Should I send an anonymous email?

I like this girl, I know she likes me. She is married, I want to send an anonymous email. A few words: " Your beautiful" as the james blunt song goes.She'll know who sent it. Could I get in trouble? Is it too creepy?


I agree with the " she is married". Because it leaves me vulnerable in so many ways including the eternal laws of the universe.

She has approached me before through girlfriends. So, I know she is interested. I'm a stud, I can have pretty well any girl I want. It's just the way it is...

Women love my personality, charm, and mixed appearence. I'm a piece of work.

I guess I'll just leave her by the wayside for now...

I think the most sane and balanced response is the guy who said to be very careful. If a married woman approaches you, it is different from you going on the attack. Although, I would win either way, I might get a few scrapes here or there. No girl has ever said no to me. I am what I am.

I will admit my tactics are a little unorthodox. But, in the end they always come around. A challenge is always nice once in a while. Thanks again to good better best bad!
good better best bad, your right, they are judging me for asking a sincere question. I think there is a reflective quality to your answer. Life is not made of absolutes, there is a middle path. My best friend's wife just sent me an email: The girl believes I am the one, but there were many people involved and this made things very complicated. Even dangerous. I'll end with a caption for the hearing impaired: To stay married to someone when you love someone else is worse then adultery.

The email goes: " no words to say,no words to convey these feelings I have for you deep in my heart, safe from the guards of intellect and reason leaving me at a loss for words to express my feelings deep in my heart". Originally written decades ago by Tracy Chapman, and part of her Yearbook. She was the high school princess, and nothings changed! World War 3 Has already begun...


Most Helpful Guy

  • Married women are still available but VERY VERY dangerous territory. If she's being cold to you, then you know you shouldn't do it. However if she's kind of showing you that she's not in a happy marriage, then yes you can go ahead and do it. Again, tread CAREFULLY

    • Just as women shouldn't get involved with married men so should men avoid f***ing someone else's wife. Where is the decency?

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    • This is ridiculous!

    • Sorry you have taken so much abuse. I do not think people read all your answers, especially that we agreed that the best decision is not too. I will definitely be careful, it is very dangerous waters.

What Girls Said 56

  • She is married . That should be an automatic deal breaker.

    What do you expect to come from this?

    Her to blush and flirt with you more?

    Even if that is the reaction you get, you are interfering with a marriage and trust me,

    nothing good will come from this.

    She will not leave her husband for you.

    Try finding a woman that is single and flirt with her.

    • I flirt with ever girl I meet. She is the one who is initating.

  • Even if she weren't married, that would still be creepy.

  • Nothing good will come of it so link

  • She's married. End of story. In fact, that's the whole story. There's nothing else to say. Back off!

  • Dude! Just leave her be! She's MARRIED. It's hard enough to like someone when you are married to someone else, WITHOUT providing her the temptation! Plus, unless you create a new email account with an anonymous name (which would be extremely creepy) your name would come up with the message anyway.

    • I was born as a temptation.I'm a hybred.

  • Dude, she's married. don't do it

  • Dude. If it's your best friend's wife then you are a bigger ass. And if she's a cheater well yes she will probably cheat with someone else but it still doesn't make your actions right and I hope you don't want something more serious than getting laid with this woman. Also, bear in mind that relationships are complicated and sometimes you don't love the person your with as much as you love someone else because guess what? That someone else doesn't love or respect you the same way as the person that you are with. I've been unwilling to settle into this type of relationship and guess what, I'm still single and contemplating that I don't want to die alone eaten by an Alsatian so I will give the guys who love and like me a chance instead of testing my luck and submitting my heart to further heartbreak and humiliation with men that are not interested. So yeah do what you want and don't ask people stupid questions when you've already decided what you want to do. So write a letter... No it is not creepy since you both like one another. Will it cause any trouble? Yes especially for her but since you don't give a sh*t really,why not? Just know it's not right and karma is a bitch.

    • My best friend's wife was the go between. She fills me in. I would never cheat on my best friends wife or anyones wife. I would rather walk the plank.

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    • I won't do it. I like your answer, . Its hilarious! But, well taken. I have never, and will never go with a married woman. Even when they throw themselves at me. The song would make her home a living hell, cause its true. Especially if I did it so it gets traced to her ex boyfriend. Battles are fought with guns and bullets but won by men. I'm brilliant, but character is destiny!

    • Just have sex with them and leave the rest of us alone and believe me buddy if you met me things wouldn't be easy.

  • Two possible outcomes:

    A. She loves her husband and you will come off as a complete idiot. She may even show the email to him and you might end up without teeth as he husband punches your face.

    B. She is into you is in an unhappy marriage... but instead of divorcing him she uses suckers like you to have sex with and get them emotionally involved. Plus its a complete lack of ethics and self love to do this to yourself cause if you ever do end up in a relationship you will be scared that your gf/wife will cheat on you.

  • She's married. Bad idea all around.

  • Not cool man not cool. Plus I had that happen once in college. I have no idea how dude got my name mixed up with someone else since it is so unusual, but he told me how beautiful I was. He then sent another one about how much he wanted to ask me out. Then another about how he loved to sit behind me and look at me. I told him I sat at the back with no one behind me. It was then he realized I was the wrong woman. At first though it was a bit creepy since he kept telling me weird things about him. OK they were only weird since I knew nothing about him, but still.

  • An anonymous email quoting You're beautiful would possibly freak me out and then I'd show it to my fiance and we'd both probably laugh our asses off. Don't do it. If she ever finds out its you, even if she's not happy in her marriage, you wouldn't even be up for consideration

  • Honestly, yes that is kind of creepy. But she may be flattered if she actually knows you. If you're just a far away admirer and she barely knows you, she may go running for the hills but it all depends. If she's attracted to you, if she has a relationship or a friendship with you, she may be flattered or like you but... she's taken already. You could ruin a whole relationship and at what costs?

    You and her may not work out and then you went and ruined a relaitonship. If she has marital problems she should work those out first and either chose to stay or leave but don't be the determining factor unless there's already issues. I'm saying this because some woman are in horrible relationships, they're abused and treated like crap and they deserve better men but if her relationship is fine you shouldn't really be playing with fire.

    Honestly... I think you should probably look for another crush instead of a woman whose married. I know that's NOT the answer you want to hear.. but I don't think you should send the email and she may be creeped out if she barely knows you and all you say is "your beautiful" that's a bit creepy. Usually if somebody is going to profess their love they put more words into it than that and plus she's married so... its kinda a double edged sword.

  • she is married, and you should respect that, however, she may not be happy in her marriage.

    in my opinion, if she does leave her husband for u, it isn't your fault. that is going to be her decision.

    • It still weighs on your conscience. She is in a cramped, stale and very unpleasant living situation. I'm the rose garden.

  • It's a sweet thought but unless you're 110% percent sure that she want's to end her marriage and be with you - my answer would be a definate no. Sorry :)

    • I like your 110% comment. We won't know until things play out. I'm sure I'll win. Its a matter of doing with the least casualties.

  • She's married, so NO.

  • Bad idea. Don't do it.


  • she's married.

    that's a line her husband would be adamant you can't cross and if she's not happy, she should take that in her own hands, not you.

    I would find it creepy.

    I'm engaged to marry and I have this one guy on Facebook keeps emailing me-both me and my fiance find it creepy.

    yes , find another one.

    good luck.

  • Per your update...HAHA you wish!

    • My thoughts exactly. "I'm a stud." Barf!

    • If he was such a stud he wouldn't need to have sex or romance a woman that is already taken.

    • I get any girl I truly like.

  • Yes that is super creepy and you're a total douche bag for attempting to pursue a married woman:)

    • She came to me, I have not done anything yet.

  • Jeez dude... what is wrong with you? SHe is married! I will admit to one thing. Some women are really fickle and sometimes their heads are not on their shoulders. As this woman has probably been married for a long time, she probably doesn't get told she is beautiful. I wouldn't go encouraging her and making her head big. You know why? Becuase she is going to have her mind on her anonymous lover and keep thinking about it. Women love it when guys are thinking about them and they tend to forget who they are married to. I say it is a little creepy and it will cause friction between her and her husband. Just look and don't say anything...even anonymously.

    You don't want to be the source of a divorce now do you?

  • is it even possible to send an anonymous email?

    but, anyway, you may *like* her and she may *like* you but she is married. so, NO. You shouldn't do that.

    • A very good point, politics come into play. A better question is, how much do I like her and how much does she like me?. It has to feel right. I would never commit adultery. It invites retribution. If I do that to him, someone could do that to me. Its not an easy situation. Only time will tell.

  • Wow, that's a really sh*tty idea.

  • She's Married. That's a big No! No!. Yeah she likes you...but does she like you more then her husband(you know, the guy she VOWED to spend the rest of her life with!) Don't lose a friend...

  • Btw you didn't need to have answers from us most of us said don't do it ! But you still chose as BA the answer you wanted from the start. You just needed someone to reassure that it'sokay so that you don't feel guilty. And it's not ok.

    • He said its best not too.

  • She is married...don't...just dont...

  • She is married.. no communication like that is proper at all.

    • To answer your update: Charm is deceitful.. and you will leave her by the wayside for now?

      Makes me disgusted.. it doesn't matter how good looking you are. I would never even consider dating someone like you.

      And I really hope that girl sees through you!

    • All of this is ridiculous. THE WOMAN IS TAKEN>>> DUH!

    • I think she does see through me..

  • Don't do it, it's creepy and sounds like you're stalking her.

  • Don't get involved with a married woman

  • Creepy. Plus she's married.

    Don't waste your time.

    • That sounds like you're trying waaay too hard to sound all deep and sh*t. If she's happily married she won't go for it.

    • Nice and deep! maybe, I should try and become his best friend.

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What Guys Said 12

  • Sooooo creepy.

  • Please, don't do it. She's married. What if you're married to that girl and some other guy hits on her behind your back?

  • How do you know she'll know who sent it?

    Obviously, the law varies from place to place. Probably, no, you can't get in trouble from sending just one e-mail like that.

    It may be a little creepy, especially if she doesn't know who it's from.

    Unless her husband has basically rejected her, I would view your attempt to hit on her as immoral.

    • LOOK It really doesn't matter. I just received news, she is having problems in her marriage. Its over! I did not have to send it... I am glad I didn't because its is unwise. I have to get approval, before it is finalized. I have to make sure she is the "one". Nothing happens by accident, Your very special. I knew it the second I received your email. I can see " Your True Colors" and that's why I LIKE you...

      Its really who I am

    • in other words it would sound really "crazy" if I did. because she does not know specifically what I mean. It can mean anything.

  • I would shag a married woman but I'm in highshcool, your a grown adult male WTF are you thinking?!?

    • Hey bud, I agree. I would not do it, if even in high school. I never was going to shag her. Life becomes complicated. Cupid likes to send arrows, just ask Facebook. An anonymous email is more like a scud, lots of collateral damage. No one wants that, especially if you care about someone. I'll just sit it out. If they send an arrow, I'll send one back. Her name is haley. She is 3 years younger than me. We went to high school together, and : she is the only girl that I "adore".

  • She will fear for her safety and children.

  • If she's married, forget it. Learn to respect a marriage.

  • I stopped at married.

    Don't do it

  • Right so let me get this thing straight. You're willing jeopardize your "best friend's" marriage just so you can get a few f***s with his wife? You're willing to terminate your so-called friendship up when there are millions of other girls waiting for a chump like you.

    Listen to me carefully, it isn't worth it - it never will, even if it seems to you that his wife isn't having a great marriage. Adultery is a criminal offence in 23 states, not only will you be criminally charged but you will lose that reputation of being a "charmer". Girls will start to overlook you and want nothing to do with you.

    Not only that but your best friend will bury you in his past i.e will never speak a word to you again.

    I agree with most people here you're a brat who needs to be taught a lesson. For someone between the ages of 36 to 45 it makes you seem very immature.

    "To stay married to someone when you love someone else is worse than adultery" This just sums it all up. How so? Please tell us.

    • You did not get anything straight. No adultery, don't even knowthe guy, decided almost right away not to send it... As far as the statement about " worse than adultery..": How would you feel if your wife kept her true love a secret all these years, because the guy she truly loved keeps avoiding her and he is infatuated with someone else. Would you want to stay married to her?

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    • Then after what you just said DON'T GET WITH HER. Let her resolve her issues with her husband, maybe there are just small arguments that get her going. She's using you as a rebound lol ... Get on with your life. Go find a SIGNLE girl and take it from there. Never mess with the married.

    • Bud, we are resolving the issue by spending time together. On Valentine's day an agreement was reached, that she would decide. He wants it too. But, me being the gentle soul that I am said that I would not cheat. We would just get to know each other. Its torture not being with her like I want. Its like I can't feel the love. She is not letting me into her "secret garden". I think she thinks I'm like the latest smart phone or something...women and their phones...


  • Kinda creepy dude.

    • Dude, please stop updating the question.

  • She married. Have some class and leave her alone. There's plenty of attractive single women you could be focusing on.

  • Married women screw like minks. Go for it. Who cares about marriage, it isn't taken as serious as it used to. She's just going to screw around with someone else, so just might as well be with you.

    As for the e-mail, stick to the point. Tell her exactly how & what you want to do to her. When it comes time when you do hook up, she'll be ready to rip your clothes off.

    • And married men don't? Even if the person is an a**hole who cheats that still doesn't give me freeway to sleep with someone elses dude.

    • Why not walk the plank instead.

    • After reading your 2nd update that it was your "best friends" girl & not some stranger in a dead end abusive R/L, this shouldn't have even of crossed your mind or be an issue. Maybe the plank is a good idea. If you can have any girl you want like you say, why would go for your best friends woman of all people?