Why do I have this effect on guys?

After I broke up, I've met a lot of guys between the ages 18 - 28, and like half of them just see me and get h0rny and b0ners, and want me sexually. Why is that?

(I don't dress slutty, I'm like almost always in leggings or jeans and since I don't have a lot of boobs I don't like showing "cleavege")

Sometimes I like the attention, but I'd like for them to want more than just sex.

I'm 21 y.o


Most Helpful Guy

  • To answer your question: you have that effect on guys because you are attractive and they are guys. That is the answer. Don't look for another one, because it doesn't exist. A couple of points:

    1) Be grateful that you have this "problem. Many women don't but wish they did.

    2) Men are sexual creatures. We just are. You can lament that fact all you want, but it is not our fault and it will never change. Women and men are different by nature. We (both genders) can take neither the credit nor the blame for it...it is just the way we are. Accept it and work within the bounds or reality.

    3) Just be selective about the guys you choose to date. You are fortunate to have a huge pool from which to select. Choose wisely, and appreciate the gift you have been given.

    • All of this is absolutely true, plus, men are in their sexual peak years from 16-25 or so, and so guys you meet are right in that range, have tons of hormones pumping through them, and want to hump everything they see. When you're 35, and hitting YOUR sexual peak and humping everything, you'll WISH every guy wanted you for sex.

      You just have to know that you're going to have to filter out most guys, because they just want sex, in order to find the guys who want a relationship too.

    • Right on, Mt Oracle. Also, there can be and often is sweet spot from the late 20s through early 30s when a man's waning libido and a woman's escalating one converge and result in utter bliss. Don't ask me how I know this. :)

    • He has matured and is more experienced in how to please her, and her libido is ramping up while her inhibitions are less significant. A recipe for magic!

What Guys Said 7

  • It's probably as simple as that you are very attractive to the guys in those said areas...even if you don't think so because you have smaller boobs.

    Just because they look at you and desire you sexually, doesn't mean they JUST want sex.

    Even the most sweetheart genuine boyfriend and husband material guys...also want sex at some point as well.


    Why do you think those guys JUST want sex because they find you attractive? This sounds like unfair stereotyping.

  • You are attractive

    All men, even the good ones like sex. Boyfriend material are they guys who want a lot more than sex.

    Probably not a lot you can do but you could try ditching the leggings. Sure guys like all of a woman's body but the backside is probably the most sexually attractive part.( I guess our brains haven't evolved much since we walked on four legs!) Nice legs are a real head turner too.

    To be frank, I guess the problem is more about how you feel , rather than the behavior of these men though. 50% of men certainly aren't creeps or sexual predators. I'm guessing you are uncomfortable with being attractive following your breakup?

  • They literally get boners in front of you? Leggings are tight, and you mentioned you don't have boobs so I'll assume you do have ass, that may also be a factor. Anyways be happy about this cause you'll eventually find a good guy, some girls are so insecure about their looks that they would die to be in your position.

  • Most guys I know, myself included, much prefer ass to boobs. Leggings or tight jeans could play a role in that.

  • Well, if you have a nice ass and you're in leggings, you're going to have that effect on guys. That's the effect a nice ass is SUPPOSED to have on guys.

    Just remember--just because a guy gets a hard on looking at your butt, it doesn't make him a bad guy! In fact, quite the opposite--you WANT they guy you're with to want you like that, BADLY! Once you find a guy you're into the way he'll really bond to you is by getting a LOT of boners around you and playing with you until you relieve the pressure.

    Have fun, unicorn!

  • well I'm sure your good looking and a lot guys just look to try to get sex so that's probably it.


What Girls Said 3

  • Yuck. If by that you mean they come on too strongly, I know the type. I don't amp up my appeal very much because it unnerves me. Fortunately, I ende up with a guy who's attracted to my appearance AND my personality. It can be difficult to sort them , but there are men who will see you lore as just a sex object and when you do and enjoy his specific attention, you'll be glad for your attractive nature. Be grateful and appreciate the gift of natural beauty.

  • I have been experiencing this as well. It is hard to pick the good apples from the bad ones. I just wish I knew how to go about picking the good ones! :)

  • i understand..honestly ignore them.You haven't yet come accross who is in love with you