Needing space means break up?

When someone says they love you but need space does that mean they are trying to break up with you in a nice way? Or are we still together and he just wants time apart? He told me not to text him for awhile so I can't really ask him. I'm just not sure if I should be trying to get over him or wait until he's ready for me. If someone said they wanted time apart what would you think that means?

 

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Most Helpful Opinion

  • Technically, it's a temporary "pause" to allow one of the people to get their head straight, figure out their other problems, and get back on track.

    In the real world, when such a request isn't accompanied by some clear goals, such as "I need to get caught up in my classwork, I need to get my apartment clean and organized, and I need to deal with my car that needs a lot of work," it's usually the beginning of the end. If he knew what was wrong, and that wasn't YOU, he should have told you what WAS wrong, so that you could get some sense of how long you would have to wait "on hold" for him. Without that information, "taking a break" is a potentially infinite pause, and that's not acceptable.

    If you seriously can't talk about this with him, and get HIM to answer these questions, then I recommend that you assume that your relationship is over, and proceed accordingly.

    Oh, one more point: in a relationship, text him somewhere like 1/4 to 1/10 as often as you want to, and find a way to be face-to-face with him instead. You should NEVER talk about important relationship issues in any thing other than face-to-face unless it's an absolute emergency, and then voice calls only, NEVER by text. Girls tend to over-text guys and drive them crazy. I'm not saying you did this, but if you think you MIGHT have, think long and hard about what I said.

    • The reality is that LDRs just don't work, or rather, they only VERY RARELY work, and only if both people have an ENORMOUS commitment to making it work, and are willing to make huge sacrifices for it. A college-age guy? Forget it. He can't handle being alone, and you can't physically be there. You should have been honest with each other and broke up before you left. Anyway, I would accept that this is over and start moving on.

    • Yeah you are probably right. The sucky thing is we kinda had a long distance relationship because I moved for college and he seemed fine with it but after two months I don't think he can take it any more. I wish he would talk to me but every time I ask him if I can call him he's too busy doing stuff. I just miss him and I don't know if I'm ready for this to be over.

What Guys Said 1

What Girls Said 3

  • If someone is 'right' for you, they don't 'need space' or WANT space. The cold girl way to deal: Find someone new, make sure he accidentally on purpose finds out...ignore him. They sometimes come back around to get your attention back - they like feeling they have the upper-hand on you, because you are approaching them and giving them an ego boost. They start to miss that ego boost when you go, If I date someone better at that point, II find I'm mad by then at how they treated me and don't want them anyway! You're young, it takes awhile to develop my attitude, though. I went through what you've been through a few years ago.

  • I would just give him space for a couple of weeks and honestly if he truly loves you and misses you he will prob contact you. If he doesn't then I would prob take that as a break up. You can contact him if you desire but if he's not putting in any effort then it's kinda pointless.

  • I would take that as breaking up.

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