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Do you say hateful things easily?

It's all in the question. So do you say hateful things easily? Even if you don't really hate the person you are saying it to, but because you are... Show More

Most Helpful Opinion

  • It's fairly easy for me to *think* hateful things, but it really takes a lot for me to actually say them.

    Some people offer insults, like the ones you mentioned, out of hurt. They get angry because they're in pain - so they lash out. It all has to do with emotion. People do a lot of crazy things when their judgment is being clouded by strong emotions.

    The people I have no patience for are those that mean, not out of emotion, but out of joy. Some people are genuinely delighted to make others feel bad. It can sometimes come from a life of being in that kind of environment themselves, but sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes, people just like it, which worries me a bit.

    • Thank you for answering.

What Girls Said 39

  • I only do when I'm upset. I seem to know exactly what to say that will hurt the most. I don't mean it but I'm mad and feel like I need to hurt the other person in return

    • Thank you for answering. Do you only do that to the one who made you angry or do you do it to other people as well while you are angry?

  • I learn to control hateful sayings if I don't really mean them. Last year I have said some really hateful or extremely offensve things to my sister and a close friend which I deeply regret and didn't really mean it, I was just irritated. I guess I was going through a stage of pmsing and had a lot of hormones since I'm a teenager. I don't really have much anger because I do stretches, go to church, volunteer and do yoga. But for the fun of it and to keep awkward situatons to arrise around friends, I usually joke around and say mean things toward other people which I don't say directily to the person I am bagging on. You create a closer friendship to someone if you dislike the same person.

    • Thanks for answering. But I don't think that mutual dislike should be used to closen bond of friendship, if you don't yourself dislike the person in the first place.

    • well for a teenager like me, that's what a lot of girls do at my school, sadly :/ I usually don't start convos with saying judgmental things. Other girls usually start that kind of convo so I just go along with it.

  • No. I try not to. Doesn't mean it never happened though. In all honesty I really try not to. Being mean doesn't really solve anything but again it's hard to control what you say when you're emotional sometimes. XD

    • Thank you for answering. But what happens when you fail to contain those feelings?

    • Np. Nothing good. XD That's why it's best to stay clam because you can't take back what you said and sorry doesn't always help.

  • No. I'm extremely calm and quiet, which I don't think is such a great thing anymore. I take so much sh*t but I don't speak up. Sad part is, I have to deal with someone I can't stand anymore every single day. she makes me so frustrated but I always remain calm and act like everything is fine.i think its unhealthy to repress my anger but I don't want to cause ruckus. but when the pressure builds up, I go home and cry and I feel better after, and the cycle starts again.

    I hold my tongue all the time and keep acting all happy like everything is fine. but if I'm venting to someone, I'll curse here and there and maybe I'll say some pretty harsh things, but that's it.

    • Thank you for answering. But cursing at someone isn't exactly a great way to stand up for yourself. Disagreeing with something and rising up to defend your opinions is different than just hatefully cussing at someone.

    • Oh no. I never curse at anyone. I meant that the curse words come out if I'm venting to someone. I'm not confrontational. I never argue with anyone. I keep everything bottled up.

  • I say hateful things to a certain person that I dislike and I don't give anymore about feeling bad after.

    I don't say those things either. I'm a really calm person, so I don't say hateful things easily.

    • Thank you for answering. But doesn't saying them to that single person make you more vulnerable to saying those things to someone else?

    • Maybe but I really dislike that person.

  • believe it or not, the first time I started to cursed was 9 months ago. I don't' do it often...but I know I will be back to the way I used to soon :)

    not need to hate anyone

    • Thank you for answering. What caused you to start curssing?

  • i have the ability but not without reason

    • Thank you for answering. Whatkind of reason do you need?

    • my buttons pushed, basically the the HS drama women don't grow out of till age 101

  • I don't. I really don't say insulting things to anybody.

    HOWEVER... it's the way I say things that may pass as aggresive. For instance, at work, if something went wrong and I get pissed, I go to the person that messed up and tell him/her something like "I told you this was urgent, why couldn't you have it on time and exactly the way it should have been?"

    See? There is nothing verbally insulting. It's just confrontation, but my facial expression gives away a ton of aggression, and also in my tone. My voice is usually calm and sweet, so when I'm angry there is a radical change and anybody can tell I'm upset. I don't explode and say mean things, but since people are used to me being sweet and patient, when I'm angry they really resent it and deem it aggresive.

    So, no, I don't really call names. I may think them, aaaaall the time, in the subway, at work, at my boyfriend, and a friend, but only in my head and not lasting at all.

    • Thank you for answering.

  • No I generally don't. It takes A LOT to get me angry enough to trash talk and if I do it's when I'm venting with my go-to friend...and I'll usually admit I was just venting after I cool down. I never go around saying those things to groups if people, or try and start sh*t with that person. If its too big of an issue to be put to rest after my vent time, I'll confront the person and try and work it out that way. No name calling, trashing, or off-topic nastiness. If I feel wronged ill tell them, but as an adult.

    • Thank you for answering.

  • I don't at all, no matter how pisst mad I am I know what's

    Coming out of my mouth! But I knew someone who can get

    Extremely disrespectful once his mad..

    Such a bad habit !

    • Thank you for answering.

  • Well, I'm honest when the time comes for honesty. I'm not passive, but I never feel need to dis anyone or call unnecessary names or be derogatory. I usually address and solve my anger, or exert it elsewhere.

    However, I CAN be brutal when effed with. I know insecurities and stay away from them, regardless of how I feel, but when a psycho ex (ex because he was VERY physically abusive) of mine attacked me verbally without cause frequently, I finally broke and said something below the belt. He is the ONLY one and I ONLY do it because he backs off. He's still not over it. (He's 5'2" so I said "Alright. Leave me alone now, wife beating midget with a small d***.") (Yet he calls me a retard, dumbass, bitch, whore, slut without any provocation, he'll text me things like "Hey ****, when you're not being a busy being a retard have my son call me, OK slut?." just randomly without reason. He's known to be incredibly impulsive and I used to excuse it because I would justify that he 'couldn't help it', or 'didn't mean to', and then I realized he was leaning on that crutch.

    • Thank you for answering. I agree that you did the right thing to stand up to yourself, but I wonder was he insecure about his height and all? Then I can see how that sort of insult would work, but if someone insulted my height and penis size, I'd just laugh them off.

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    • Also I'm usually very tolerant. Knowing that he pushed me into saying something, he knew I said it because it was true, not just to get his ego, but that I knew it would knowing his insecurities. It very much shook him up. Usually though, as I said, you're hard pressed to get me to dis someone because I see it as unnecessary and inappropriate. This one...was necessary and appropriate. And knowing that the first two were facts, he was left to assume the 3rd was. (;

    • I see. Then I can understand that he would take it to heart.

  • No, but then again I'm not an emotionally-motivated person. I think hateful things sometimes, but unless there's a practical purpose to causing someone to get upset & despise you, there's no point in saying it. It doesn't make me feel good to say it or see the other person get hurt/offended/riled up. No point.

    • Thank you for answering.

  • No I don't do that easily. I need to be ultra angry or upset to do that. And it didn't occur more than 3 times to date.

    • Thank you for answering.

  • I rarely do but when I do, I feel very nauseous and I can't sleep much until I apologize and make sure they're okay. Although the hateful things aren't like your examples. lol Recently I called someone a Grinch and felt really bad about that when I thought they were hurt by it so I apologized.

    • Thank you for answering.

  • I don't say those things out loud easily. In my head is a never ending string of hateful thoughts when I get irritated. I'm not the type if person to say a mean or hateful thing to someones face. I have a guilty conscience.

    • Thank you for answering.

  • I can't because I think about how it would make people feel. I don't know if they feel that it's a free pass to say what the want to me but I'm a pretty cool person and very slow to anger. But if I think that the person is way out of line then I will settle them.

    • Thank you for answering. I wonder, would you do it if you knew your cursing would have no effect on the person? Just to let out the anger?

    • No it makes no sense to curse in anger it's ridiculous, makes me sound like I'm so illiterate that I can't express myself. I have my ways of letting out my anger without having to cuss them out. People can feel really sh*tty if you state the truth about them you know, that's good enough.

  • i don't say unless I'm really pissed off but I often say the word a**holes thou :p

    • Thank you for answering. What causes you to use that word so often then?

    • i find arsehole is kinda cute LOL I call my close friend arsehole lol

  • I can curse people off very easily, without any hesitation or regret if I want to. Most people see curses and names as hateful etc.

    However, things that truly hurt someone where it hurts most, ie hit at their innermost insecurities/fears/issue etc, I can pretty much never say out loud anymore. I consider these truly hateful things to say to someone, enourmously more hateful any meaningless curse words. Those are the things that are truly damaging. I'm unfortunate enough to know how to hit pretty much anyone I want exactly where it hurts the most, it's natural for me as well as a results of studying people, relationships, psychology etc, but I vowed to try and say anything truly hurtful to others again and so regarding those sort of hateful things, no it is not easy for me.

    • Thanks for the answer. I see, that does make sence, but of course the sort of cursing can hit someone in the insecurity even accidentally, so I don't believe that they are "meaningless curse words."

    • That's true. I think I was more referring to generic ''f off'' or ''jerk'' or ''douche'' at that part, my mistake, but I do understand that for ex, calling a girl 'whore' or a guy 'p****' can be quite hurtful too. I personally amen't much bothered by them, but I realize everyone is different. That's just my take on it really.

  • I've been around a lot of hateful guys and I'm not very good at taking insults with dignity, so I can be pretty vicious.

    • Thanks for the answer.

  • not at all. because I don't like hurting people because I know what it feels like to get hurt too.

    • Thanks for answering. Though I doubt that there are many people that don't know what it feels like to hurt.

    • yeah.i think you're right.(:

  • I have a very quick temper but I watch what I say because when you say hurtful things, although you may apologize but you've already said it. Words can cut like a knife. Although I may accept your apology, I'm still going to be hurt. Don't say things to others that you wouldn't want said to you!

    • Thank you for answering.

  • It doesn't happen often to me at all actually. I'm pretty good at controlling my mouth but, if provoked a lot then yeah I can turn into a total bitch lol. BUT, I try to avoid those moments at all because I really don't want to hurt people (even if they annoy the heck out of me) so whenever I'm getting really annoyed or irritated by someone I simply ignore them. It's better than snapping and saying hateful things!

    • Thank you for answering. I agree it's better to ignore a person, because sometimes they are doing something irritating just because they want to see someone get angry.

  • sometimes, but others I'm just mad and say whatever is on my mind. it might not be hateful but it can be rude.

    • Thanks for answering. Do you have a definition that separates rude and hateful from each other?

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    • So I see. I would just put them like this: "You might need to go on a diet." is usually considered a rude thing to say, but not hateful where as "You are a fatass." is considered hateful. So it's more to do with the wording and tone for me at least.

    • Yeah, you are ruse butyou aren't exactly saying the person is fat so the person can't get mad

  • Yes, but I'm usually half joking half mad.

    • Thank you for answering. What happens when you are truly mad?

    • Look at the Question I posed on my Reality Check yesters, maybe you saw it :D. That's what happens. Tho, I apologized for most of it.

  • All the time. I curse people out at the drop of a hat. I usually feel bad afterward, but I have a very short temper. I can actually be the most hateful with people I know well, I'm not sure why though.

    • Thank you for answering. Do you think you've grown more hateful with age or has it dropped or stayed the same?

    • I've gotten a bit more hateful.

  • No, I don't I know it sounds warm and fuzzy, but I have to much love inside of me to say hurtful things to people. Even when they have hurt me. That does not mean I am a door matt, I will let you know if you fu$k with me. :-). I hope that makes sense.

    • Awww :)

    • Thank you for answering.

  • no I don't say hateful things unless you reallllllllllly push me to the limit

    • Thank you for answering.

  • When I was a kid I was like that but now I don't. When I am angry I watch what I say even more because once something is said it cannot be unsaid.

    • Thank you for answering.

  • No. You really need to push me over the edge to get hateful, and when I do, it isn't pretty.

    • Thank you for answering.

  • anyone I have hateful thoughts about is not someone id be talking to. so id have no reason to say anything. if someone is disrespectful as a person I have nothing to do with them. if they do a disrespectful thing, I do not define the by the act but deal with it.

    im very careful to not say things I don't mean because I'm very literal and I would take anything anyone said at face value. so I ca not exaggerate when talking to another person. just seems unethical to me.

    and I'm very careful to not define a person as a jerk just because they did a jerky thing because it is categorically wrong and I avoid acting ignorant because its demeaning. as is shamelessly losing control.

    anyone easily being hateful is not really in a position to hold down meaningful rational relations, and would benefit from lessons in human interaction, relating and probably as therapist.

    when I'm angry I go running or punch a punching bag are go hiking or play basketball. not act like a retarded monkey. when someone loses it I just think, what time were they supposed to take their meds. mustive missed a dose.

    • Thanks for answering. But you really think that every time somebody gets angry, they do so because they are mentally ill and have forgotten to take their medications? Jumping to quite a conclusion.

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    • How do you know that they don't have a reason to be hateful? Maybe that reason has nothing to do with you and is a very bad reason to be hateful, but it's still a reason.

    • i don't mean they feel no motivation. I mean there's no practical purpose. of course they feel they have a reason-because they feel like it. creating turmoil just to satisfy your ego is not a 'reason' its an emotional crutch.

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What Guys Said 14

  • I like everybody. I even like Mitt Romney now that he's stopped approving messages.

    • Thank you for answering.

  • I can if I wanted to, but I lay low on it.

    • Thank you for the answer.

  • I don't, My mother is an old fashioned christian caribbean woman, She raised me to be a disciplined person, neither of my parents had tolerance for BS or disrespectful nature.

    Even as a kid, I would never insult anyone, I was somewhat of a gentle quiet kid, I have changed over the years but one thing remain, My manners. I won't insult people, I wouldn't disrespect people, EVEN if they made me very angry, I learned to bite my tongue and just walk away.

    "If you don't have anything nice to say, Don't say anything at all" , This old fashion quote speaks for itself, Most people feel they HAVE to scream out their frustration towards people without thinking about it.

    I have no tolerance for rude/inconsiderate people, IF you just scream out rude stuff left and right, I wouldn't want you in my life.

    • Good teaching. But does that mean that you can't critisize anyone? I don't mean critisize just for the sake of hating someone, but critisism in the manner that you point out something that person could work on.

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    • I agree, it's not your decision and I'm glad you respect that. But I've played team sports all my life, so it's sort of grown on me to be a sort of bad guy in the respect that I'll be the one usually to point out flaws in something, play style or a single moment, team composition or someone slacking off, that sort of thing. But I always remember to critisize myself as well and strive to improve on those flaws rather than just use them to make someone feel down.

    • ahh, in your example, that's perfectly fine because its a sport to work on. I criticise myself very harshly, I do martial arts, I'm more effective with my right leg than I am with my left, So I would sit there and analyze myself and even ask other people to point out my flaws from martial arts to anything else I do, so I can improve.

  • I'm a bitter man who puts on a facade of kindness and emotional stability, despite the fact that I'm capable of quite insanely irrational behavior :P (For example, saying out loud to his face that my Year 10 Science Teacher had a brain "the size of a Chinese Leprechauns testicle." D:)

    • Thank you for answering.

  • Only to people I'm close with, but they don't care because no one ever takes me seriously lol

    • Thank you for answering. But doesn't that concern you? That they don't take you seriously?

    • It does a little, but I say A LOT of stupid stuff, that's why...

  • I used to. I was in a long term relationship I should have never been in. I would say harmful things just because the relationship wasn't what it should have been. Instead of getting out or trying hard to make it better, I just acted like a jerk. I didn't say terrible things, but things that hurt.

    After the relationship ended, it took a couple years for me to really see how badly I treated her. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't THAT bad. We remained very good friends for years after that, but in hindsight I see how I could have done much better. For sure it fell into the "lessons learned" category. Woman are much more hurt by that kind of thing than men. I was too busy seeing things from my perspective as a man, and didn't spend enough time trying to understand what she wanted as a woman. It was my mistake.

    Now I go out of my way to compliment a woman. I go out of my way to find out what is important to her, instead of trying to see it from my perspective. I understand that it doesn't have to make sense to me as a man. What matters is that it's important to her. I took too long to learn that lesson. I said things that hurt, thinking that because something like that wouldn't hurt me, it shouldn't hurt her either. Well it DID hurt her. And that's the only thing that matters.

    • Thank you for answering. You go out of your way to compliment a woman? Isn't that a little superficial?

    • That probably wasn't the best way to say it. More like I try hard to remember to give them a compliment every now and then. Like with someone I know well, talking about every subject on the planet, it's easy to forget to say the little things. It doesn't come as natural to me as it does to other people, so I need to remind myself. It's always sincere and honest, I just forget to do it. And not just in relationships. For example telling a co-worker "looks good, you did a good job on that".

  • i seem to do. that worst part is that even when I try to be nice and peaceful people still seem to get offended at what I say. don't know if I am cursed or not

    • Thank you for answering. Though I doubt you are cursed or anything.

  • Oh definitely... I have a very brash and crude personality. Sometimes I can't believe some of the words that come out of my mouth... city living does that to you.

    • Thanks for answering. So you think it's the enviroment you live in rather than a natural habit?

    • Yes, a lot of it stems from environment. I say that because most of my "hateful" statements pertain to other people. In the city, there's an abundance of people. Hence, the more prevalent the hateful statements.

  • no I basically never do

    • Thank you for answering.

  • No no I'm the exact opposite, I never do

    • Thanks for the answer.

  • Not easily, only when I mean it.

    • Thank you for your answer.

  • i think some guys are total jerks and are jerks all the time. The rest of the guys are respectful in general. Most girls are respectful when normal, but if they get emotional and upset many turn into hateful ans spiteful beings real quick.

    • Thank you for answering.

  • Sometimes. Usually after they bait me into it by doing it first. I know that two wrongs don't make a right and I shouldn't sink down to their level, but it will eventually come out if they keep pushing. I admit I have an anger problem, but I've noticed anytime that I keep my cool, it sends them into overdrive and I'll explode.

    • Thanks for answering. But it's logical isn't it? If they try to bait you and you don't do anything at first, then they will just try harder?

    • Certainly is. Misery loves company,so they get even more pissed if you are not as pissed as they are. They'll try as hard as they can to get it that way.

  • F*** you

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