That is our downfall.I don't trust guys easily but when I have more often than not I've come to regret it.most of the time that trust is abused so why don't people learn from mistakes and stop being so vulnerable and trusting? It just hurts you in the end, wake up!
Possibly because they have this idealized view of guys and are often conditioned and told that distrusting guys is misandry, evil feminism, and man hating.
Most of the time that trust is abused so why don't people learn from mistakes and stop being so vulnerable and trusting?
Perhaps they think this time will be different or that the possible fallout is worth it. In my opinion being trusting isn't a flaw rather it's who a person chooses to trust.
"I don't trust guys easily but when I have more often than not I've come to regret it."
Perhaps you'd be better suited to question why you choose to trust them and what patterns in being untrustworthy do the guys have rather than what seems to be a 'gals need to wake up and guys are trust abusers' notion.
Girls are trusting because of the way they were raised. If a baby boy cries, his cries are attended to far less often and less quickly than those of a baby girl. What you teach a baby boy with this kind of reinforcement is that his feelings don't matter. The he can cry and nobody will care, and that's mostly true for our society. On the same note, by responding to a baby girl's cries so quickly, you're teaching her that if she summons comfort, it will be there for her. That all she has to do is communicate what she wants and she'll have it.
This, among many other psychological factors, are why women are more social and men are more solitary. Women define themselves based on their relationships with others, men define themselves based on the things they do in life.
Everyone is psychologically indoctrinated, but women have more of it coming at them than anyone else, and sadly, most of them don't even seem to be aware of it. They're so caught up in the system. Lost in a maze of relationships.
Well I'd say more a question "why are people so trusting?" is better than that because I feel that how trusting you are comes from your personality and not from your gender. But anyway, I think it is true that a persons trust can be easily abused so you ask why don't people learn from their mistakes? Who says it was a mistake to trust somebody? It was just the wrong person, I figure. On that note why haven't people stopped going to war for example? I mean that hurts you in the end even if you manage to survive, usually mentally and physically. Because of the same reason why people trust others. Because they think the risk of getting hurt is worth it, to get a good friendship or relationship going or in my example because they think the cause they are fighting for is good enough to die for. And if you never trust anyone besides yourself, it's not going to be much of a life now is it? Even surrounded by other people, you would be alone because you would trust no one.
If you will never trust anyone - what gonna become of you?
Will you have your fairy-tale relationship of which you've been thinking since your childhood? Or - will you have any relationship at all?
Could you be happy such way? Or being paranoid, nervous and high-strung sounds like a better way of life?
You see - you must tell the difference between what is trustworthy and what is not - blindly trusting everything is bad but so the same bad is blindly mistrusting everything - you either are blinded by light or live in complete darkness but in either way you won't see the real picture.
you wake up. life is gonna be sh*tty for you if you refuse to trust anybody. trust is a thing that's won and lost. but you can't be like a light switch and either completely trust people or not trust people. you have to learn how to judge things wisely.
Because sometimes we start thinking that the risk is worth taking. You meet someone that you realize you really really want to let in, you really want to trust in. And it happens whether you want it to or not. Its really hard for me to completely trust a guy too, but my current one, is doing a really good job of helping me with that. Sometimes its kinda lonely to have all those walls up..
First of all I'm going to respond as though you saud 'people' not women. everyone has been lied to. everyo any believed someone wg was playing games.
n any case I find it odd youd point the finger at the truster. as if being deceitful is the rational / emotional basis of humanity and trust stems from flawed thinking, from a diseased mind. that is a literally insane view.
you met some a**holes and you think all women are victims.
people can convince themselves they believe what they want to. sometimes other people break down. they did not intentionally lie. sh*t happens. or you are both well intentioned but life happens. nothing works the way you wanted.
this is not a problem of 'trust'. if you don't trust how can you understand yourself or anyone around you. youd be completely paranoid/ schizid all the time.,
and pain is not something you should expect to go through life without experiencing. nor is it entirely negative. you are supposed to learn from i. not use it as proof all people suck and you should live as little as possible.
take risks live learn. that's what you do in life.
hurt is part of life. so is joy.
insisting one sex does something on purpose to the other. or one sex is an idiot in relation to the other is not life. its fantasy. its not even a thought that allows for change. its stunted growth intellectally spirtitually emotionally physically.
what do you do in a life where you think men are out to get you.
is your father a liar. your brothers. yuor cousins your male friends. your male teachers. the make cashier at the gass station. exactly where do you think you can go with this.id you really think you can trust no man, you have no reason to involve yourself with men, period. which means youve nothing to worry about accidentally trusting the wrong guy.
if you meant what you say, there would be nothing to say because men would be nothing to you.
so you're just complaining and want to see it as a profound realization. I don't think calling billions of women stupid and billions of men a**holes, is new, profound or realistic, or progressive. its an old stereotype. that stunts social growth. why you want to contribute to mindless drivel instead of seriously examining where you want to be and what your actual obsticals are.. is an enigma to me.
note. it is usually compulsive liars who do not trust others. they expect them to act the same way they do.
I can't relate because after getting my heart screwed many times and trusting people only to get hurt or betrayed, I've changed my ways and the only people I trust are my mom and my best friend. That's it. My last boyfriend ended up f***ing me around and now it will take me months to trust another guy.
because when we like him so much and he is wonderful in some ways we just want to hold onto him in whatever way we can even if we know deep down we probably shouldn't. it's hard when you have strong feelings for a man.