How do parents handle children?

I can't name a single reason why people want to children. Children annoy me in general. If I did have children, they would hate me. But it's worse because I'm an introvert. I can't imagine having to spend all day at a job where I have to interact with people just to come home and have children to deal with. People make me feel physically tired. After a day of interacting with people, I will want to relax with a favorite tv show and dark chocolate. Not clean up a dirty house for the third time that day. My younger brother is a complete brat so I hope all your children are better. I feel really bad for the parents who have had a bad day at work, just to go home and have to clean up their children's messes. That's not even the worst part. I've heard young kids say hurtful things to their parents. How do you handle it? I asked my childfree by choice group and the best answer I got was that they take it a little bit at a time.


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What Guys Said 11

  • I think what you fail to see is that children aren't just annoying, they also give you an incredible amount of energy (not physical energy but emotional and "spiritual" energy for the lack of a better word). My mom has often told me that my siblings and I have helped her through difficult phases in her life. This works on two levels. Firstly, children give you a lot of emotional strength, similar to a loving relationship or a very deep friendship (but even stronger than that because they're not "strangers" you met on campus but your own flesh and blood). Secondly, being a good parent necessarily efforts being very grown up in a lot of ways. Maybe you think you're already grown up but not even remotely as grown up as you'd be as a mom. That's not a personal criticism, it's true for every person on this planet. Being a good mom/dad means to be incredibly organized, disciplined, responsible and many other things. My girlfriend has been babysitting little children as a side-job next to her university education for the past 2 years and I can see a huge difference. We were both already mature and grown-up people before that but she's got quite an edge over me now. For example stressful situations (such as a child wetting itself in public) used to scare her in the beginning and I know I would feel very stressed in such a situation but after 2 years, my girlfriend handles all these situations like a boss and with the patience of a buddha. So in short: children force you to grow as a person. They force you to step outside of your comfort zone and thereby improve yourself. Together with the love that naturally exists between parents and their children, this is something very positive about kids. Something that cannot be replaced by a pet or an adult friend. I also believe it's probably not possible to fully grasp the intensity of these positive effects unless you experience them yourself.

    Furthermore, forgive me but I have to bring up your age here: Being 19, it is natural you want to travel and have fun. That's the purpose of our late teens and early 20s. People at this age want to travel, have casual sex, try drugs, be crazy etc.. That's all cool. However, at one point - and I can tell you this because I am myself currently at this point - you start to feel deep inside that you get older. I don't feel like partying or being wild anymore. I still love traveling but I can also do that with my future children. I do feel an urge to settle down. And (cont.)

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    • 12d

      I hate parties. I'm don't want kids because I would rather party. I would rather focus on my career. The end.

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    • 12d

      I have four siblings. I know what I'm missing. The end.

    • 12d

      "The end"? Wow, you might not be naive or stupid but you're certainly one snotty brat. Memo to you: you're not a 19th century British princess and I'm not some ragged peasant. There's absolutely no reason to be so fucking arrogant.

  • I'd say the best way to go about it would be to learn how to get them to feel invested in doing something so that they have fun, and have fun with them having fun or something

    As for toddlers? No fucking clue. Screamers will be the death of me.

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  • Once kids are about 8 or 9, I think they can be really fun, depending on your interests. They almost always have enough energy to do stuff and most things are new to them, so they are more open to trying stuff.
    I enjoy playing board games with them, sports, and doing crafts sometimes. It depends on the person, if you have good behavior management skills to get them to cooperate more.
    It can be difficult at first when it is someone else's kid, because they aren't used to how you like things done, but if you had your own, you could teach them what is important to you. Putting in more effort at first makes it a lot easier in the long run, and then it becomes enjoyable.
    Plus it can be fun to see how excited they get over stuff.

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  • Some can, some can't. Just that simple. It really takes a lot of patience. Ill be lucky to be able to handle my nephew well, but maybe he will be a quiet child.

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  • Lmao I dont fucking know I agree with you! It's some bulkshit about fulfiment... Are people badgering you about kids because you seem distressed. You ok?

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    • 12d

      My younger brother is just being a little shit. I think he might be the real lucifer.

    • 12d

      The real lucifer would be far more clever haha 😉
      Good luck bud

  • Fuck if I know

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  • I dont know i just do it. When i was in the scouts i managed 10 kids at a time. You just keep busy with them and play games with them like hide and seek and shit.

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  • They have to want them. It's not for everyone.

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  • I honestly don't get why you constantly ask about parents and children so much if you hate getting heckled and lectured about it...

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    • 12d

      My question was why do people choose to have kids, instead of answering my question, people spun that around asked about my decision to not kids. If you don't like it, cool. Don't read my stuff then.

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    • 12d

      I mean, even if I didn't like it, as blasphemous as that may be, I wouldn't have a problem considering it's a take how you like something or ask about it. What I would have a problem with is if you didn't like it and kept asking why people like it. Maybe keep it on the down low, but I think the walking dead and American horror story are the 2 most overrated shows I've ever laid my eyes upon. But I'm not going to tell everyone I don't like them and why I don't like them and ask always why do people like them. I might mention it every once in a blue moon. Maybe I'll make a mytake (highly unlikely), but I'm not going to constantly ask and tell people how much I don't like it and then wonder why people on this site are constantly heckling me how great of a show it is. They aren't going to change my mind and I sure as shit don't wanna deal with those people. Not worth it. I'll just get that people like their shows and I like mine. I don't like them and I'll leave it at that (generally)

    • 12d

      Once again, never mind.

  • I could say the same about people that don't want kids. It just baffles my mind.
    I am a introvert and i don't see the relation

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    • 12d

      I want to focus on my career and travel. As an introvert, I like quiet and people make me feel physically exhausted. If I get dragged to a party for a few hours, I will need a nap afterwards. I don't want to get home after after a long day of work and hearing children screaming and misbehaving when I literally just walked through the door. What I do want is some quiet and dark chocolate.

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    • 12d

      You were the one that brought up my personal decision to not have kids. My question was about why people want kids.

    • 12d

      Ok i'm sorry.

  • Just ask your parents how they handled you.

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    • 12d

      Yeah I don't know how they did with my four other siblings.

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    • 12d

      I like a variety of opinions. Not just from two people.

    • 12d

      Well start with them so you at least have a real idea and not speculation.

What Girls Said 9

  • You are aware that introverts have kids too, lol. I am an introvert, and though I don't have kids, I've spent a fair portion of my life working around them. I don't consider them annoying. Just like adults, they have their moments where they are sweet and loving AND quiet, and then they can be the total opposites. Not too many adults or kids including yourself are just one note where they only ever show one side of themselves 100% of the time. I just spend the holidays with my 2 year old nephew and he had so many different moods throughout the day from fantastic to tantrum. You deal with them like you also learn to deal with other adults and their moods. You also know kids won't be kids forever. You don't find many 8+ year olds having full on tantrums like 2 year olds. They grow and change and you grow and change with them.

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  • I have a child, and love her. But I am not a kid friendly person to other kids. The constant, crying, screaming, picking them up and holding them annoy. And I dont like having to clean up after anyone. My daughter never gives me any problem, she is 10 and I can honestly say that she wasn't a problem child like most kids I come across crying every 5 minutes.

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  • If children are being that intolerable, their parents aren't finding what motivates them to behave. They are either being neglected, abused, confused, spoiled, or what I call, raised by "distracted" parents. These kids grow up to be a burden to themselves and others as adults because they were not given a proper and safe structure to emotionally develop.

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    • 12d

      I have a theory about children that there aren't bad children, just bad parents. And by "distracted" I mean parents who aren't making the child the priority they ought to because there are too many kids, the parents work too much, it's a single parent with a new love interest or they don't realize they are being irresponsible with their child's needs.

  • My goodness girl, you sure you don't hate kids? These rants are getting scary! I'm not a parent, but I'm a nanny, a godparent, and an aunt. So I'm around children all the time. All the parents I know have gone through a rough patch or two, but they've all said that they wouldn't trade their kids for the world. For some people, it's just worth it.

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    • 12d

      Maybe my brother is a bad seed. I just can't do it on an every day basis. I still wonder how my parents did it with five kids.

  • Discipline, love, and a lot of patience.

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  • usually with field trips to the Grand Canyon ('-' )

    media.giphy.com/media/KOEc8ca7DELmw/giphy.gif

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  • Hey, parenthood isn't for everyone, and that's ok.

    It is what it is.

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  • Just don't have children...

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  • If your parents thought like you, you wouldn't be alive today. :)

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    • 12d

      Thank you for that lesson in biology. And I wouldn't be here to hear such a ridiculously stupid statement.

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    • 12d

      I don't think I have the bandwidth to handle kids. They'd probably hate me. My younger brother never cleans up after himself. When he comes home from school, you can accurately guess what he did when he walked in through the door. He literally leaves a trail. I don't know how my mom and dad do it.

    • 12d

      One thing every parent should do with brats is to avoid shouting and screaming at them. Persistence is the key. Say the same advice with the same even tone again and again and again... until it gets drilled into their heads. There is no point in going mad at them. Coz all you will get is giggles. :D

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