Do you say hateful things easily?

It's all in the question. So do you say hateful things easily? Even if you don't really hate the person you are saying it to, but because you are irritated because of the person or something, you end up saying something really hateful or offensive. How often does that happen?

I know a few guys who get hateful real easily and it seems that nowadays that some guys are real quick to call women whores, sluts, bitches etc. and some girls are quick to call men jerks, a**holes, p****** etc.

As for myself, I don't usually say those types of things about others, but that maybe just because I usually take out my anger and irritation by physical means, going for a jog or working out in the gym.


Most Helpful Girl

  • It's fairly easy for me to *think* hateful things, but it really takes a lot for me to actually say them.

    Some people offer insults, like the ones you mentioned, out of hurt. They get angry because they're in pain - so they lash out. It all has to do with emotion. People do a lot of crazy things when their judgment is being clouded by strong emotions.

    The people I have no patience for are those that mean, not out of emotion, but out of joy. Some people are genuinely delighted to make others feel bad. It can sometimes come from a life of being in that kind of environment themselves, but sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes, people just like it, which worries me a bit.

    • Thank you for answering.

What Girls Said 39

  • I only do when I'm upset. I seem to know exactly what to say that will hurt the most. I don't mean it but I'm mad and feel like I need to hurt the other person in return

    • Thank you for answering. Do you only do that to the one who made you angry or do you do it to other people as well while you are angry?

  • I learn to control hateful sayings if I don't really mean them. Last year I have said some really hateful or extremely offensve things to my sister and a close friend which I deeply regret and didn't really mean it, I was just irritated. I guess I was going through a stage of pmsing and had a lot of hormones since I'm a teenager. I don't really have much anger because I do stretches, go to church, volunteer and do yoga. But for the fun of it and to keep awkward situatons to arrise around friends, I usually joke around and say mean things toward other people which I don't say directily to the person I am bagging on. You create a closer friendship to someone if you dislike the same person.

    • Thanks for answering. But I don't think that mutual dislike should be used to closen bond of friendship, if you don't yourself dislike the person in the first place.

    • well for a teenager like me, that's what a lot of girls do at my school, sadly :/ I usually don't start convos with saying judgmental things. Other girls usually start that kind of convo so I just go along with it.

  • Well, I'm honest when the time comes for honesty. I'm not passive, but I never feel need to dis anyone or call unnecessary names or be derogatory. I usually address and solve my anger, or exert it elsewhere.

    However, I CAN be brutal when effed with. I know insecurities and stay away from them, regardless of how I feel, but when a psycho ex (ex because he was VERY physically abusive) of mine attacked me verbally without cause frequently, I finally broke and said something below the belt. He is the ONLY one and I ONLY do it because he backs off. He's still not over it. (He's 5'2" so I said "Alright. Leave me alone now, wife beating midget with a small d***.") (Yet he calls me a retard, dumbass, bitch, whore, slut without any provocation, he'll text me things like "Hey ****, when you're not being a busy being a retard have my son call me, OK slut?." just randomly without reason. He's known to be incredibly impulsive and I used to excuse it because I would justify that he 'couldn't help it', or 'didn't mean to', and then I realized he was leaning on that crutch.

    • Thank you for answering. I agree that you did the right thing to stand up to yourself, but I wonder was he insecure about his height and all? Then I can see how that sort of insult would work, but if someone insulted my height and penis size, I'd just laugh them off.

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    • Also I'm usually very tolerant. Knowing that he pushed me into saying something, he knew I said it because it was true, not just to get his ego, but that I knew it would knowing his insecurities. It very much shook him up. Usually though, as I said, you're hard pressed to get me to dis someone because I see it as unnecessary and inappropriate. This one...was necessary and appropriate. And knowing that the first two were facts, he was left to assume the 3rd was. (;

    • I see. Then I can understand that he would take it to heart.

  • I can curse people off very easily, without any hesitation or regret if I want to. Most people see curses and names as hateful etc.

    However, things that truly hurt someone where it hurts most, ie hit at their innermost insecurities/fears/issue etc, I can pretty much never say out loud anymore. I consider these truly hateful things to say to someone, enourmously more hateful any meaningless curse words. Those are the things that are truly damaging. I'm unfortunate enough to know how to hit pretty much anyone I want exactly where it hurts the most, it's natural for me as well as a results of studying people, relationships, psychology etc, but I vowed to try and say anything truly hurtful to others again and so regarding those sort of hateful things, no it is not easy for me.

    • Thanks for the answer. I see, that does make sence, but of course the sort of cursing can hit someone in the insecurity even accidentally, so I don't believe that they are "meaningless curse words."

    • That's true. I think I was more referring to generic ''f off'' or ''jerk'' or ''douche'' at that part, my mistake, but I do understand that for ex, calling a girl 'whore' or a guy 'p****' can be quite hurtful too. I personally amen't much bothered by them, but I realize everyone is different. That's just my take on it really.

  • I don't. I really don't say insulting things to anybody.

    HOWEVER... it's the way I say things that may pass as aggresive. For instance, at work, if something went wrong and I get pissed, I go to the person that messed up and tell him/her something like "I told you this was urgent, why couldn't you have it on time and exactly the way it should have been?"

    See? There is nothing verbally insulting. It's just confrontation, but my facial expression gives away a ton of aggression, and also in my tone. My voice is usually calm and sweet, so when I'm angry there is a radical change and anybody can tell I'm upset. I don't explode and say mean things, but since people are used to me being sweet and patient, when I'm angry they really resent it and deem it aggresive.

    So, no, I don't really call names. I may think them, aaaaall the time, in the subway, at work, at my boyfriend, and a friend, but only in my head and not lasting at all.

    • Thank you for answering.

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What Guys Said 14

  • I like everybody. I even like Mitt Romney now that he's stopped approving messages.

    • Thank you for answering.

  • I used to. I was in a long term relationship I should have never been in. I would say harmful things just because the relationship wasn't what it should have been. Instead of getting out or trying hard to make it better, I just acted like a jerk. I didn't say terrible things, but things that hurt.

    After the relationship ended, it took a couple years for me to really see how badly I treated her. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't THAT bad. We remained very good friends for years after that, but in hindsight I see how I could have done much better. For sure it fell into the "lessons learned" category. Woman are much more hurt by that kind of thing than men. I was too busy seeing things from my perspective as a man, and didn't spend enough time trying to understand what she wanted as a woman. It was my mistake.

    Now I go out of my way to compliment a woman. I go out of my way to find out what is important to her, instead of trying to see it from my perspective. I understand that it doesn't have to make sense to me as a man. What matters is that it's important to her. I took too long to learn that lesson. I said things that hurt, thinking that because something like that wouldn't hurt me, it shouldn't hurt her either. Well it DID hurt her. And that's the only thing that matters.

    • Thank you for answering. You go out of your way to compliment a woman? Isn't that a little superficial?

    • That probably wasn't the best way to say it. More like I try hard to remember to give them a compliment every now and then. Like with someone I know well, talking about every subject on the planet, it's easy to forget to say the little things. It doesn't come as natural to me as it does to other people, so I need to remind myself. It's always sincere and honest, I just forget to do it. And not just in relationships. For example telling a co-worker "looks good, you did a good job on that".

  • I don't, My mother is an old fashioned christian caribbean woman, She raised me to be a disciplined person, neither of my parents had tolerance for BS or disrespectful nature.

    Even as a kid, I would never insult anyone, I was somewhat of a gentle quiet kid, I have changed over the years but one thing remain, My manners. I won't insult people, I wouldn't disrespect people, EVEN if they made me very angry, I learned to bite my tongue and just walk away.

    "If you don't have anything nice to say, Don't say anything at all" , This old fashion quote speaks for itself, Most people feel they HAVE to scream out their frustration towards people without thinking about it.

    I have no tolerance for rude/inconsiderate people, IF you just scream out rude stuff left and right, I wouldn't want you in my life.

    • Good teaching. But does that mean that you can't critisize anyone? I don't mean critisize just for the sake of hating someone, but critisism in the manner that you point out something that person could work on.

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    • I agree, it's not your decision and I'm glad you respect that. But I've played team sports all my life, so it's sort of grown on me to be a sort of bad guy in the respect that I'll be the one usually to point out flaws in something, play style or a single moment, team composition or someone slacking off, that sort of thing. But I always remember to critisize myself as well and strive to improve on those flaws rather than just use them to make someone feel down.

    • ahh, in your example, that's perfectly fine because its a sport to work on. I criticise myself very harshly, I do martial arts, I'm more effective with my right leg than I am with my left, So I would sit there and analyze myself and even ask other people to point out my flaws from martial arts to anything else I do, so I can improve.

  • I can if I wanted to, but I lay low on it.

    • Thank you for the answer.

  • i seem to do. that worst part is that even when I try to be nice and peaceful people still seem to get offended at what I say. don't know if I am cursed or not

    • Thank you for answering. Though I doubt you are cursed or anything.

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