Have you ever asked for reassurance?

In a friendship, a relationship, for a certain situation..

And had the person you seeked reassurance from fail to give you that reassurance?


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What Guys Said 13

  • Yes, I do especially because I always assure and reassure the other person if required and I ask for assurance or reassurance only if I find the other person not very good in communication skills and if the other person shows lot of signs that indicates uncertainty in their behaviour.

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  • I think we have all done this to various degrees - One would be very fortunate to go through life without feeling that someone failed to give you reassurance. Next question is what to do?
    (1) Take a step back and analyse, is it really an issue or are you just having a down moment, if it is just a moment let it go and see how it goes.
    (2) You feel it is an issue - I would say to the person I feel something is happening, we need to talk about it and work it out. If you let lie in your head it will just stew and make it feel worse. It is a version of the have "Full/open and honest" communication advice.

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  • Sure I have. At some point or another I believe we all need reassurances from time to time from the people who care about or love. That's just part of the whole social behavior of being human. We want to know our affections and our efforts are being noticed and recognized for the things we do and they're worth continuing.

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  • as soon as/ the more you ask the greater the disappointment.

    you give power as you seek assurances... makes them feel as though they now can control you.. I did that with my beloved n she turned n burned me... I'll never seek assurance again.

    seek strength n the masses will follow... and remember the poor man has no friends! (poor here has nothing to do with finances but rather weaknesses or inefficiency...)

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  • Oh yeah often, I can sometimes be quite uncertain when I pick up signals from people.
    So I often ask confirmation that I didn't say or do something that may have upset the person :o

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  • Like reassurance how? Have them affirming that they love you or that you can trust them?

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    • 22d

      I guess in a specific case basis I had explained to him I knew he was busy with starting new things in his life, but my overthinking was making me feel like he was getting bored and losing interest and didn't want me anymore.

      And all he said was "you know you don't have to explain yourself to me, right?"

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    • 22d

      Okay. I can understand where he was coming from then. This is more than likely a conversation that should have happened in person. Knowing what you said it sounds like he was coming from a place of saying he understands the situation is a bit rough right now and that you don't have to explain yourself to him for feeling the way you do. That you don't have to apologize to him for how you're feeling.

      He definitely could have been more clear about that lol. But i've been in that situation before too. You're busy, you've got a lot going on and the girl feels unwanted to a certain extent, because of everything else that has taken priority over her for a period of time. Even tho it might be out of necessity. I can't speak to how he is feeling about you and the state of the relationship itself. But from his response to your message it comes across as he's in a very logical head space, because that's what he needs to be in right now. And he responded to an emotional circumstance logically

    • 22d

      He didn't know that emotional reassurance is what you needed in that moment, because of where his head is at right now. Perhaps trying to set aside some quality time needs to happen.

  • Not that I can recall.

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  • I've received it after venting about my terrible life for years. 😕

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  • I've never asked for it, but I pay attention to their behavior as actions speak louder than words.

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  • Define reassurance?

    Coz it's happened but not sure what context your asking?

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  • I've failed to give it so I try not to rely on it

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  • I have not. But I have thought about doing it before!

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  • Everyone needs reassurance. We need that validation, and we want to know we matter. This is crucial to keeping any relationship afloat. Think about it, When you go a long time without talking to a friend, you almost feel compelled to reach out and validate your presence. So, you let him or her know, Hey, I miss your face! Why do we do that? It’s because we desperately want it in return. We want to feel important, but we will never ever ask for it or make it known.

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What Girls Said 12

  • I ask my partner for reassurance quite a lot due to being diagnosed with anxiety, I usually feel nervous and crave reassurance about things. If it's a big thing, my partner will usually give me the reassurance that I need to try and calm down. Most often, however, with the smaller issues I get anxious about, he refuses to reassure me. He says that I need to decide on things on my own and can't rely on others to make everything better. He's never quite as harsh as I made it sound, but yeah, usually he will refuse to give reassurance and say I need to think about the situation and decide for myself. It does sound really cruel and heartless and I usually get upat with him when he does that but actually he's doing what my doctors have said is good 😂 It sucks at the time but it does help me calm down and learn to rationalise and deal with the anxiety for myself rather than ask him to deal with it for me, it feels pretty good being able to calm myself down. So not being given reassurance can sometimes be a beneficial thing, cruel to be kind 😊

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  • Yes..

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  • unfortunately yea I have since I have my fucked up insecure moments but luckily people have always been supportive and didn t take advantage of me when I was low but boosted my confidence.

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  • Yes. And yes they failed to reassure me. He just got really mad at me.

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  • Well i had a falling out with a friend which led to her reassuring me haha so yeah i guess.. i would never ask for it tho. Either someone wants to make an effort to explain themselves/say how they feel or ithey dont. If they dont, i move on.

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  • Nope

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  • I've never asked for reassurance. Either a person shows you they care about you or they don't. I don't read between the lines. If I feel someone doesn't care about me I reflect on myself. Is it because I am insecure and reading something that isn't there or is it because this person is actually disrespecting me and showing me through their actions they don't care.

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  • I have, don't always get it though

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  • Oh yeah. It's because I can be so insecure about myself at times. It's pathetic but it's the truth.

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  • yes of course

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  • Yes I have from my boyfriend a lot... applying for grad school is a stress

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  • Yes I did, in my last relationship. He was distancing himself and not taking an active interest in me anymore. When I asked for reassurance he just started getting angry. He wouldn't give me an explanation or listen to how I felt. So obviously his response clarified to me that he didn't care about me. He eventually ended because he was tired of me wanting reassurance.

    Looking back I can now see he didn't care at all.

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