Why do shy/introverted/quiet people get so much hate?

As a shy person, i don't like this whole negative association with being quieter than others. I'm just afraid of talking to people.


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What Guys Said 16

  • Having dealt with this my whole life, I believe its mostly because people think we're hard to understand. Im not introverted just very shy and awkward. I have always had a hard time socially interacting with others. Then you have those silent types that just snapped and committed mass murder which inadvertently painted all us quiet types as potential killers. I used to get bashed on all throughout high school because I was very quiet and stuck to myself. People called me psycho and a freak. Extroverted people usually think introverted people are just sleeping psychopaths. Thankfully there are decent people still left that appreciate us still. In my case of being a 28 year old virgin, the Elliot Rodgers murders painted all us virgin guys as misogynist psychopath killers. But like I said not all do.

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    • 7d

      That whole psychopath killer trying only happens where there are a lot of guns availible, and little help for people who don't want to pay for medical care.

      Shy people don't just snap like that, and neither do introverts. It might start off that way, where being shy stems from being made fun of and then after years hey go berserk. But people are the same everywhere, with the same feelings, and the only places you hear of mass shootings and things like that are in places where there are less restrictions and rules about guns and weapons

    • 7d

      @steveguitar what I was trying to say is that when the media talks about a mass murderer being a shy, reserved, and such it tends to paint a picture that maybe all shy quiet types have potential to be the next mass murderer. I dont have any intention on killing people, but i own several guns. The 'virgin killer' Elliot Rodgers, in his twisted last moments made everyone view late in life virgins appear like potential monsters and or misogynists. I say everyone, what I meant was majority. A few rotten apples spoil the bunch.

  • Being an introvert myself, I think we're just harder to get a read on than your typical extrovert. Plus, we don't need the company of others 24/7 -- I think some people kinda take offense to that.

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  • I think that people who aren't shy just can't understand shyness. Besides it can be a mixture of shyness and being an introvert, they are different things. Often one leads to another I think.

    People like to know about everyone, they hate mystery. Especially confident people, they have this thing about knowing everyone, and when they can't, it is something that they cannot control. Confident people live on control

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  • I'm incredibly shy as well. I don't talk to new people at all, even though I have a ton to say and could go on for hours on different topics. I just am terrified of being in large groups, having the spotlight, or being the topic of discussion.
    I'd say the negative association come from honestly, the media, school shooters, and the idea that we're secretly sociopaths.

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  • Usually they make conversation awkward. They can't function as a team and in many instances are selfish - incapable of selfless acts.

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  • Because they are unlikely to assert themselves against bullies.

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  • Because it's expected that you get out there and be a fun extroverted person. I'm shy but I'm not incapable of being assertive. I'm not selfless. I wear a uniform every month. Yet, it's still seen as a bad thing since you don't seem to be as fun as other people

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  • As one myself, I find I'm just plane ignored for the most part more than getting hate.

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  • ı dont hate them

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  • Some people percieve them as stuck up, rather than recognizing that they are only shy/introverted.

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  • Since you are under 18 I think it is just an issue that people have ar school. I am quiet and introverted and I have never had any hate in my three years of University. I would just advise you to be yourself and to wait it out until you are around more mature people.

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  • Because shy and introverted is mostly just used as an excuse for insecurity.

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  • Maybe you just need someone specific to open up to more

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  • Because people want to talk, and when you just stay quiet they hate u for that

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  • People get nervous when they dont know anything about you. They are afraid of who might be lurking inside and they probably realize you know way more about the people around you than they know about you. Since you aren't always gabbing about yourself. If you're to shy its kind of seen as rude like if someone says hello you need to speak in a professional setting.

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  • I think they mostly get hate from other shy people. Then they are both at an impasse because they are both too shy to ask the other out and they remain single.

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What Girls Said 9

  • I've dealt with this issue in the past, it took me a long time to grow into the person I am today, and even now as an adult i am still quiet. I am reserved, and I'm okay with that.
    I think people who are quiet, tend to be misunderstood a lot of the time. Others don't know you're naturally quiet, or that you prefer not to always be in the spot light of things. Being a quiet individual isn't an issue at all. I found, through past experiences of being a quiet highschool kid, that other students often thought i was angry or upset and thats why i wasn't talking. They didn't understand i'm quiet bec. i'm listening intently, or thinking about a whole bunch of stuff, or focusing on things. I take it thats probably why they get the hate, because it's hard to read quiet people.

    But, no matter what, I hope you learn to appreciate these little traits about you that make you, you. Don't let someone pass judgement or let yourself get hurt by people's words. There will always be someone who has an issue, no matter what there's no pleasing everyone in the world. You have to please yourself, be you and be proud of who you are.

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  • In Europe they don't. Extroversion is a more valued quality in the US than it is in Europe (At least, that how we studied it in Uni lol).

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  • Same. A lot of people who don't know me very well think I must be some stuck up cunt just because I'm quiet, like wtf? Others sometimes assume I am very smart because of my silent nature as well, but just because I'm quiet doesn't mean I know all the answers (although I am decently intelligent).

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  • probably because people are more afraid of things they don't understand. we deviate from the accepted social norms, so that makes people weirded out and b*tchy.

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  • People these days like to talk and talk regardless of whether or not what they are saying makes any sense or is even true. Shy, introverted, quiet people get hate because if you don't join in immediately in a conversation people unfortunately will soon begin to make conversations about you. It's very wrong and unkind. Always remember that hate comes from those that do not understand what is happening in a situation, to a person, place, or thing and it comes from people that find something they lack in the world. A wonderful quote to you: Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss words. Small minds discuss people. Be true to yourself and spread love. Be nice to people.

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  • ı like them they are just can't stand fake people that why they r wuiet

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  • do they? ı love them

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  • I don't think they get that much hate. People might just be annoyed when they want getting something out of a shy person, but the person is too afraid to talk.

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  • The world was made for extroverts.

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