Not gonna mince words...I am hearing (imo) an astounding number of situations where couples break off an engagement or bust their marriage because of her or his family...idk..maybe I am whacked..I believe my wife is inherently the most important person in all of the world...sure I am aware of the divorce rate...but who could possibly be more important than your mate?
From my point of view: until I am willing to put my girlfriend in front of my mother, I am not ready to marry this lady. You will spend the rest of your wife and share responsibility in everything you do for the rest of your life. She can't be in second place.
While I believe it is important for me at my age (19) for my parents to approve of whomever I'm in a relationship with, in the long run, I don't need their approval. So in the long run, my spouse would win.
Well I'm not married, but I can imagine that would be a very difficult decision for me because I'm extremely close to my family. But, unless there was something VERY worrying about my choice in a partner, I would expect my family to support me rather than trying to come between us. I'd be frustrated with them if they caused problems over my relationship. and I wouldn't side with them- but I don't know if I could say my spouse was more important to me.
My family and I have a very close relationship, and I trust that they would never dislike a boy without good reason. However, I'd hope that they'd point out any red flags BEFORE we get married, haha. They know how I feel about divorce.
Long story short, my future husband will be the most important person in the world to me. But, I will listen to my family if they have any concerns. I won't necessarily leave him (it'd take a lot for me to leave him), but I will listen to what they have to say.
I'm not really normal, I find my friends and partner more important than my family, maybe if the family member I loved the most was still alive I'd find them important with my friends/partner but without that family member its not a hard choice at all for me. Most of my family already is against me with the guy I love... So obviously I won't be listening to them. They support my 23 year old sister with a 17 year old from Scotland but not me with a American guy of my age cause he's black so their opinion doesn't matter to me.
family is so important(parents,sisters,brothers).. but when we have our own family, my family more important (husband,kids). you know it is kinda complicated.. but am sure you hv more experience than me!:D
I don't really know how to answer this but I I don't think I would like my parents to involve too much in my relationship or marriage.Most of the time I will go with my family but I won't like them to interfere in my personal problem unless if I really need help or support from them.Both of them are very important to me but I would have to go with my family.
i would definitely say your spouse. I don't know if this will make sense, but if your family is crazy and doesn't have a legit reason/excuse for not being OK with your spouse then you shouldn't listen to them. if however your spouse has been charged with sexual assault/harassment, rape, attempted murder, had anger problems, etc. I can be a little bit more understanding if they have objections. I do believe that people can change, but that would be a really tricky situation.
i appreciate all that my family have done to raise me. but, once you become an adult and make your own family, you are responsible for your own family, they should always come first. but we do have the duty to care for your parents as much as possible.
in terms of dating, I have met people who would give up a healthy relationship due to family opposition. if an individual chose to make peace in the family, how will he every make peace and/or make his/ her own family. because you can't please everyone...you have to know what's more important to you once you are an adult and allowing your family to dictate your love life then it will be very hard for you to be independent.
well when you marry the person you also marry their "village" aka their family. Like it or not family will get involved and there will be functions where you have to mingle (whether it is you with their family or them with yours). When I broke my engagement off, one of the issues was that my fiance of that time was very reluctant to mingle with my family and put no effort. I didn't quite fit in with his family either, but at least I showed up to all their events and managed myself enough to get along with his family, which was not a courtesy he returned. For 6 years of our relationship, he showed up only once to my family's event and only because he couldn't find an excuse to bail last minute. After a while my family lost respect for him. Granted this wasn't the only reason we broke up, but it was defiantly a big one. I need a person with whom I can build my own family without cutting loose our families.
I think the only people who should be more important than your spouse is your kids. Brothers and sisters and parents... no. Sure they're important, but you all have your own lives once you get older. They'll have their own kids and families they start which will be their main focus.
This is something I've tried to explain to my mom a number of times. She's important in my life, but I'm 26. I have my own life now. I don't need to visit every weekend. Once a month is enough. I've got work, friends, and a boyfriend.
From what I remember as a kid, she only visited her mother twice a year. We rarely saw my grandmother, so I think I contact her more. We text almost everyday and I visit once a month. It's probably more then most people can say, and she talks about I'm selfish for putting work and my boyfriend before her.
I don't have a spouse so currently family my family. If I can't see a man as being more important than my family then he isn't the one for me. I wouldn't marry him in the first place if we both didn't feel that way about each other.
I can't make a blanket decision without knowing the details of the situation, who is right or wrong and such. But as a general rule I don't do ultimatums and the party who backed me into a corner and forced me to decide between one or the other is definitely the one I would have an easier time saying bye to unless they had a really strong case.
Speaking from experience, if your wife loves and cares for you 10 out of the 10 times a problem arises with you and your family, her choice is mostly the right choice even if you don't totally agree with it at that time. When you look back, your glad you took her side of the equation.
This isn't a one way street though, she has confronted her family more then a couple of times to protect me from their judgments.
Our families know we are very protective of one another and my father in-law totally agrees with me and told me he trusts any decision I make that involves his daughter, which is a big deal for me.
When I was first introduced as the boyfriend he told me he has a shotgun and a shovel, I'm glad he finally warmed up to me :D
Meanings and truth have been washed away and watered down in the USA. Few know the difference between a woman and lady.
In biblical marriages it is said, "forsaking all other" a man will leave his family and a women will leave her family to become one with God.
The man is the head of the house and the wife is to be obedient to the husband.
A troubled marriage in the making is the Prince and his new bride. His bride changed the terms of the marriage contract and removed the word obey. This is crucial given the Queen is the head of the church.
a great girlfriend is the only dream worth living for. Its better than a dream job, better than anything money can buy, better than anything else imaginable. A woman who is worth all the wait, all the trouble and all the effort a man can give is hard to find, harder get and hardest to keep. These are called Angels and never succeeded in my 27 years of existence getting more than one date. Angels are out there but getting one by my side is a bigger miracle than the return of Jesus. Haven't quit yet, but failed more times than I can count.
my realest friends are guys and we go almost to the ends of the earth to keep each other. They all know that even the most hardcore loyalty and brotherhood will never come a priority after the girl. Its hard to tell my friends that are closer to me than my family is that they all are the second choice if I will have to make that decision, but still they all understand it.