially what makes it interesting.

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  • I've learned to cope with it a long time ago. I know we're all going die no matter what it is that we do or not do. Learned that there is way too much shit in this world that is completely beyond our control, especially when it comes to being part of this existence. Absolutely none of us had ever asked to come here in the first place and yet we are here, so it's on us to decide what we want to do with our lives, figure out our own meaning and purpose. I realized that are really just 3 to 4 things that are guaranteed and is certain in this world: pain, suffering, and the inevitable, and everything else are just coping mechanisms we can choose to fill that cold empty void within ourselves or because it was something that is necessary for us to survive. It's a no-win situation. I learned to think and feel that surviving is as good as it gets and there are people out there with fates much worse than mines and is much less fortunate than I am.

    Just do the best that you could with whatever it is that you still have and whatever you still have control over.

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  • i think it can get better for you specifically. if you can overcome to an extent or effectively manage and deal with depression

    generally yes i do believe the saying "it gets better"

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  • "Listen. All of this, it takes some gettin' used to. But you do get used to it, after a while. There's three things I'll always miss though: One, not havin' to watch my step all the time. Two... Well... Forget about two. And three... I miss the songs. Folks from Caelondia knew how to carry a tune. Sure, we've got some songs on the old gramophone, but tryin' to imagine what they sounded like playin' to a room full of fine people unwindin' at the Sole Regret right after a hard day's work. Those were the days."

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  • I understand your reservations for such a thing, the task is daunting and at times it does feel useless

    However, try to keep this in mind. The process is slow with small incremental changes by the day. It takes time for your brain to rewire itself with new formation of thoughts and processes. You'll have bad days and good days. Slowly but surely you'll notice much less bad days and more good days. Until eventually most days are good and one some days are bad, even maybe fractional days

    It takes around 60-90 days to form new habits. To solidify them maybe longer. And to actually create lasting change with new pathways it could take maybe years. But again throughout that time frame, the bad minimizes and the good continues to approach it's maximum... until one day you just forget this is even an issue - that's when you know - and when you know I guarantee those questions you asked will be answered

    Good luck

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  • Talk about that feeling with your therapist. For sure it won't be the first time someone is feeling like this.
    And if you've been through a lot it's probably no surprise either.
    Most important to do I think is: be with your friends to have people who listen to you and care for you. This will give you a chance to vent emotions and thus take the cause of depression away :D

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  • It gets better, but, let's be honest - it can also get worse.

    The way I like to think about it is that suffering (in whatever form) is just temporary pain. And without suffering, you wouldn't really appreciate the good times when they do come around. Just see how miserable those spoilt brats are.

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  • You just gotta take things one day at a time. You'll have highs and lows along the way but over time and with help, you'll learn to truly believe in yourself. You're worthwhile bro. Accomplishments won't seem so heavy and beyond your reach as they do now.

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  • I think both are true.

    It is something that people just say, but it is also true that things do get better for some people.

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  • It does, man. You just keep on fighting, even if you don't see any progress. You might fall a few times, but that just happens. Just keep trying and it eventually will get better, trust me

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  • I will be completely honest and admit that I do actually "just" say that. If there's a chance I can make someone get better, I'll take it.

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  • It's not going to get better if you're dead. That's an absolute fact.

    You've got people who care about you, and at the risk of being manipulative, they will be devastated if you don't keep going.

    Nobody can guarantee that things will get better, but you should keep hoping and trying. Please.

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  • It only gets better if you intend to do so. If you don't put yourself on blast and actually do something about it then nothing will change.

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    • 1mo

      Thats because you are expecting to move a mountain when you can barely move a pebble. Start small and build.

    • 27d

      Build dude. The more you build the more confidence you will have tackling new things.
      Start with a strong support, or base.

  • Depends of you connect with your therapist and if they are skilled in the type (s) of therapy that can help you. Two days is too early. Lots of shit is going to come to the fore in order for your therapist to listen and start understanding what has happened to you.

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  • Your job is to keep fighting even if things seem like they won't get better. If you do that, then you can find happiness. You just have to keep fighting.

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    • 27d

      My best advice to you is to keep getting counseling, dial in your nutrition, and FORCE yourself to begin vigorous exercise. That last one is sooooooooooooooooooo important.

  • I went through depression too. Worse than yours maybe.

    But the thing is i never felt like my life was over or that i was stuck this way.

    I always fought my way out of it. You Gotta pick yourself up, you'll fall 100 times but when you finally stand up you won't fall again. It's down to your attitude, if you believe you can fight this then you will, if not then you've set your own destiny.

    Believe

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  • Hey mayne, I was at my lowest point in life a few years back, hanging on for dear life with my little toe, but hey, 5 years later, I'm the happpiest i've ever been, I've been through psychiatrists, Years of medication At just 12 years old... But hey, Don't let it go, IT WILL GET BETTER, - From personal experience

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  • It's just some shit that people say to help you be positive. Fact is, no one can see the future. Shit could get better, or it could get worse, or it could stay the same. Only time tells which of the three it is.

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  • Keep fighting it, the road is hard and uphill but it gets better trust me but it'll get worse before it gets better just keep at it though you can beat it just like I did.

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  • Yea it does and sometimes it's just life, but sometimes things may not but you just have to keep it positive do what you can to make things better for yourself you know go make a whole porta money lol excercise get a dog dude smoke se weed become began see as many psychologist as you can whatever it takes to get a hold of your life

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  • I have the same issue. The only reason I'm not dead yet is because I've been caught trying to commit suicide, and my dad's gun locker is locked. I'm having the same issues, except trying to get professional help didn't work for me. I've slept 24 hours recently because I was extremely depressed. Things are getting worse, but at least try. I'm trying as hard as possible.

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  • It takes time but it does get better

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  • It does. I like you suffered from ASD and it affected me much when I was younger.

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  • It is always what you make it- all on you

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