I was just having a conversation about parenting, and it got me thinking.
Statistically, a boy without a father or with a bad father is more likely to act out and get into trouble.
A girl without a father or with a bad example of a man is more likely to choose men that aren't so good.
A boy without a mother isn't as likely to behave as mentioned above.
A girl without a mother, with a good father, is less likely than the ones mentioned above to choose bad boyfriends.
For generations we've said children need their mothers, and they do. And only recently have we placed such emphasis on the need of Fathers in a child's life.
Are fathers much more important than we'd thought?
The conversation I had today about kids without one parent really really made me think.
I've always said the mother is the heart of the home and the father is the head of the home. But is it in fact the other way around? Do we fall apart more when we don't have father's? And really, the mother does make most decisions in the home usually- How to decorate, where the kids will go for babysitting, what clothes the kids wear, what they'll have for dinner today. So to me, it now seems the father is the heart while the mother is the head.
What do you think?
Most Helpful Guy
You know, I don't know but I do know that I take my job as a father unbelievably seriously. I went through a rough divorce and I had to fight for every second that I have with my daughters. To the courts, it didn't matter that I was the one who cooked all of their meals. It didn't matter that I did all the grocery shopping, that I was the sole contributor to their college funds, their clothing, their food, their daycare, or their extra-curricular activities (their mother is an exorbitant spender). When the orders were first filed, the courts gave me ONE day per week with my girls. In the end, things ended up ok -- I get six out of 14 days, which didn't make me happy but when I talked to my attorney about it, I realized that I was just being unreasonable.
But you know what really gave me faith that things would be ok? I have this nanny who helps me on Saturdays for gymnastics. Her father relinquished all claim on her in exchange for not having to pay back child support and this act completely crushed her and she has not seen this guy since that day in court. However, she admits that to this day, there are times when she wants to call him up and ask if she could come over and just hang out with him. I have this other friend who is 36 and just got married. She never knew her dad, but a few days after her wedding, she posted on Facebook how she wishes that her dad would call her so she could talk to him.
I think about how shitty these two guys are as fathers, yet these women still seek them out. At that point, I realized that no matter what the courts decided, it would always be ok. It might not be what I wanted but so long as I was there and maximized whatever time I got with them, we'd be ok as a family.
After typing this, I'm no longer certain this has anything to do with your question.1
Most Helpful Girl
Both parents a equally as important.
I grew up without my father and, and I wouldn't just say I was fine, but I was actually much better off. My mother is an amazing lady.
... but I'm glad and relieved that my daughter has her dad in her life. I never experienced how important that bond was for myself, but I see it in them.1