How do I stop acting like this?

Okay, so basically I’m a tactile person. I like to touch and hug people I know and care about, and if someone else is touchy as well I tend to gravitate towards them (like it’s instinct?)-it’s basically always been who I am to touch and hug and play with others ever since I could remember.

However, this is kinda got me in trouble and I feel stupid and the biggest idiot on earth.

Recently I had been at a gathering, & apparently the first impressions I made was the worst out of all the people, because I was too touchy & cuddly with someone. But I’ve always liked being cuddly with my friends, with some I’m more so because I know they don’t mind it or they actually want to, and with others I don’t because they don’t like it.
I know I did something wrong with being too touchy with one of our guy friends. (I could elaborate why I think they would think badly of me in one of the situations, & it has to do with one of my worst fears & I tend to throw up & burst into tears choke (basically a panic attack) at the mere thought of it, the guy was being nice by staying with me. Albeit too physical (huggy/patting on the back/shoulder) for their liking?) Even though this guy & I basically hug a lot and poke each other etc like every day like routine, I thought I was being equally cuddly towards everyone else...

I made a fool of myself. They see me as disrespectful. I feel bad and I should’ve known better, I want to say sorry, I feel like a HUGE idiot. (I almost cried after my friend told me because I’m sensitive to how he sees me & how his family would, & it didn’t go to plan at all. Normally I make good impressions, but this is the first mess up impression. I can barely look at him without feeling like dying inside.) I acknowledge my rudeness.

So how can I stop being so touchy towards others?

Note: and I know that because it was a guy I was being ‘too touchy’ (and vice versa) with makes the situation a whole lot worse. Someone hand me a paper bag…

I just want to stop


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What Guys Said 2

  • WEll your an extrovert. There is nothing wrong with it. You should also not feels so bad you just made a mistake. Just try to control it more and try to act shy when you know that you need to be. They should not make you feel bad for being yourself. Only that you accidentally went to far with him.

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    • 21d

      I guess that's true... but still feel ashamed of it even if it was a mistake (one which i'll remember for a long time). When I do act more shy and introverted (trying to control my need to touch) though the guy usually starts poking me, hugging me and touching my hands, lower back and waist and rubs my shoulders/arms when we're near each other or when he pops up next to me out of nowhere...
      And would it have been 'too far' or not 'normal' for a guy (extrovert or not), if he slid his hand up the back of my shirt when i was bending over to pick something up off the ground when we we're sitting together? (My shirt picked up a little bit, and I felt him pull it back down to cover my back but then he pushed it back up and slid his hand over my back under my shirt just below my bra. The host family weren't there but other guests were, though not looking at us.) And it would be nice to know why he did that too if it's not too much to ask?

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    • 20d

      Get lucky? Like try to sleep with me? Or try to get an extra feel on me since he saw an 'opportunity'?
      I mean when we sit or hug each other (or him pulling me closer etc) he tends to slide his hand on my back (to my lowerback and holds my waist/hips) and arms to my hands a lot but still... is that what's on a 16 year old's mind? Or is his 'friendliness/tactile-ness' actually him trying to flirt? Because I think he's not as touchy with anyone but me when I think about it...
      (To clarify; he's 16 and I'm 17 turning 18, I accidentally put in the wrong DOB year for my account. But would age even count as a variable to what he's doing?)

    • 20d

      Well one usually leads to the other eventually. In short he copped a feel. He most likely likes you. he is probably trying to physicually flirt with that. It sounds like he likes you a lot.

  • Stop and think before you act. Get into that ha bit and it will negate the touchy habit you currently have. You may act with out thinking but that's why your acting out. Cause your not thinking but rather having fun.

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    • 21d

      I had tried that before some time ago and it worked only for about a week until then I started becoming more fidgety and restless (it started to annoy others I guess how i was tapping tables and my feet and twitching and being a bit more... irritable or generally on edge). After that incident I stopped but the guy who's touchy was starting to initiate more contact with me (a lot more than usual) so it got difficult *sigh* and then before I knew it (five days) it got me back into the habit. He's gotten A LOT more physical since the incident and I don't know why -_- maybe because I wasn't giving him as much physical attention/affection from before? Nonetheless I'll give it another go! (Even if I become once more a twitchy person again haha) Practice makes perfect :)

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