Do you pretend that everything is okay when it's not?

Maybe you have doubts in your life? Maybe you don't know for sure what's going to be happening in the future? And it scares you? Do you think you have hope? You think you don't have enough strength to get back up?

Thanks for sharing :)

  • Yes :/
    87% (73)68% (26)81% (99)Vote
  • No ☺
    13% (11)32% (12)19% (23)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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What Girls Said 29

  • Yes but only around my parents. As soon as I express some kind of problem my parents become so extremely worried that they don't want to let go of me, which suffocates me. When I told them I was suicidal they stuck me to my home, majority of my freedom (that I needed the most) was taken away from me, purely because they were so worried about me.
    I could definitely never say I was raped my dad would go bat shit crazy as fuck and probably try to find a gun and kill that guy... and then lock me in my room forever and never meet guys ever again. lol... Let alone people...

    But other than that, I don't really pretend everything is fine, when I have something on my mind thats bothering me I'll go straight to my best friend and tell her whats on my mind and we'll talk about it. That way it don't bottle things up and I get over things and we sort our problems out together.

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    • 23d

      I can totally understand that. My best friends are on the same boat. But you seem more optimistic than them tbh. Good luck and keep fighting :)

  • Not anymore - I used to keep everything to myself but one day I told a friend something a bit personal and her strength and support was given with no judgement or unkind words and it helped so much.
    I'm always there for my friends and family, it's not uncommon for my phone to ring at 3am by a friend who needs a debrief or a hug and I have no problem going to them anytime - but to request that help for myself was hard until I realised that's exactly what friendship is. A two way street and I feel much lighter being able to share my burdens when I need to

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  • Yes, I do this chronically. Just how I was raised, I tend to keep things that are very personal problems to myself and act like I'm fine so not to stir people.

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    • 23d

      Don't. Things can get better. They have to get better. Find reason and just do it. Millions are having it worse than you, but a lot of them are happier for a simple reason... they do the things for themselves. They are what they really are. They don't change for others. Nothing in the world matters more than your own happiness.

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    • 23d

      Actually, it's easier to do it than living with the guilt/sorrow tbh. Only a few people realise that and that's why option A is winning the poll.

    • 23d

      I think that's a matter of opinion. For me it's not easy just because it apparently is for you.

  • All the time except for a select few people that I feel I can open up to. I don't like dragging others down with my problems.

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  • Yes all the time especially at work. Sometimes if I know someone else is going through something I wouldn't want to add my burden on to them.

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  • i don't really pretend. i think i'm honest to myself about the things that bother me. i know exactly what they are... but i don't force myself to dwell on those thoughts. i could spend days just lost in my thoughts and that is just... not a good way to spend your time.

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    • 23d

      It's great that you wake up every morning with the sole purpose of fighting and obliterating that demon. Yes, you may fail over and over and over again, but giving up isn't an option. You may fail 100 times and then you gave up. Would you have any hope again? No, because you stopped trying. Make the 101st move and kill it. Coz as long as you are trying, there will always be a hope.

    • 23d

      There's always hope! 💚

    • 23d

      A smart beautiful lady with a will. You the perfect woman 👑

  • Yea, most of the time I'm stressed and have a lot problems going on, but when I go out to like work or class or meet up with people I'm all smiles. I just don't like burdening people with my problems and also I just like to shove all the worries to the back of my head and just be happy. When I need to vent I only vent to my sister's and sometimes my mom.

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    • 23d

      Do you make efforts to be happy or just wait to get the things better by itself?

    • 23d

      The things I can do something about I make efforts to be happy, the things I cannot do anything about I pray and wait for good things to happen.

  • The only time I pretend that everything is ok, is when I am not happy, and something's are bothering me. I keep a lot of things to myself, and most are to heavy for me to carry as a burden.
    I don't have doubt about what will happen in my life. It is under control. 😊🙋

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  • Sometimes I pretend. I'm extremely good at hiding my emotions when I want to... I just usually can't be bothered lol.

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  • No, I wear my emotions on my sleeve. Cannot hide anything, especially not from the ones I love.

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  • Yes, because I don't want to burden other people with my problems. I'd rather solve them on my own.

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  • Yep I do. Especially when the depression sets in

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  • Yes. But I am always trying not to lose hope :)

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    • 23d

      Very nice :)

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    • 23d

      I feel same about quotes :) I even have a notebook for my favorite quotes. I like to read them and think about them.

    • 23d

      I think I should make one too. Sometimes, I post them on my Twitter, but most of the times I forget it :/

  • I'm pretty sure everyone does this. Nobody wants to be an open book-unfortunately most people can read me like one tho 🙄

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    • 23d

      I don't think so. Not everyone is sad. Yeah, everyone is sad at a point in one's life but it doesn't mean that they all deal with the things in the same way.

      And you're fortunate that the people around you, understand you.

  • Sometimes

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  • I think everything is ok, as long as I'm healthy. This morning I was rejected by my biggest crush ever so I'm kind of sad but I know I'll be fine soon, I'll find someone else and I'll be happy. As long as I'm healthy and so are all the people I love, then yeah, everything is ok.

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    • 23d

      So sorry to hear that. Sounds like a really unlucky guy.

      I liked your optimism and benevolent attitude :)

  • yes, but being that im a very expressive person most people who are close to me read right through it, unfort. my dad especially

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  • Yes, I try to hang on to hope.

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  • Yes some days are like that.

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  • Yes sometimes

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  • Yes, always I don"t like complaining unless it's really small things

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    • 18d

      Do you take steps to ameliorate your life?

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    • 18d

      I was also bullied until I realised that I'm strong enough to take a stand. Yes, not everyone is strong, but there are a lot of ways to prevent it. Your mind can do wonders. You could threaten them or something like that. Bullies only bully the weak.

      And telling parents or teachers isn't a bad idea either. I told my dad. He did nothing, but he told me that I'm strong enough to beat them. He believed on me. I tried, I succeeded.

      I mean you never know about your capabilities. There are a lot of things in life in which you just "let it happen", had you actually tried, the whole scenario would be different. We just keep on lying to ourselves that we can't do. You may fail a hundred times, but you may succeed at 101st time. As long as you do and don't lie to 'yourself' that everything is okay when it's not, there is a hope and things will get better :)

    • 18d

      I didn't wanted to fight them because I would get bruised and then my parent will discover I was being bullied.
      For teacher I tried to tell them but they tell me it was a none of their buissness and that they was tired of "kids" to complain for everything. (They told me that even if 3/4 of my class was here with me to tell them it was thrut they doesn't care at all).
      It's getting a lot worse if your oppose to them it happened to someone and the bullies send them to the hospital...

  • This is my life 24/7

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  • All day every day

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    • 23d

      I know it's super hard than it's done, but... you have to do something. Worst thing in the life :/

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    • 23d

      Thank you ex❤

    • 23d

      Stay blessed, beautiful :)

  • No lie, I tend to do that a lot. And is my mistake. Because I pretend I'm alright and try to solve things by myself to not burden anyone. Yet that has always gone bad for me since I should trust my friends/family/ partner to support me on my journey even if is bad or not. But I still have the tendency to pretend everything is alright

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    • 16d

      At least you try to make the things better which is an appreciable thing :) a lot of people don't even try.

  • yes I dont like people to see me weak or sad.

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  • I think everybody does? It's just life. Things happen, and we plod on.

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  • Everyone goes through times like this at some stage of their lives. Just know that it will work out, nothing last forever, it will pass. In the mean time do everything you can to make the situation better. Sometimes I pretend everything is ok in front of people who don't need to know, or negative people as well. I also don't tell my parents because its my life and don't need their worry on top of everything else.

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    • 23d

      The problem is that the people who hide it, don't "do everything you can to make the situation better"

    • 23d

      Well that depends on a situation. I'm an adult who lives in another country away from my parents and have my own family now, they don't need to know everything. Been through a lot in my life and its totally fine to deal with some stuff on your own or sharing with whom ever understands. Unfortunately some people may not understand and may make it worse instead. Its all depends, nothing is so concrete.

    • 22d

      I can understand. I wasn't asking only about opening to "others" tho. Some people even lie to themselves that everything is fine.

  • Most of us do.

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What Guys Said 16

  • Sure. No one gives a fuck, so it'd just end up embarrassing myself and exposing weakness which could be exploited.

    That's a lot of questions.

    Yes. Many doubts. I have so many doubts that I doubt my own doubts.

    No one knows for sure what's going to happen in the future. I could wake up tomorrow and get kidnapped by a Mexican drug cartel, or wake up to a bullet in the eye from a drive by, or I could somehow win millions of dollars. Or, as time has shown, it could be the same kind of bullshit as usual.

    No. There is no hope. Hope is just another way to suffer. Severing oneself from all expectations is a much more efficient way to live. Less pain. The Buddhists call it nirvana. The absence of desire = the absence of pain. Likewise, the minimization of desire = the minimization of pain.

    Strength. I don't know. It's not so much strength that gets me back up. More or less just pride and... what's the word..., hatred, since I can't think of the correct word, for the idea that my enemies would love nothing more than for me to give up. The best way to harm your enemies is by living a good life.

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    • 23d

      Weltschmerz? I believe as long as there is hope and desire, there is growth. And as long as you are growing, you'll be happy.

      Haha that's not "hated" I guess. Maybe "supremacy" or "dominance" would be the right word.

    • 23d

      That might be true with desire. After all, you do need some. But, I think you can still achieve growth while managing desire. But expectation, hope, doesn't help growth, at all. Because you're bound to be disappointed when you expect good things to happen.

      For instance, the rioters in the U. S. who expected and hoped that Hillary Clinton would win the Presidential election. They went insane, because they had expectations which ended up going unfulfilled. Had they accepted the possibility of Trump winning, they wouldn't have been so torn apart.

  • When it comes to the poll, neither nor, I'm usually content, there's not a lot that would faze/bother me. At the moment I really don't have anything to worry about

    media.giphy.com/media/QDK1pCI43lGhO/giphy.gif

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  • It depends on what is the most convenient thing to do in a given situation. If it calls for me to fully accept and roll with the fact that nothing is okay and I have to deal with it - I'm gonna make it known that nothing is okay. But if the situation is grave, but doesn't require immediate action, then I'll pretend that everything's okay just so I would stress over it less.

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    • 23d

      How about yourself? Are you honest to yourself? Do you lie to yourself that you are happy?

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    • 22d

      In the case of the abused victim, there's a clear perpetrator in mind. In my case, there is no one to give a name to. It's just "others."

    • 22d

      Yeah.. that's my point. It should never be "others" whether a distinct individual/community or a perceived associate. Extroverts see the whole world as a home.

  • Most people do not care about your problems at all. They might pretend they do, but in fact they couldn't be bothered to listen. If they give advice, it's often your run-off-the-mill advice that doesn't really have any substance. They don't want to help you because they care, but because the fact that they gave advice gives them the feeling that they are a good person, while in fact they didn't help anyone at all. That's why I, and many others, tend to prefer pretending everything is okay,

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    • 23d

      That's true. But my question wasn't limited to showing "others". Some people even lie themselves that they're okay while it certainly isn't.

  • I sometimes do it, because I don't want to spread negativity AND when I know that I can solve the issue myself. No need to make it bigger than it already is

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    • 23d

      That doesn't mean 'spreading the negativity'.

    • 23d

      It depends yeah. But some problems can really affect other people's moods.
      Other problems will just cause the person to be a bit worried about you and want to help (which is good),

  • ı did this and only a girl realized it

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  • I like to complain when i feel down it think it's very therapeutic but it can be unpopular or not right if someone else has more to deal with so I only complain sometimes.

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    • 18d

      Whiny type complaining is mostly anonymously online where pepole expect it and dont know you so won't think less of you especially as many want to complain about the same things which can be sort of nice sometimes like a moaning community.
      Why are such and such so useless is much more public and others are also more public about that not that i always share their views.
      ... is so hard when with pepole that can empathise.
      though I also tend to answer how are you with the truth more than most pepole witch is normally strangly that I don't really know?

    • 18d

      Im Ok now and was great earlier but also go through times when i feel depressed or stressed and worrying about something.

  • I've been doing that a lot lately.

    No use whining about what you can't control and/or something that, by it's very nature, can be easily solved by NOT complaining.

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  • depends on what's going on and who I'm talking to

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  • Oh yes.

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  • No, I'm not good at pretending.

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  • No I'm always my cynical self, just act more aloof because inner frustration and such

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  • No. Everything is okay.

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  • no I just play it cool and wait for the right moment and when it appears go all in

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  • Depends. Sometimes if you vent your problems or frustrations, people see you as whiny and weak. It really depends on the time and place as well as the person I'm speaking to.

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